I just can't see it...

[Among the Sleep]

Maybe it's just depression. Maybe it's just suburban melodrama. But it AMAZES me to think that I could be happy one day. To think that one day I could be a productive, well-adjusted, reasonably happy person seems so far-fetched, because it's so far from where I am now. I mean, never say never. But I dunno. Maybe the present wouldn't be so hard if the future didn't look so bleak. I turned 23 today (July 4th). I feel like my best days are way gone. It's all over.

---

I need to find something that makes me happy. I don't know what it is. But I don't have it.

 

[Barbaloot]

Your best days aren't behind you, you just have to keep looking. There is too much in the world and far too many opportunities for anyone your age to have their best days behind them.

I've always believed if someone has absolutely no idea what makes them happy or what they want to do with themselves, they should turn their time, their energy into helping others through volunteer work. Not only will it help those in need, be they human or animal, but it can help put a lot into perspective and even possibly help you find something you are passionate about. And, it's certainly a lot more productive than sitting around simply not knowing what to do with your life.


BTW, Happy Birthday.

 

[Among the Sleep]

Your best days aren't behind you, you just have to keep looking. There is too much in the world and far too many opportunities for anyone your age to have their best days behind them.

I've always believed if someone has absolutely no idea what makes them happy or what they want to do with themselves, they should turn their time, their energy into helping others through volunteer work. Not only will it help those in need, be they human or animal, but it can help put a lot into perspective and even possibly help you find something you are passionate about. And, it's certainly a lot more productive than sitting around simply not knowing what to do with your life.


BTW, Happy Birthday.

Thanks

And yeah, I mean, you're right. I've sort of always had the idea in my head that I want my eventual career path to involve helping people in some way. I'm just not entirely sure I'm cut out for it. I'm a college dropout, I wouldn't consider myself to be too intelligent. I don't have bad people skills, I make friends easily enough, but I'm shy at first and have some anxiety issues that make it kinda hard to connect with people in certain ways. I don't know what kind of volunteer work is available. But I know I'm really lazy and selfish with my time and just don't think I would actually go out of my way to do things like that.

Like I said...I gotta find something that makes me happy. I've got a good family (though we're not close), I've got plenty of friends. Somehow I just don't get any nourishment from it, because I'm romantically lonely, down on myself all the time and have trouble viewing myself as a successful person in the world, I just don't see it. And nobody can figure that out for me. But I don't know how to figure it out for myself either, and I've been trying for a while. It's been years since I've felt like the good in life has outweighed the bad, or even really came close.

And ya know, sometimes I feel like I'm depressed all the time cause it's just easier. It's my default setting. And maybe part of my problem is that I've spent such a significant portion of my life being miserable that there's a certain comfort in it. Just kind of drains my motivation to try to make things better, but I wouldn't know where to start anyways because I know I have a lot of good things. I'm overly negative, and a complete bummer :club:

 

[Barbaloot]

You just have to think about what you like and what you're interested in, whether it's animals, children, working with the homeless, the impoverished, working with permaculture, etc. Volunteer work will certainly provide you opportunities to meet people, maybe even a lady friend, and there are few better ways to help social anxiety than being forced to socialize with people regularly.

And if you still don't know, try a variety of things and see what you do like.

Once you decide one or several areas you'd like to try to help out in, it will be a lot easier to find those opportunities.

idealist.org is a good place to start, since I think you live in the US?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Happy Birth day.

For me....Know thyself
Getting to know myself better gose beyound knowing what I like or my interest are.
I had to do a lots of reserch for what was really simple and in front of me.
For the lights of me...I couldnt figure out why I wasnt happy when life was actually
going good for me.

People would say BE happy. Happiness is an inside job and all that good ****.
Billions have heard it all before...so in the hell people still cant find happiness?
Never the less Im glad I finally found answers. Of curse there informations
from professionals to help billions of people. People would spend thousands
of dallors atteding seminars and workshops seeking answers as you and I.

I did lots of vulunteer work too. Yes , i felt good about myself. Meet new people.
And it kept my mind from thinking of my own troubles 24/7s.
Getting out of myself and all that good ****.
But i did so much vulunteer work after a while, people just expected me to
be there like a fucken slave. People get all un appricative...bitch and moan at me.
So I threw the fucken keys on the table...they all can find another janitor.
Whoopie fucken dooo.....just becuase I was assigned a title of a leader.
Yes, yes...valunteer work is like peeing in your pants...Im the only one feeling it.lol

Here are some simple answer i found.

1. My thoughts and feelings come from inside of me (no brainer)
2. People, place and things only triggers what I have inside of me already.
3. i aint gatta do **** to feel happy or be happy. Simply trigger happy feelings
or bring those feelings into light or my awearness.
4. Simply allow myself.

It was one of my struggles. For years and years I never felt loved no matter
how many people or GFs told me they love me. I simply never felt it or seldom felt it.
Allowing myself to feel sassy's love for me. She told me a thousand times she loves me.

I do this everyday now. I practice it. Trigger the feelings of being loved, well, happy, fulfilled,
complete, okay...ect I have all these feelings inside of me already.
It's simple habits. The inside job. Im not co-dependent anymore.
I can find my own happiness and stand on my own two feet. Just be me.....

The people pleasing, praise seeking, being a doormat...ect unhealthy dysfuctional behaviors stopped.

Its kind of like i found the ON and OFF button to my brain...but I went further.
I found the ON button myself to the many, many positive feeling and thoughts as will.
Flick the switch..and light over comes darkness in an instant.

Im also saft graud myself. I dont allow other people to push my buttons either (negative emotion buttons)
Plus Ive stop pushing those negative buttons myself...Im my own worst enemy.


Yes, sometime i write some wacked out stuff on this forum.
Some people learn how to spond instead of reacting.
Somw people figured it out..others havnt.
Im aint pushing nobody's buttons..They push it themselves.

 

[Ox Blood]

Happy Belated Birthday

 

[LoneKiller]

Instead of looking at how far away your goal is from your present state, look at it as a positive goal. Something to shoot for. Do things now that will help make the future easier. Prepare. Try to do things that will help hasten the future that you want. Everything that you do right now in your life is like a piece of the puzzle. Each piece you place, brings you closer to finishing the entire puzzle. Each puzzle piece placed is an accomplishment. You have "SUCCESSFULLY" brought yourself one step closer to finishing the puzzle. I'll say it again. Each piece placed is an accomplishment.

If you look at it this way, when you are finished the puzzle, it will be a beautiful finish. One that you worked so hard to achieve. And that Sir, will feel some sweet.