I cried and cried and cried.

[M_also_lonely]

What a big loser am I, I did the thing I will never forget. Probably this was a test, someone wanted to test me and I failed. And I will regret it forever.

His image doesn't leave my mind. I am frightened, worried, and so on. I can't explain. How simple was he, and look at his attitude, he didn't ask me for money, he simply asked me to polish my shoes, and said, he had no money so that h could get some food. He could've begged for money, but he didn't. He offered me service, even in such a poor situation.
His eyes were full of tears and so were mine. I was staring at him. His torn clothes, his poor face, a brush in one hand and a dirty cloth in the other. He requested me several times to get my shoes polished, I didn't know what to say. I didn't want him to bow down to me like a slave, so I refused. I could have simply given him some money, but I didn't .Why???? I was lost in thoughts. Why didn't I think about money when I just had lunch in a fine restaurant? But I had double thoughts of giving him money when it was just a matter of 10 rupees, which is just 0.15 dollars? Someone please kill me for this.

On my was back home, I didn't realize that I was crying. I rushed to my home and locked the room and cried, for around 3-4 hours, just for that guy. What will happen to him? How many people will abuse him and insult him? Did he get something to eat today? Why did I not help him even if I wanted to? This has never happened to me. I just don't know why I didn't do it. I still cry for him, and don't know what can satisfy me, because now no matter how many poor people I help, I can't let go of this incident. Please help.

 

[Serenia]

Is there nonway you could go back, and purchase some food for him. A warm meal and a large drink, and maybe some more items that might last.

 

[BadGuy]

could have ...should have ...would have ??????
unfortunately life has programmed us to fear others ...think they are looking to take advantage or have other motives
It sounds like your kind and do help others
I doesnt matter what you do you will never be able to help everyone

I have been in the situation of coming across someone crying
A lady at a hwy exit asking for food ...I crossed the street and bought 2 sandwiches and asked the staff to take the food to her ...they did ...I couldnt deal with the tears

 

[M_also_lonely]

Is there nonway you could go back, and purchase some food for him. A warm meal and a large drink, and maybe some more items that might last.

I do it everytime. I was just so lost in thinking about his life and I dont know why, but this happened. I will regret it forever.

 

[Minus]

It sounds like you are being too hard on yourself. At times we have second thoughts about how we handled something. We learn from it for the next time the situation presents it's self.

 

[Lacrecia]

What will happen to him? How many people will abuse him and insult him? Did he get something to eat today?

this is the kind of questions that bug me a lot when I just see someone in that state. One of the reasons why i dont like to leave home to go eat somewhere or something is to have to deal with this sort of situation.

 

[bluefox]

You didn't do anything wrong. It is an awful feeling though and I think about it too when I pass by people in that situation. If you're still thinking about, maybe go back and see if they show up again or get involved with or try to start some kind of community program?

 

[M_also_lonely]

Yesterday I saw a documentary about North Korea, where a 20 year old girl is shown collecting grass to sell. The guide asks her if she has food or not. The way she refuses sent chills. How poor is she. And we can do nothing for her. She probably doesn't have parents.
I think now I know the purpose of my life. And the sacrifices needed to accomplish it. But that doesn't make anything easier. It gets worse when you dig into their lives.