How do you go about finding a relationship?

[Among the Sleep]

This may seem like a vague question, and I dunno how to really clarify it any more, but Ive been lonely in a romantic way for a really long time. Ive never had too much trouble making friends, my family are good people, but I feel like theres a huge gap in my life, cause having that kind of love, companionship, and all that other **** is really important to me

I went through a really long stretch where I honestly felt like no girl would ever date me, and looking back now I know that that isnt true. I know theres been a few girls that have been into me, but its always girls Im not into, and the few that Im ever into are never into me. I just really feel like its time for me to experience a real relationship, I think Im ready, but I dont even know where to start. Anyone have any advice? questions? words of encouragement?

 

[Avalon]

I think you just need an opening. Maybe at work or school?

I can describe my experience to you:
I met my first girlfriend when I was 22. I was working at a Starbucks, and she worked at the magazine shop beside us.
One day during my break, I decided to walk over buy some gum near the counter. It took a lot of courage to talk to her. I think it went something like this:

"Are you new here? I haven't seen you before"
and she said "yeah"
"well, um... I'm at the starbucks next door"
"cool"
(she smiles at me (the standard customer service smile) and I leave)

to be honest, at this point I was really nervous so I was kinda glad to just leave the magazine store too lol.

well, I went back the next day to buy some more gum. And the day after. I kept the conversations short, each time learning a bit more about her, but never in a creepy way. After she gave me my change, I would leave and never linger. I think the key is to keep it short and natural. Eventually, I found out what time her breaks were, and I would bring her a cup of coffee or hot chocolate. It took several tries, but it was worth it

 

[Among the Sleep]

I think you just need an opening. Maybe at work or school?

I can describe my experience to you:
I met my first girlfriend when I was 22. I was working at a Starbucks, and she worked at the magazine shop beside us.
One day during my break, I decided to walk over buy some gum near the counter. It took a lot of courage to talk to her. I think it went something like this:

"Are you new here? I haven't seen you before"
and she said "yeah"
"well, um... I'm at the starbucks next door"
"cool"
(she smiles at me (the standard customer service smile) and I leave)

to be honest, at this point I was really nervous so I was kinda glad to just leave the magazine store too lol.

well, I went back the next day to buy some more gum. And the day after. I kept the conversations short, each time learning a bit more about her, but never in a creepy way. After she gave me my change, I would leave and never linger. I think the key is to keep it short and natural. Eventually, I found out what time her breaks were, and I would bring her a cup of coffee or hot chocolate. It took several tries, but it was worth it

Cool story. I think my problem more than anything is that Im kind of weird, not like weird weird, but Im just kind of goofy and think a lot differently than a lot of people. So I feel like its pretty difficult to really find a girl that I relate to on that level. Ive got friends that are girls and all that, but I dont get attention from any women that Id really want to. As you basically said, I kinda just need to meet more women, but I feel like I have such a narrow taste in women and a bit of an oddball personality so Ive yet to find anything that really clicks. But **** it. At least I have more of a positive attitude towards it now than I did before...Im hoping itll come. And going back and rereading your story, I think probably what I need to do is just try to interact with girls more. I should try to make conversation with every decent looking girl that I can, provided I have an opening to do so and am not just walking up to them randomly in the mall or something. Now that Im thinking about it, I could try a little harder.

 

[blackdot]

It takes a lot of good luck and magic.

Unfortunately I can only train you on how to have bad luck.

 

[firebird85]

INVISIBLE TO FEMALES.

Welcome to the club.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Exposure...
Just tale baby steps to leaving your house more.
Interact or chit chat with people more.
The conversations don'st have to be deep.
Ovrr time ypur mind and body will adjust
To being expose to people.
Youll become more relax

---

If you get into the habit of saying hello or
Simple gesture to people, it help you
initiate converation with poeple across the
Board.....
Overtime its not going to be a big deal
For you to initiate contact to someone
Your attracted to or if a woman is attracted
To you, its not going to be a big deal
If she makes hetself avaliable to you.

---

Your not going to meet people all the time.
Its about beeing persistent and perseverance
sometimes. Sometimes it gets boring and
Seem a bit piontless...
So it knid of a commitment you gotta make to yourself.
To go out of your house everyday for a couple
Of hours and be around people in general.

I keep a positve attitude.
I had plenty of women asked me out
Or take me home with them...while
I was dating.

I also stay fit...such as jogging at a local park.
Plenty of people go exersicing on the morning
Or after work.

I also had to change my woredtob....
From my isolation hoodie into
Something more appealing.lmao

---

It might seem corny....but the wak and jog
Thing help me alot on the psychological level too....

I used to weae shades and a hoodie everywhere
I go. I looked like the fucken uni bomber.lmao

Taking the hoodie and shades off made
Me feel naked and un comfortiable.

I also notice I looked dkwn at ny sboes
Alot whike j was walking.
SO made a commjtment to myself..to retrain
Nyself to stroll and hold my head up as i walked..

 

[Lonesome Crow]

The jogging part helped me because I couldn't
Jog a mile at first. I USED THE BREAKING THINGS
INTO SMALLER PORTIONS Concept....

But i was also pushing my mind and body.
My body would be in pains as i stretch my jogging
Distance.. My mind would tell me to stop because
Of the discomfort. I used positive self talk to
obtain my jogging distance goals...

Pyschologically...my mind dose the samething
when im tryong to develop new habits...such
as meeting people. My mind will *********
me and talk me out of introducing myself to
People...The positve self talk helps me to
Take actions inspite of my fears or discomfort.
COURAGE.....OR ENCOURAGING MYSELF.

---

The sameyhing happens..
I encouraged myself to slip off her panties.
Its not a big deal after a while...
Sometimes shell slip off her panties for you
And rip your clothe off of ya.lol

 

[Sci-Fi]

Let's keep this on track.

I just really feel like its time for me to experience a real relationship, I think Im ready, but I dont even know where to start. Anyone have any advice? questions? words of encouragement?

No hating on sexes.

Among, sounds like you are on track and there have been some very good advice. Sometimes jumping off the cliff can be fun, it's what happens when you hit the water. Biggest thing is to go at your own pace, what's comfortable for you.

 

[Avalon]

I completely agree with Sci-Fi's comment.

One thing that I could add, from experience, when you approach someone you like, try not to jump into it with any expectations.

Now that I think about it, none of my relationships started out with me really expecting to have a relationship with that girl. For a not-so-socialy guy like me, starting a conversation with a stranger is nerve-wracking enough as it is, lol.

The reason is if ur mind is too set, you will subconsciously or consciously be forced to "perform" if you feel like you're trying to get her to be your girlfriend, and that can lead to weird moments, small lies, and other awkward unnatural behavior.

Instead, just start chatting. It's just more fun that way.

 

[suckaG]

Instead, just start chatting. It's just more fun that way.

sometimes easier said than done, but it's also so true. if you can get into a friendly chat zone, 'tis good times.