How do I get a surreal killer to be my boyfriend???!1

[Sarah_Lbnz]

Hi people!

I am so sick of nice guiz who don't kill and rape, (nice guize are soooooo boring! omg) and I've decided, as a woman, that I want someone with power and influence, aka psychotic tendencies. Cuz I'm a woman and therefore all messed up in the head and I have totally unclear logic, double standards, and I blame all murderers for all my problems instead of taking responsibility like a woman should. And I think that a cereal killer would complete me and make me whole. Even though I hate them and blame them for all my problems. Cuz murderers made me all messed up. And now I'm angry at all of them, cuz they done killed people. But they're so hot.

Does anyone have any advice for me to meet the dreamy, antisocial, currently or soon-to-be incarcerated man of my dreams? Any help would be appreciate.

 

[theraab]

I'll send you a bus ticket and we can discuss it at my house. You'll love my place. I have the best crawl space you've ever seen.

 

[painter's radio]

I stole a bar of chocolate from Woolworths when I was 8.

asl?

 

[Edward W]

Sarah...

I understand.

And I have a confession.

I... I haven't told anyone before... but your honesty...

I...

Well I ate an entire box of Cornflakes yesterday. No milk. I just ripped open the box, tore the bag and ate those crunchy golden flakes.

And I liked it...

I am a cereal killer.

Love me?

 

[Revengineer]

I'll send you a bus ticket and we can discuss it at my house. You'll love my place. I have the best crawl space you've ever seen.

Don't bother, I'm a more surreal killer than he is. I live in a spacious abandoned warehouse and have a freezer full of...meat. I promise you won't have a better meal for the rest of your life.

 

[Sigma]

And I think that a cereal killer would complete me and make me whole.

I once ate a whole box of cereal in one day.
My place or yours?

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

It's so difficult to find cereal killers. Murdering a box of Frosted Flakes is too difficult for some people.

Think outside the box!

 

[EveWasFramed]

It's so difficult to find cereal killers. \

I beg to differ....
All you MEN posting here...and a woman is the only one who scores.
I'll meet you in my room, Sarah. :shy:

 

[painter's radio]

I pity the fool that puts its hand in that box. Look at those eyes!

 

[Sarah_Lbnz]

theraab: I am certainly tempted… I do hope you live way out in the middle of nowhere, with a cellar full of rats…

Painter: that sounds like you’re well on your way to being the man of my dreams. Keep up the good work.

Eddie: I do love you, especially when you just STAB into that bowl. Bc when you stab into that bowl, it’s like you’re stabbing your love, deep into my heart and soul.

Revengineer, that sure sounds tasty! I love them meats! And you have the perfect romantic setting too *swoon*

Sigma: that depends on the cereal. And: do you have cereal at your place?

Muse: most cereal killers stay away from Frosted Flakes, as the sugary goodness and the symbolism of the Growling Tiger that is king of the “Part of a Nutritious Breakfast” Kingdom makes them tremble into their little booties.

I want a spoon made of iron. A spoon that causes the… oh wait. What do we have here….

---

It's so difficult to find cereal killers. \

I beg to differ....
All you MEN posting here...and a woman is the only one who scores.
I'll meet you in my room, Sarah. :shy:

As I said. I gotta have them pops.

We'll be in our bunk.

 

[EveWasFramed]

 

[Sigma]

Sigma: that depends on the cereal. And: do you have cereal at your place?

Washes down nicely with blood of the innocent

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I'm type O- blood. Somehow I think I'm gonna walk away from this thread.

 

[Bob Arctor]

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Oh my God, I died laughing.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Does anyone have any advice for me to meet the dreamy, antisocial, currently or soon-to-be incarcerated man of my dreams? Any help would be appreciate.

You could be on Prison Wives if you tried hard enough.

 

[*Sammy*]

This thread...just pure lol...

I eat mine without milk that's killing them in some form no?

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Try the cereal aisle at midnight on a Friday. That's when the Cereal Killers come out.

Freaks! Weirdos! Captain Crunch losers!

 

[Sarah_Lbnz]

FROSTED FRAKES BWAHAHAHAHA! r.i.p., our beloved commander.

Sammy: yes, that makes you a cereal killer. You can also be my man. GET IN LINE!

Muse: Sounds like I got a date on friday, then. (except I call them Captain Crunch Winners of my Heart)




Oh this thread. I love you guys soooo much *hugs*

 

[*Sammy*]

Lmao i'm a woman but bring it on you'll never want a man again