Abit about me, I'll try not to drag on... as I already feel like a sad case for coming on here but as a last resort desperation is certainly setting in and is getting to me,
I'm 24 live in essex , england I'm an only child brought up in london did not really have many freinds there.. got bullied a lot all my childhood, was a very racial area in east london where I grew up so I kept myself to myself with little to no friends. My parents decide to move to essex when I was13 halfway through schooling which kind of messed it up for me going to school lerning a completely different set of lessons etc .. plus moving schools halfway into schooling everybody had made their friends and made their groups so I was singled out... I eventually got bulied, then became a daily thing.. which to this day has made me a better person, throughout school I had one close friend to which when I was 18 at a houseparty he was drunk and started crying and he told me the only reason he was friends with me was because he fancied me ...well that was the end of that,
Being an only child has had a big effect on me.. I still live with my parents, we dont get on... on a daily basis they annoy me, I'm not childish they really are bad people, they swear and shout and moan about everything and anything, its a constant negativity around the house and i get criticised about everything, even about being bullied I would get comments like "it must be your fault" or 'what you want me to do about it" all I wanted was someone to talk too someone to listen to me.
Having no friends and being surrounded in such a negative invironment I had to find a realese, at the age of 17 I began to drink heavily I also suffered extreme anxiety from the ages of 18 to 23 last year , I have been to counselling for my anxiety and got diagnosed with an anxiety disorder to which my parents don't believe such thing exsists.
My anxiety is under control now but i am still drinking but not as much as I was a few years ago.
I have only ever had one serious relationship but that ended after six months, I'm not ugly and have a great personality ok I'm abit overweight but i cant see why I can't manage to get a girlfriend now.
I am not the typical loner... I love to socialise and meet new people and I am very popular person now in my town I can go to any pub in my town and I will know some people to talk too... and I can go shopping or whatever and people will see me or whatever but the problem with this is these people are not 'friends" they are people I know from pub or work etc, I have no friends... no one close to me, no one to turn too, no one to talk too about private things with.. nobody to call if i need help or to chat with..I am also finding thelack of female affection in my life hard to cope with..
I do work.. in a pub I do security, so I get to talk to loads of people and I see loads of people happy with friends, big groups of friends that I wish i had, I see couples happily having a good night
This is what I am missing in my life, people close to connect with..
My aim now is to get full time work, and move out....
Don't know why I can't manage to fine friend or a girlfriend I'm socialble I do want friendship and I'm a nice person.
Sorry for the rant, nice to meet you all
I'm 24 live in essex , england I'm an only child brought up in london did not really have many freinds there.. got bullied a lot all my childhood, was a very racial area in east london where I grew up so I kept myself to myself with little to no friends. My parents decide to move to essex when I was13 halfway through schooling which kind of messed it up for me going to school lerning a completely different set of lessons etc .. plus moving schools halfway into schooling everybody had made their friends and made their groups so I was singled out... I eventually got bulied, then became a daily thing.. which to this day has made me a better person, throughout school I had one close friend to which when I was 18 at a houseparty he was drunk and started crying and he told me the only reason he was friends with me was because he fancied me ...well that was the end of that,
Being an only child has had a big effect on me.. I still live with my parents, we dont get on... on a daily basis they annoy me, I'm not childish they really are bad people, they swear and shout and moan about everything and anything, its a constant negativity around the house and i get criticised about everything, even about being bullied I would get comments like "it must be your fault" or 'what you want me to do about it" all I wanted was someone to talk too someone to listen to me.
Having no friends and being surrounded in such a negative invironment I had to find a realese, at the age of 17 I began to drink heavily I also suffered extreme anxiety from the ages of 18 to 23 last year , I have been to counselling for my anxiety and got diagnosed with an anxiety disorder to which my parents don't believe such thing exsists.
My anxiety is under control now but i am still drinking but not as much as I was a few years ago.
I have only ever had one serious relationship but that ended after six months, I'm not ugly and have a great personality ok I'm abit overweight but i cant see why I can't manage to get a girlfriend now.
I am not the typical loner... I love to socialise and meet new people and I am very popular person now in my town I can go to any pub in my town and I will know some people to talk too... and I can go shopping or whatever and people will see me or whatever but the problem with this is these people are not 'friends" they are people I know from pub or work etc, I have no friends... no one close to me, no one to turn too, no one to talk too about private things with.. nobody to call if i need help or to chat with..I am also finding thelack of female affection in my life hard to cope with..
I do work.. in a pub I do security, so I get to talk to loads of people and I see loads of people happy with friends, big groups of friends that I wish i had, I see couples happily having a good night
This is what I am missing in my life, people close to connect with..
My aim now is to get full time work, and move out....
Don't know why I can't manage to fine friend or a girlfriend I'm socialble I do want friendship and I'm a nice person.
Sorry for the rant, nice to meet you all
