Ho w to talk to your boss in a meeting with him

[isthatso]

No I don't have the answer.
I was hoping someone else did.

I have monthly scheduled meetings with my boss called "Supervisions". As far as I know, the purpose is to maintain good communications, see how you are faring, allow you to vent. Not a performance appraisal.
I often walk away from mine feeling downtrodden as if my performance is below par, as if I'm close to being sacked. If I air a grievance it is minimised. If my boss has an allegation, it is maximised. If I have questions, I get vague answers. If he questions me, it's more like abrupt interrogation. "who what, where when, give me concrete evidence". I'm no saint but I believe I am doing my job competently. I am doing all required in regard to job description. I think my boss would like to change the job description, change the rules in order to keep me in check. I tend to bring up (in meetings with him)matters in regard to bullying, bad manners etc. that is occurring on a daily basis. it seems to annoy the hell out of him.
He will raise his voice, go on the attack (interrogate), fault find, even roll his eyes. He said last time "you're neurotic!'

 

[ladyforsaken]

Ugh, sometimes it's pure luck the type of superiors you get. In my experience, every year, my supervisor changes because they're trying to make them superiors know each one of us. So far, I've learned that if my supervisor is one I can talk to, then I will really go all out and talk.... but if it's one who just.. I can't deal with, I'll just let it go and carry on. It sucks because sometimes I'm stuck with a problem and I have no one else to look for but her... I always end up handling things on my own anyway.

Back to topic though, how to talk to your boss, I guess depending on the way he is and I'm sure you know by now what he's like and what sort of topics does he like talking about with you, you then try to work your conversations around it? Can't push for what you can't get from them. You say that you feel you are competent, then be confident when you tell him this and give supporting evidence. I'm not sure what sort of feedback he'd give you but you can then work it from there.

Actually, I'm not sure if any ^ of that helps because I feel like I'm rambling here. Probably because I just got a runaround by my management and I had to look for several supervisors because the first few knew nothing of what I was asking about. Sighs..

 

[MQForbes]

My response would be to stay CONFIDENT in both your work and personal conduct. I feel that is the mainstay for both your job and a representation of the quality of your work.

I own my own business and I started at an extremely young age. I did not realize how to conduct myself in meetings and didn't fully grasp how paramount proper communication was with my employees and it held me back.
So maybe there is a lane of communication (ie his boss) that you could use to help him realize this.

Another possibility is that he could have been hired to "black-ball" workers. As sad as sounds, some companies out there hire people into management to get rid of workers that have maxed out their salary. Such actions could severely hurt your employment opportunities. If your boss is very confrontational (and irrational), try to not to start conflicts. If you suspect that this is true, then stay on your toes with your conduct.

Still, its very important that try to build a working relationship with your boss. Watch his mannerisms and attitudes, and try to determine what exactly sets him off. Then approach him in a manner that is friendly and positive, but direct in a business kind of way. Try to have an emphasis on action words that hopefully lead your egghead boss to the correct action. Finally, speak with confidence and keep eye contact to show your attentive and care.

Always Remember: YOU work hard, YOUR company succeeds

(On a side note: Are you describing my avatar, Bill Lumbergh, from office space? lol )

 

[xaero]

I wish I knew. My boss doesn't take me or my work seriously.

 

[Walley]

I am a department manager myself, and in all my experience, the way to talk to your boss or others in authority is to simply talk to them like you would talk to anyone else (that you respect)
I always look them in the eyes, and not just act confident, but BE confident. talk to them like you are on the same level as they are and that you have nothing to hide or fear. don't say risky or stupid things, but then again, be yourself and don't make it seem as if you are holding back.
it doesn't work with everyone, as some people can have attitudes and think that because they are a boss that they are a higher class level, but there isn't a lot you can do with those kinda people besides play your part.

 

[isthatso]

Thanks guys. You've given me a lot to mull over there. I'm not naturally good at impressing others with confidence, being quietly spoken and low profile kind of person. I know other staff who could really speak their mind and impress him. I, however, either put my foot in my mouth or don't know how to play to my strengths....which are ??
Just I feel abused and wish there could be a third party there to keep everything above board without emotions running too high. Fantasising about having some lawyer there advocating for me.

 

[Evil_Genius]

I think that in an office environment, the ability to talk and speak your mind and fight your corner is a very necessary skill. My good staff are often telling me why they think I'm wrong and I can discuss the point with them. My poor staff say nothing and/or hear nothing.

---

And supervisions sounds like a Marvel/DC art gallery.

 

[Naleena]

bump

 

[Case]

I have had bosses who have minimized my concerns and maximized their own. That's why I tell the bosses who ARE effective managers that I appreciate their way of managing. I will always give credit where it is due.

To answer your post, isthatso, there is nothing you can do to make a bad manager good. This sounds counter-productive, but if I detect that a manager will minimize my concerns, I won't tell him/her anything. If my boss then asks me to open up, I will say "I don't really have anything to say." If there is an issue, I will email my boss and save it in a folder so there is a trail of my efforts.

If I was in your situation, I would secretly record our conversations as back up evidence, and if a serious problem arose, I'd have the evidence to rely upon.

I'm not sure that would work in your situation, but I wish you well. Bad bosses suck.

 

[isthatso]

That was 10 years ago. I still think about that boss. He actually had some nice traits.
I got fed up and tried to report him to higher bosses. That backfired for me and I accidentally cc'd the wrong people.
I was increasingly getting impatient with coworkers and bored with the job. The money was excellent though. I miss that money to this day.
The next few jobs were lower pay and intolerable. From the kitchen into the frying pan? Yeah I got a wake up call for sure. You really need to be rational when changing jobs. Don't change jobs on emotion. Do the figures. If the money's good, work out how much you need to save, before quitting. Be cold and rational. Don't quit because you feel unpopular. Even wait for them to fire you. That boss actually told me I was doing a good job. Night shift was starting to play with my mental health. I felt I had to go.

 

[MysteriousTelephone]

I've just come across this, and realise it's no longer helpful to you now, but I'd like to throw it out there for someone else:

Get everything in writing. That is to say, if you're having a meeting with your boss/supervisor, have a member of HR take minutes, as well as a co-worker you trust to sit in. If you have a question or grievance, make sure it goes in the minutes. Even if your boss does not give you a direct answer to the question, there will be now be a paper trail that you asked.

For example, if a machine not working correctly is affecting your performance, ask when it's going to be fixed, or what alternatives the company could offer. That way, if you get pulled up again over this, you can refer to the minutes from the meeting and assuredly point out that you've been requesting the issue be resolved.

 

[isthatso]

Get everything in writing. That is to say, if you're having a meeting with your boss/supervisor, have a member of HR take minutes, as well as a co-worker you trust to sit in. If you have a question or grievance, make sure it goes in the minutes. Even if your boss does not give you a direct answer to the question, there will be now be a paper trail that you asked.

Yeah , the obsessive part of me might agree with you. But the reality is, bosses usually win. My boss won an award for employee of the year, the year before that incident. It's more about reputation and credibility. Mine didn't rate compared to his

 

[MysteriousTelephone]

Yeah , the obsessive part of me might agree with you. But the reality is, bosses usually win. My boss won an award for employee of the year, the year before that incident. It's more about reputation and credibility. Mine didn't rate compared to his

It's true, they do, my point was just to get everything in writing, as then they have no deniability. Too often at my work, we can have an informal talk about something serious, then weeks later they can deny all knowledge of it. I'm now doing a fair amount of communication via email, which is weird in our environment, but I need to cover my own back and have proof that I have raised certain concerns.