I had nothing to say....

[M_also_lonely]

I have been learning a lot these days. To improve myself. To change my behavior and to become a better person. I came to know that meeting people and talking to them would help me much so that I could increase my confidence. And I was chatting with one of my old neighbors on Facebook. We had not met since long. She was in my school previously and of my age. I asked her to meet.
First, let me tell you, there is nothing like I have feelings for her.I just wanted to meet becsuse I could learn something about how to talk (not by asking her, but by trying and experiencing)
She was ready. We met at a cafe. We talked about 10-12 minutes. Then she wad looking into my eyes and saying "say else" ...And after 2-3 minutes I would start a topic. This happened a few times. I sensed that she is getting bored. But still I tried finding something to talk. Ad I had nothing to say, it became ackward. A few minutes later, we decided to leave.

I was feeling embarrassed and like a looser. At night I saw her status said "had a really boring day with boring people" When I sent her a message about what happened, she said "Nothing, its not about you. Don't ask" I asked her,".Can we meet again sometime? " She said "No, I am busy" I said "It was nice meeting you" She never replied.....


So I came to know that I am a boring person. So tell me how to not be boring and how to have a lot to talk. I always wonder how do friends talk to each other for hours. I mean what are the topics. And more importantly, WHY DO THEY KNOW ABOUT THESE TOPICS (and whatever they talk) AND WHY I DON'T???


PLEASE, "NO "PITY ON ME. ("ohh she was rude, mean, etc.she treated u badly) Tell me the solution. And answer my questions in the above para. And how to have a lot to talk like you people have.


And please dont say "Even we are like u, we talk the same rubbish again. Then why would she be bored of me!!!

 

[Tiina63]

Conversations should be two way-it sounds as though she left you to do all the work of carrying the conversation while she just sat there waiting for you to entertain her. I have met a lot of people like this and being with them feels so awkward and stressful. I think, like me, you need to be with people who will do some of the work in keeping a conversation going. You did absolutely nothing wrong. Keep trying to meet people and hopefully you will find people who are on your wavelength and who will take their turn at making conversation and not leave it all down to you.

 

[HoodedMonk]

I am not pitying you when I say this. She should not have made that status update. It was completely unneccesary.

 

[VanillaCreme]

It sounds like she doesn't want to talk to you. There is no solution to that. My advice would be to leave her alone, before it gets worse, because you can't make people automatically like you and want to talk to you.

 

[Despicable Me]

Like you already know, M, you just need the experience. Just keep trying. You did good. Even if she might have thought you were boring, that's just one girl out of many.

If you want things to discuss, do you have any hobbies? Even if you don't, let the girl talk and just listen maybe. Ask questions about her and her interests next time. Ask things like what she likes to do, what kind of music she likes, what she wants to do with her life someday, etc. Take an actual interest in her life and you'll have more than enough to talk about for at least the first time you hang out. Even if you don't really say much, and you just listen and ask questions, a lot of people really like that.

But you'll learn all that with experience. Just keep trying. Don't let this one time get you down.

 

[Regumika]

M, just tell yourself that you will not be friends with every person you come across. That's impossible. For every "friend" a person has, there is someone that does not care. Think of an actor that you dislike. Do you know how many people like them? But you, you don't like the actor. No matter what kind of person you are, you can't win everyone.

It just so happened that she is one of those that will never like you. All you have to do is ignore those people and find those that WOULD like you. To do that, the only way is to talk to more people. "Okay, that person shows no interest, that one talked back a few times, this other one actually asked me questions." You need to be discerning and also share stuff about yourself. There will also be times where you find someone else boring, and it's absolutely normal. You can't be friends with everyone. You can be friendly, just not friends.

 

[M_also_lonely]

Again I say, I dont want to know that she was didn't want to talk to me....All I want to know is how come do you have a lot to talk about and how can I have it too??? And how to start more informal conversations so thay I can get closer and understand the person and be friends with him/her??

 

[Mouse]

Some girls just don't want to talk, and it's no use getting yourself into knots about them. Best thing you can do is know that you tried, but move on. As for experience, don't worry about that. Experience comes with time.

Sometimes, smiling at a girl can help. Like in the school canteen I remember smiling at a girl I saw eating alone and asked if I could join her. She said yes, but I let her lead the conversation because it seemed easier just to make light banter. Other times when words don't come easy, I found just saying, "I'm a bit shy and forgive me, but I don't know what to say at the moment." Girls appreciate honesty.

 

[Regumika]

Again I say, I dont want to know that she was didn't want to talk to me....All I want to know is how come do you have a lot to talk about and how can I have it too??? And how to start more informal conversations so thay I can get closer and understand the person and be friends with him/her??

You already know how to talk about stuff and hold an informal conversation. I can prove it. Have an informal conversation with me right here. What are your hobbies? Tell me about one of them. And don't just say like "Music." Tell me about what kind of music you like, why you like them, what parts of songs do you focus on.

You will realize that if you can't find what to say about your topic, it's because you have a mental block that already decided "he doesn't want to listen, so why talk about it."