How is it possible?

[ForGrantedWife]

Just wondering if anyone else is feeling this way at all:

Do any of you feel even more lonely on this forum than you did before you joined? Like you came here to connect with someone and make an internet buddy but it's not going as well as you hoped? Deeper connections just aren't happening.

The chatting's lovely though. At least it's something.

 

[GraceBlossom]

Hi there ,

Personally speaking, I don't feel more lonely here, I am not sure why. From the day I joined I have felt like part of something nice, can't describe it. It has filled what was missing before . Maybe I didn't come with the same expectations as you, I was quite upset at the time I joined, so really didn't have any.

Maybe you haven't given it enough time. I am not good at these things, sorry. I think you make a really great addition here .

.

 

[9006]

I think it's the negative thought that you'd meet someone that you'd be compatible with, only to be disappointed makes it feel like you're more lonely, when in fact it's just the same.

Although if you never joined this site then you'd be speaking to less people, so in a way you're slightly better off.

 

[Bob Arctor]

Yeah, I used to feel that way. I suppose I've come to accept this place for what it is, to me anyway, which is basically a nice little distraction. All the lasting connections I've made have come from being in the live chatroom. Granted, live chat isn't always the best venue for finding deep friendships either, but I'd say it's closer to actual face to face interaction. It's also taken me a while to find those deeper connections. My philosophy about this place and the chat is to just try and have a few laughs and maybe make a friend or two along the way.

I certainly wouldn't depend on this place for any kind of social salvation, though, which is also an extension of how I feel about life in general; you can't depend on other people to make your life gratifying. People enter and leave our lives, they're an inconstant, unpredictable force. I believe in finding something that makes life worth living just for you.

 

[ForGrantedWife]

I think you're right Bob. And what happens in my real life is my own fault because I push people away who try to be my friend on purpose. From the time I was a baby I've lost everyone I bonded with because of the way I was raised. So very very many people from childhood on. I'm at the point where I can't let myself love anyone anymore because I know I'll get hurt when I lose them. I think it's called reactive attachment disorder. I think I have some symptoms of that.

Thanks for replying everyone, I appreciate the input.

 

[Bob Arctor]

Well, I don't pretend to understand what you're going through, but I also believe people can change for the better. If there's a behaviour you're not quite happy with, all you can do is try and find a way to work on that. Emphasis on the word work, because changing certainly isn't easy. I wish you all strength and courage, they're in you to discover.

 

[Skid Row 89]

Just wondering if anyone else is feeling this way at all:

Do any of you feel even more lonely on this forum than you did before you joined? Like you came here to connect with someone and make an internet buddy but it's not going as well as you hoped? Deeper connections just aren't happening.

The chatting's lovely though. At least it's something.

I actually made a friendship on here that I would consider pretty deep and I've chatted to plenty of others who seem like great people. I'm happy with my experience here so far I'll end my declaration of love for ALL now haha

 

[Triple Bogey]

compared to other forums, this is a lovely place, full of very nice, sweet people !

 

[ForGrantedWife]

I'm glad it's working out well for you guys. Perhaps it just takes longer than I'm giving it.

 

[Bei]

I totally get what you mean. I've gone through that exact same feeling and still do sometimes. I came here thinking it would fill the void where I felt lonely but personally I probably have to deal with that in a different way. You can make great connections with people but it can be difficult with the different time zones and all.

It really does take time though. I mean for some people. Everyone is different. I hope you do find someone to connect with that will put a smile on your face soon.

 

[kelbo]

I used to feel like that not just on these forums but on others too...it'd be like everyone else seemed really chummy with one another and I felt like an outsider. I realised that this was just my low self esteem and insecurities playing detective and making situations up that probably weren't happening.

Dont be so hard on yourself and give it time, friendships don't get made over night. I'm sure you are on your way, if not already have made some friends on here already. Just give it time and don't give up x

 

[blacksmith205]

I've been part of this forum for a few days. So I don't feel any different thus far. Of course working nights and lots of over time doesn't help me get to know people. I like the games area. Its been fun!

 

[1000lifetimes]

I get what you mean - misery loves company I guess.

I get worried that I've come to this site to find a cure, but instead find that I'm addicted to the disease (that is being miserable/alone).

Everyone here is great...I love engaging in conversations - I feel like I can be honest here whereas in the regular day-to-day I have to be 'on my best behavior' . I suppose finding out that others are miserable too makes me feel like I'm not that messed up (or at least other people figured out how to be messed up too)...that you're not alone I suppose.

 

[jzinsky]

To everyone who's recently joined and feels worse for it. It takes time. I joined last january, felt worse for it after a month or so and almost disappeared. I've dipped in and out all year flicking through threads and adding my 2c where I felt it was relavent. It's only been this week I feel I've got a connection with a few people on here and hopefully it'll evolve into something great. So hang in there and you never know

 

[ladyforsaken]

Just wondering if anyone else is feeling this way at all:

Do any of you feel even more lonely on this forum than you did before you joined? Like you came here to connect with someone and make an internet buddy but it's not going as well as you hoped? Deeper connections just aren't happening.

The chatting's lovely though. At least it's something.

When I first joined, yes.. but after awhile after getting to know people.. not very lonely. Although there are people I'd hope to form deeper connections with, but doesn't really happen like you say.. I guess it just depends on luck and whether we get along well or not. So far, the forum's been a pretty positive experience for me.

 

[Alienated]

It's all a illusion, people are the same everywhere. EMPTY and devoid of any humanity... Lost in a vacuum of self delusion.

 

[jzinsky]

It's all a illusion, people are the same everywhere. EMPTY and devoid of any humanity... Lost in a vacuum of self delusion.

Well that's a bit harsh! Either that or I've misunderstood

 

[Alienated]

No you didn't and I am as sincere as it get's... I have had it. and I am sick of imitations.

 

[ForGrantedWife]

I tried to be your friend Alienated but I feel I'm not exactly your cup of tea. That's ok though, you can't win them all. I thought you were talking to someone new you liked? What happened to that?

 

[Alienated]

I'm talking about society as a whole, it's not directed and the people here. But we are no different or better than others, thinking that would be self delusional, wouldn't it ? It's just my priorities are different than most here, and that's why I can't find relief from any forum.... Don't take it personally.....

What I meant ( Which should have been asked) But NO attempt to understand where I was coming from, neither from him or anyone.

If people are so lonely ? Why hide behind a lap top, all alone ? I don't know about you, but I am a human and need human companionship, not a keyboard. And that's what I meant by empty and devoid of humanity and imitation.

So if you want to feel what you want to feel, go right ahead... So twist it anyway you want. But next time... Just try asking. And learn to admit error.