How do you make friends and connect with peopl?

[wadokai]

I really like talking to people and getting to know them but... i find I just don't connect to the point of friendship.

I guess... i don't know how to make friends?

Like I can talk to a group and be involved, but at the end of the day, the group of friends go on..and i'm..left out.

How do you become part of a group?

I just seem to be the random guy who always wants to hang out with them and I"m not socially awkward or anything but still .. i'm never "one of the guys"

So please share your tips on connecting with people, making friends, and i guess..belonging.

 

[bodeilla]

I'm no expert because I have no friends at the moment. It's mainly because I don't work or go anywhere. I'm on mental disability. But I can say that when I'm in a mental hospital, I know how to make friends and be a part of a group.

I listen. I care. I share. In other words, I will ask people how they are doing. I'll be supportive if they want to open up. If appropriate I'll share, but rarely. It's about them. Then you wait for them to make it about you.

We take smoke breaks. If I see someone needs a smoke, I'll share. It's bad for you I know, but when you're in the hospital, it's all you got to keep your sanity to the outside world.

I make friends. But just for the length of the hospital stay. Beyond that, it's the blind leading the blind.

We form groups and hang when we're not doing therapy. We help each other.

That's what I find helps. Being a good listener.

-Bo

 

[IgnoredOne]

Video games!

 

[Sarah_Lbnz]

Usually we bond over shared past and present self-destructive practices and thought patterns. I have no idea how other people do it. I always feel like I'm looking in at people "being normal", it looks exhausting, like they had to memorize that sh*t something crazy. When I say something, I feel like I'm saying such oddball, quirky things, people don't seem to know how to take me. Then I try to act normal and it feels either boring or like I'm a fraud.

 

[wadokai]

But see.. to share pased and present situations... you need some level of connection.

Like you and i could probably share or at least start to talk about whatever it is that happened or happens to us because we already have one line of connection: we both are on ALL forums

it's even getting to that point..that i have trouble with

 

[fuzzybutt]

I crack jokes to break the ice. I like watching comedy. If you like simple stuff you can watch some Pablo Francisco. Then for the more complicated stuff, Dylan Moran or Flight of the Concords.

Seriously, laughter is such a powerful thing. I've made a lot of friends like that. Unfortunately I don't keep them because I'm such a recluse.

 

[NotDarkYet]

I guess it's kinda like meeting a partner; you just have to wait until the right person that you click with comes along.

I agree with fuzzybutt - Being able to make people laugh is a good tool to have when making friends.

It's amazing how easy it is to make friends when you're a kid.

 

[perfanoff]

I find that I make friends with people of my profession fast and easy - there is so much to talk about.

 

[Tealeaf]

I've found that exposure helps a lot. People who find themselves together by chance or by design are more likely to become friends, in my experience. It's part of why places where people have to spend a lot of time together like school and work are popular for forming friendships in addition to the common ground. If you see each other regularly, eventually you're going to get used to each other and possibly start talking about deeper subjects.

I don't think I've ever "clicked" with someone. Trying to befriend someone I've just met always feels forced.

Groups of people do develop a kind of status quo and group atmosphere, though. Birds of a feather, etc. If you don't fit in with that it's going to be harder to merge with that group.

 

[tom_lonely]

I really like talking to people and getting to know them but... i find I just don't connect to the point of friendship.

I guess... i don't know how to make friends?

Like I can talk to a group and be involved, but at the end of the day, the group of friends go on..and i'm..left out.

How do you become part of a group?

I just seem to be the random guy who always wants to hang out with them and I"m not socially awkward or anything but still .. i'm never "one of the guys"

So please share your tips on connecting with people, making friends, and i guess..belonging.

Most friendships I've formed with people don't happen on purpose. They are accidental. You meet somebody at random and find something in the other person that you just ... enjoy. You don't question it or pick it apart. You just let it be what it is.

Asking how you can become part of a group, is like a pigeon asking how to join a herd of walruses.

There are groups of people that gather due to a common interest. What are some of your interests?

Ultimately, people will like you for who you are. Sometimes people have trouble fitting in because they do not know who they are themselves.

For example, I know for a fact that I would feel completely comfortable with any group of GO enthusiasts. How can I know this? Because I have discovered that I love playing GO! Our genuine love for the game unites us. Our passion is obvious. It is not contrived or forced or faked. It just is.

Somewhere there is a club or group for just about anything you can imagine.

Find one of these groups online...and then from there find people locally who share some of the same interests as you!