I would suggest tiny baby steps to start growing.
I am very introverted as well. When I was young I was so quiet and never initiated anything.
Now I am in my 40s and I am considered "vivacious" and sociable! Yes, I am still introverted and need LOTS of quiet/"me" time but now I can honestly say I love to chit chat, make conversation, make new connections, LISTEN, share stories, laugh, create parties (I have my own meet up group). It's made my life fuller and more fun while still being an introvert.
But it took time and risk to get to this place. Oh, also something very important...if you seek out others with similar interests, values...you are more likely to get out of your shell. I love books and art, for example. I am not a "partier" and have never been my whole life. I hang out with people who feel the same or are on a similar wavelength thus I feel more comfortable. You need to connect with other introverts...they are out there.
When I was younger it was harder because I was forced, or didn't find, others similar to me. So I always felt this pressure to "party" or be something I was not. Once that is removed it does get easier and easier to take a risk and grow. Heck I don't even go to bars because I don't drink...so if you outside the mainstream you have to find a "stream" that fits you.
I also discovered that it's better to be a "light" person instead of a heavy person. Duh! When I was a young person I think I was so sad from family issues and self esteem issues I was a "downer". This does not attract healthy, fun, friendships! It took me awhile to grow into my new self...the new self that does feel and does feel sad but the self that also loves to be light, fun, happy and laugh. You make bonds more via fun rather than sadness (even though the other understands your sadness).
jayme89 said:
Well, here's something I learned about the qualities of a good friend. 1) they have the ability not to gossip and 2) when you talk, they listen to what you say. This is what you should look for in friends and also traits that you should possess to be a good friend to others. If you gossip about someone else to me, who's to say you wouldn't say those things about me to someone else, right? And a friend who goes on and on about their life and problems and never listens to what you say is a leech. Not worth anyones time or energy.
Next, people are more likely to want to talk to someone that looks approachable. Smiling helps with approachability. Many shy people have that default sad face or frown (unconscious of course) which doesn't make others want to come up to them.
Also, ask others questions. Get them talking. People love to talk about themselves! I learned this awhile ago and its helped me improve how I appear to others. You don't have to be a chatterbox and ramble on to get others to like you, in fact that does the opposite (you may come across as obnoxious). So when you're with another person just try to get them talking by asking open ended questions. You'll trick them into thinking you are a great conversationalist! Plus, you'll show them that you're a great listener making them more likely to want to talk to you again.
These are just ways to improve you're approachability and conversation skills with others so you can start forming more connections. Remember, you can't make anyone be your friend and you shouldn't try to. True friendships take a lot of time.
