Hurt by close friend

[edamame721]

A few weeks ago, I tried to be supportive of my friend who was going through a rough time. First, she was mad at me for not e-mailing her when she wrote (I had waited one day to call, she exaggerated and said it was days) and then she admitted she didn't want to actually see me because she thought I would pull her into a mutual wallow of self-pity in order to get "close" to her.

It really hurt me that she thought I would hurt and use her. I'm not in a good situation myself, but I always try to be positive for my friends when they need it. I've known this woman for 10+ years. We've been drifting apart and I tried to reach out in very innocuous ways, offering to do an activity together, making small talk. I've even been good about not telling all my worries to her so she wouldn't get my negativity.

I've become depressed because I can't discuss it with my other friend (who is closer to her) and my family doesn't seem to understand how much this affected me. Maybe I was the weakest link in her support system (not her husband, sister, or other friend) and she decided to lash out at me. I don't know. I just really need a hug. I don't think I'm a bad person. I don't think I'm a bad friend. I just suddenly feel very adrift and isolated.

 

[Lilianna]

Sending you a big warm ((((HUG))))

 

[ladyforsaken]

edamame, let me assure you, you're not a bad friend. *BIG HUG*

Some people do not know how to appreciate the things people do for them. *shrugs* That's just how people are sometimes. Hey, if you ever feel like you need to talk things out or unload your worries, don't hesitate to PM me all right? You sound like a really good friend and I think anyone would deserve a listening ear sometimes. My PM doors are open.

Take care now. *hugs*

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Sorry about that...I had friends done worst.
With friends like that...who the hell needs enemies.lol

I do have a childhood friend. He's almost like a brother to me.
Even his mother calls me her second son....
We drifted apart during the years but he will always be my friend no matter what.
Recently he was there for me...as I was there for him.
But after a while I couldnt be around him for too long nor rely on him for anything.
He'll simply turn on a dime or go on a binge. He's life is very unmanageable.
He's not responsible at all. Sometimes he can become very selffish, depressed
Becuase his always drunk or sleeping it off.

He's simply not well nor wish to get well. Bascailly he became an alcoholic.
No matter how much his own mother had tried to reached out to him by attending
conseling, recovery meetings...ect.

It's sad becuase he's mother is get very old. She has a multimillion dallor bussiness
that he needs to take over or attend to....But he's spoil or by the grace of his mother's
love he's not living out on the streets. She only wishes her son to get well.
And the bussiness dosnt require of him to do much. He just needs to learn the ropes
and manage it. She's currently doing it herself. it's not that difficult.

He has everything...yet he has nothing becusase he's all ****** up.
He cant even get dates or girls. Thats how bad off he his.
No women wants to be his maid or be constantly picking up his mess. Plus deal
with a drunk. Plus most people dont hang out for too long with him either....
Not unless they're using him or taking advantage of him.

Anyways...I have to keep boundaies with him. I cant blame myself.
We still talk becuase we're like bothers...but I know I cant fix him.

 

[edamame721]

Hi, I just wanted to give everyone an update on the situation I mentioned above a few months ago. I just recently went to a party for the friend I mentioned. I made nice with the guests. I felt I made an effort. One day later, she e-mails me and says I've ruined her party with my "bad mood," and that I've been a "bad friend." I'm done. I just really am. Thank you for everyone's input.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I'm sorry to hear about that. But you know it for yourself that you made an effort and that's what's important here.

I hope you meant you're done with your friend. Not worth to be friends with someone who just can't seem to appreciate you, edamame. Hope you're all right. *hugs*

 

[edamame721]

Thanks ladyforsaken. I did mean not being her friend anymore. She's finally feeling some remorse now that I've walked away but I know I have to keep my heart stoic.

 

[isthatso]

Thanks ladyforsaken. I did mean not being her friend anymore. She's finally feeling some remorse now that I've walked away but I know I have to keep my heart stoic.

off topic...love your signature

 

[ladyforsaken]

Thanks ladyforsaken. I did mean not being her friend anymore. She's finally feeling some remorse now that I've walked away but I know I have to keep my heart stoic.

Good and yes, move on. She doesn't deserve your time and effort as you've wasted so much on her already. Take care, hugs!