How do I not be so quiet?

[SpectraApocalypse]

The  I am shy. I am reclusive. I lack self esteem. Most of my day consists of wallowing in failure because of 
my insufficient attempts at anything. This goes for my music, making friends etc. But what hurts me the most is the fact that my lack of self esteem and social anxiety keeps me from saying a single word to any girls I am interested in. Even if they have ever said something to me, I doubt I ever built myself up to say anything to them. It just feels so terrible to be this quiet... im 16 and have only had one girlfriend in my entire life. What am I supposed to do?

 

[constant stranger]

You're 16 eh? And male? OK my advice is try to not let those hormonal pressures get you over stressed when you're actually in the company of girls. Focus instead on successfully achieving a friendship zone type relationship....then if she's interested in something more, she'll let you know somehow.

 

[SpectraApocalypse]

constant stranger: You're 16 eh?  And male?  OK my advice is try to not let those hormonal pressures get you over stressed when you're actually in the company of girls.  Focus instead on successfully achieving a friendship zone type relationship....then if she's interested in something more, she'll let you know somehow.

I try not to. Its complicated. A lot of times I feel guilty for even thinking about them and liking them in the first place. Thank you for the advice, I appreciate your comment.

 

[Joturbo]

How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie.....it really helped me when I was a teenager and gave an amazing boost to my confidence , brought me out of my shell and made me irresistible to women....well up until the first one dumped me but then again I'm a lazy arse and shouldn't have given up on it so quickly...give it a try .

 

[Xpendable]

Drink alcohol.

 

[Sci-Fi]

^ Not very good advice for a 16 year old but I'm not surprised.

Spectra, you just have to put yourself out there and open yourself up. It seems hard to do but if you don't things will never change. The more you try and the more you do it the easier it will get.

 

[Xpendable]

^ Not very good advice for a 16 year old but I'm not surprised.  

 

[Black Manta]

I gave this advice to another kid on here and I think it's good advice....get a part-time job. I went to an all boys high school and I didn't know how to meet girls. I started working at a McDonald's and I got used to being around and talking to girls. It was weird at first but like anything else you get used to it. Just try to stay out of the friend-zone if you can. I wish i had know that was a thing back then.

 

[TheLoadedDog]

Spectra, I'm a nerd and have these issues. But I'm 48 years old, and have learned they're not actually issues. I spent a childhood being told I was shy. I'm not shy. I can mix it with 'em. Just learn that you're not shy - you sound to me like you're reserved. So am I. So are a lot of us here. And it's OK. It's not only OK actually, but it's positively good. The world has belonged to the extroverted people for far too long.

You wil develop confidence. You will also stay reserved. You are amongst likeminded folk here. Be yourself, and don't worry about it. Peace.