ExtensivexLDL said:
Going out alone is incredibly depressing and very unpromising. You're very hard-pressed to just come across someone sitting there alone (and not tuned in to their ipod or talking on a cell phone for that matter) and to just approach them and hit it off. As for getting my friends to tag along, (wherever that may be), I think it's a little unfair to them since they aren't particularly of the going-out kind and I'm pretty certain they're content just being with each other without trying to meet someone new (they have a lot more in common with each other than I have with any of them for instance). Generally speaking, I think going out with the sole purpose of trying to meet someone is a little loserish but that's my opinion. Nonetheless, I understand that trying to get out more is a much healthier and beneficial option than choosing to stay at home a lot of the time.
Yes it is very depressing to go out alone, and I get what you're saying, I've felt the same way. Actually reading back on what I wrote earlier I kind of disagree with myself
When you go out it doesn't necessarily have to be clubbing though. You can go other places where you wouldn't have to go through all that stuff. People meet new people at the strangest of places. It could really be anywhere, just as long as there're people. I didn't mean for you to drag your friends along to places they wouldn't feel at ease. I'd recommend something like a pool cafe, playing pool is a lot of fun and relaxing
. You don't have to be so focused on meeting new people. And it could be something your friends might enjoy too. I don't know what pool cafes are like in your area, but here it has a different atmosphere than in say, a club or a bar. But of course that's entirely up to you.
I was using the bars or clubs as an example because it's most likely the most common place to meet someone new (because somehow most people there already have that expectation in the back of their heads, if you get what I mean).
And yes, I agree it does sound rather loserish to go out just for the sole purpose of meeting someone. There is a difference though, in going out just to look for a girl to hook up with, and going out to meet new people.
ExtensivexLDL said:
It's hard to make things roll that way though, unless you've been good friends with the person prior to the start of the relationship.
It can work it's way there during the relationship. It'd be annoying to be good friends with someone first and then slowly try to transiate into a love relationship. Most people that are in love relationships might actually be very good friends, but most people don't really look at it that way, maybe that's what makes it seem even harder.
But yeah, it's not easy. And it takes time. But I for one am convinced it's essential. It's one of the things I'm missing in my own relationship now, too.
Kay, that's all I have to say.
It's fun talking to you
