I HATE this thing they call life!!!!! Why am I even here. It can't be just to hurt and be unstable

[MindyT]

Hi I'm new here. I have a list of medical conditions that some can not be cured or treated, and some can. I have GI problems,a handful of menatal health disorders and non cancerous extremely painful turmors of the skin on my entire right leg. For years now I have been going to every and any specialist I can to get help buyt my combination of conditions is so rare that they can't medicate my Bipolar disorder with out aggravating my GI condition. So no Bipolar meds for me cause I have tried them all and they interfere with my GI problems. The doctored have declared me and my condition as incurable and not treatable. I tried applying for disability and they denied me. Now I am appealing it , but my mental health providers office policy is to not get involved ( I need them to fill out a form for the appeals process, which they denied) so if it is already know that my issues are untreatable and incurable, that leaves me wondering how am I supposed to live. It almost feels like Social Security Disability wants me to just kill myself so they don't have to help. Which I won't do because I don't want to leave my family behind wondering if they could have done more to save me. But I am circling the drain of a very dark place and with no one able/ willing to help me. I don't want to do this anymore, I'm tired of feeling the way I feel and always being in pain. I'm tired of running from doctor to doctor looking for help only to find out no one can or will help me. I just feel like at this point dying would solve all my problems. Well except for the leaving my family behind part, but right now that's the least of my worries. I simply need someone who is in a position to help to do just that. Step up and help me. Medical Science hasn't studied my combination of problems and until they do there is nothing I can do. And I can't live with that anymore. I lost all hope of ever having anything that resembles a normal life and I'm losing faith in the medical world or anyone else ever helping me. Being dead would just be a lot easier. But no worries I couldn't kill myself even if I wanted to.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Welcome to the forum

First thing that popped (no pun intended) into my head is to tell you you should go see Dr Pimple Popper. She seems to be pretty damn good.

Aside from that, have you looked into natural remedies for anything?

As for Social Security, they literally deny 99% of cases the first time or two. Even people who have a clear cut case will be denied and have to go through the appeal process. I think that's their way of weeding out people who actually need it, but don't want to jump through hoops to get it or something so they don't have to pay out as much. I don't know, but keep trying. I will say that it would be A LOT easier if you get a lawyer that specializes in that. They can also get the mental health people to give what you need. I can't say much about filling out a form, but they can't keep your medical records from you. You are entitled to see/have copies of everything. But yeah, if you don't have a lawyer, I would maybe look around and talk to some. Most have a free consult and they will tell you your chances of getting it

 

[Finished]

Welcome to the forums! I'm am so sorry that you are having to deal with so much. In your case it may be best to get a Social Security Disability attorney. Let them deal with the government. That's what you need. They usually take a cut of whatever you get for the first year. That's how it was the last time I looked into it. They are greedy so they will do whatever they can to get you approved so they get paid. Don't get one that you have to pay every step of the way. Don't get one that you have to pay up front either.

As far as the medical stuff. That's really tough. The different specialists don't care what the other specialists do. IMO, you need a really good primary care doctor that actually cares about you. That person would coordinate with all the other doctors to make sure the different cures mostly work together. You need that doctor in your corner. If I were you, I would keep searching until I found a good primary care doctor. Might help to ask other people for recommendations.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Yeah, I would suggest disability lawyer shopping as well. It sounds like you have a pretty strong case already, considering you have multiple conditions. And what Callie said is true, it's very rare, that first time applicants will be accepted; any lawyer will tell you that as well.

I don't get the Dr. Pimple Popper reference Callie?

Other than that, it can help to some degree to take refuge in one's faith, when there is nothing left to do but wait. I meditate from time to time, and some times it helps in detaching my mind from overbearing problems.

I have a small collection of fortunes from fortune cookies I save, heh. One of them says: "Action is worries worst enemy." So, take action on what is actionable, and learn to discipline your mind for things that are out of your control. If you can do that, it will help you a lot, going forward in the future, as much in life is out of our control.

I think reading is great refuge as well, and is something that is accessible to almost anyone in life, no matter their circumstances. Non-fiction is a great way to improve one's learnedness, fiction is a great escape and a way to live vicariously that which is often illusive in reality. We live in a time where virtually any degree of knowledge is at our fingertips too, so acquiring a skill can be enjoyable, fun, and a great way to express one's self. Learning to write, speak a new language, math, electricity, chemistry, physics, a musical instrument, etc.. etc. etc.. It can be hard to do any of that when one's mind is overly distressed and distracted by pains of life; but, they can also be distractions from the useless distractions of life.

Anyway, good luck. welcome to the forum. Be strong, have faith, and have hope. And if you can't do that, hope for the hope to have the faith in your strength to do what must be done. I liked hearing you say it's time for other's to help, I think some times we need to have faith that the universe, will come to our aid once in a while; seems it's always so busy working against us and breaking us down, heh. It seems that can't always be so.

Dr. Lisa Sanders, is pretty interesting. She had a show on netflix a while back, it might still be on there. You can research into her a bit. She came up with the idea of crowdsourcing solutions for medical mysteries, to help patients get a diagnosis and get healed. If nothing else, the show is pretty interesting. As for myself, I've perused pubmed from time to time. I don't go heavy into the research; but, I've often learned quite a lot there, often more so than the people that get paid to, 'treat,' me. It can be frustrating to know that you know stuff the professionals don't, some times, and then be stuck with their ignorance; but, I'd rather know than not know. Any true professional in their capacity would take what knowledge they didn't know from me, and use it if they could, rather than doubt me, and then **** off to their own day to day ******** without a second thought. heh.

Knowing is half the battle, they say, heh. So, again, good luck.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I don't get the Dr. Pimple Popper reference Callie?

The non cancerous tumors on her legs. I've seen several episodes that she had to work around a patients other conditions/meds.

 

[Fragilegirl]

Hi Mindy, welcome. I understand how you feel. I’ve been feeling the same Way recently. I too have several health conditions that make functioning difficult. I often feel as if I’m just waiting for this to be over. I know that’s not a healthy feeling so I am thinking of going to therapy. as far as the doctors, If they are not listening to you or taking your pain seriously get new doctors. That’s the best advice I can give you. When you are in this kind of discomfort you cannot be brushed off as if what you’re going through doesn't matter. Take your records with you. you have a well documented case of disability. Don’t give up on trying to get disability. I agree they almost hope you will give up by denying your claims the first time. Keep pushing for it. There are so many people out there who get it who don’t deserve it. But you need it so you should fight for it. I know that a disability attorney is probably the way to go but I would hate for you to have to give them any money. Maybe try one more time with a different Doctor Who is willing to help fight for you. I wish you luck. And I hope you feel better soon. You are blessed to have family that love you. I am envious of that.

 

[Sir Joseph]

MindyT, your condition and situation is rightfully distressing. I'm in no position to rescue you but will offer my encouragement and comments along with the others here.

I agree with their assessment of getting social security disability since I saw my neighbor fight the same battle. It ultimately took an attorney which cost money, but in the end proved successful. I think such attorneys work on a cost basis of payment from future SS derived income only if they win the case. So, if you lose your appeal, take the next step and remain determined and optimistic.
I agree with trying different doctors for your ailments, but I also believe that one needs to do their own on-line research to find alternative treatments when traditional western methods fail. It can be frustrating pursuing and failing one idea after another, but there may be one approach that works for you that no traditional doctor would ever prescribe, be it acupuncture, super dieting, a cocktail of supplements, a DNA injection, or multitude of other hit and miss unconventional treatment methods. Be open minded, creative, and persistent. You may or may not find a cure or treatment, but there are a lot of options out there to experiment with before accepting your current condition as permanent.

Keep in mind, particularly during any search for alternative or radical treatment methods, that you're not confined to the U.S. If you find something hopeful that's expensive stateside or not covered by insurance, then look for it in Mexico first, then other countries that offer good care at bargain prices. I do almost all of my dental care now overseas and half of my medical care - at prices about 1/3rd of the U.S. - and that's at the best places offering premium care.

If you know and love the Lord, I trust you're already praying desperately for healing. If you don't, then it'd be a good time to assess your faith. Either way, here's an interesting, entertaining, excellent video sermon to help encourage you in this matter.

 

[M_also_lonely]

Its really hard to feel the pain of someone going through possibly untreatable physical issues.
But I can assure you that most people who don't suffer from these, aren't suffering any less either.
Yes, life would probably be much easier without the physical condition, but most people do not feel grateful to what they have and thus suffer as much.

 

[Rvanson]

MindyT, your condition and situation is rightfully distressing. I'm in no position to rescue you but will offer my encouragement and comments along with the others here.

I agree with their assessment of getting social security disability since I saw my neighbor fight the same battle. It ultimately took an attorney which cost money, but in the end proved successful. I think such attorneys work on a cost basis of payment from future SS derived income only if they win the case. So, if you lose your appeal, take the next step and remain determined and optimistic.
I agree with trying different doctors for your ailments, but I also believe that one needs to do their own on-line research to find alternative treatments when traditional western methods fail. It can be frustrating pursuing and failing one idea after another, but there may be one approach that works for you that no traditional doctor would ever prescribe, be it acupuncture, super dieting, a cocktail of supplements, a DNA injection, or multitude of other hit and miss unconventional treatment methods. Be open minded, creative, and persistent. You may or may not find a cure or treatment, but there are a lot of options out there to experiment with before accepting your current condition as permanent.

Keep in mind, particularly during any search for alternative or radical treatment methods, that you're not confined to the U.S. If you find something hopeful that's expensive stateside or not covered by insurance, then look for it in Mexico first, then other countries that offer good care at bargain prices. I do almost all of my dental care now overseas and half of my medical care - at prices about 1/3rd of the U.S. - and that's at the best places offering premium care.

If you know and love the Lord, I trust you're already praying desperately for healing. If you don't, then it'd be a good time to assess your faith. Either way, here's an interesting, entertaining, excellent video sermon to help encourage you in this matter.

Thanks for that video, Sir Joseph. It was very inspiring to me. I have suffered from Myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS) since I was just about to turn 40, 26 years ago. I've never blamed God for that, and have treated it mostly with vitamins and other legal substances and compared to some people, even teenagers, I am not doing so bad at 66. At least I had almost 40 years with lots of energy and endurance. I feel so bad about young people who develop this condition, which most M.D.'s know nothing about. If it were not for the fact that I believe in God, I'd likely suicide as so many people do, for various reasons beyond this one. BTW, my father was named Joseph, and it's my middle name as well. He, too, was a believer in God and I have his old Bible right here, as he passed on to Heaven 13 years ago at the age of 95. May God bless you, Sir Joseph!

 

[Adamridge79]

So many words...