I feel like i've been cursed on my birth.

[randomdude]

I am 18 years old male. I was always grouped against, always regardless of if i was right or wrong. Went through 3 years lasting depression was close to suicide few times. Anxious since i know myself. Bullied for 3 years, laughed at because i had no money to buy new clothes and shoes. Laughed at because i couldn't do a single pullup,pushup nor chinup, called a ****** constantly. Physically threatened once in a while and i had to fight 3 times now. Last year i finally took a little breath of life meaning that i ended my long lasting depression i made few friends got my frist gf which i was in love with(bearly found strengt to dump her she was a most destructive person ever). Changed my way of education in a way that i don't have to go to school everyday just few times monthly. Also started going out alot, but still my past haunts me and i sometimes daydream my bad past moments and i want to cry. What did i ever do deserve a life like this??

 

[Sigma]

People treat you like crap because you don't fit the "average joe" criteria.
People who are different get harassed or ignored, depending on the person, you portrayed a very feeble persona in your post and your peers picked up on that and treated you accordingly.
I went through a lot of what you described until at one point I snapped and made it very clear I wasn't gonna take anymore crap from people (in a way that I sort of regret now) after which the behavior of people around me changed from harassment to ignoring.
I learned to do the same, eventually none of it even bothered me anymore. "If someone treats you like crap for no good reason, why should you care what they think?" I figured.
Find people in your school who don't follow the herd like a mindless moron, there's bound to be a few decent human beings around there somewhere.

 

[Skid Row 89]

You're not giving yourself enough credit, you made it through the bullying! It's all just bad memories now, they'll fade away. Think of it as a rough patch and move on, that's what I'm trying to do in my case. You're not alone.

 

[purplebutterfly]

i have had nasty memories they just hit me suddenly and i am there again going through it in my head... its called ptsd do u think u could have that too? they have given me a series of medications to put it right put me in therapy but nothing helped until iv started on my journey to inner peace just take deep breaths and learn to ground urself in this moment the past is gone now n u are the only one hurting urself... hope this helps

 

[Badjedidude]

There are no such things as curses.

You have the choice to face your prospects with resolution and stubbornnes, or you can roll over and moan about fate and cry yourself to death.

Stand strong, man.

 

[ladyforsaken]

There are no such things as curses.

You have the choice to face your prospects with resolution and stubbornnes, or you can roll over and moan about fate and cry yourself to death.

Stand strong, man.

This.

You're a good person, randomdude. You can change things around, if you try hard enough and be willing to let it happen.

 

[randomdude]

Thanks for your time, i really appreciate your answers.