I need advice on how to improve my social life

[MiguelMS]

As a 19 year old I had a few experiences with women but nothing serious at all . The same could be said regarding friendships. I want to change that, find a girlfriend and have a small group of friends . Those are my social goals but I feel quite lost , without a chance and sometimes even unwhorty of it due to my lack of sense on how to engage in interactions in a manner that could make others interested in me. I am able to be polite , assertive and hold regular conversations but as time progress poeple start to percieve me as quiet and reserved to the point that the possibility of anything deeper start to vanish away.
And no wonder. I am actually introverted and my hobbies very solitaires: I like philosophy , psychology , literature , mythology and so on.
It is really a mystery to me how some individuals can reach such levels of intimacy with any apparent reason in a short period of time.
After summer I will attend university as a philosophy student but for now I work at home , go to the gym and sometimes to the library to educate myself; from time to time I also walk around parks and other natural enviroments, and that´s that.
I hate pubs , bars as well as dating sites . The only moments I see girls , they are either sweating in the gym , studying at the library or simply walking down the street . It doesn´t feel right to approach them for some reason (at least in those situations) , It makes me see myself as a fraud. What would I say to them anyways.
Well , If you have any ideas , please share it.
Thank you for the attention.

 

[wallflower79]

My way of making friends involves me reaching out to people over and over again. What I do is I just try to initiate conversation and ask a lot of questions and try to get to know the person better. After a good conversation where I feel like we are clicking, I try and get a phone number from them, which tends to be a pretty awkward moment. Then I try texting and then setting up a time when we can do something together. Sometimes they reply only occasionally, sometimes they don't reply at all. I just keep trying over and over and even though it's exhausting, it's all I know how to do.

Some things I know to do in a good conversation is not to talk too much about yourself - that's a problem for me sometimes - and find out what that person is interested in. If the person that is interested in something you don't know much about, ask questions about it because odds are they will want to talk about it. I think that you're doing the right things with going to the gym and the library and working on yourself, because that's really important. You just have to be willing to put yourself out there, have awkward interactions and moments, and last through them to the good ones.

 

[evanescencefan912]

Cool psychology , literature , mythology are some good and interesting conversation topics. And when you get to University you can talk to your fellow students about your classes. I remember taking philosophy and I really liked that class so I'm sure you'll have a lot's of interesting things to talk to classmates about ( do we have free will or not? What do you think? I think are actions are determined by internal and external factors myself.)

You can always try meetup.com it's a cool site to find hangouts for people with similar interests such as hiking and board games ect.

And like Wallflower said don't be afraid to ask people about themselves such as their hobbies and interests. Hopefully you can find some people with things in common.

 

[MiguelMS]

Cool psychology , literature , mythology  are some good and interesting conversation topics.  And when you get to University you can talk to your fellow students about your classes. I remember taking philosophy and I really liked that class so I'm sure you'll have a lot's of interesting things to talk to classmates about ( do we have free will or not? What do you think? I think are actions are determined by internal and external factors myself.)

You can always try meetup.com  it's a cool site to find hangouts for people with similar interests such as hiking and board games ect.

And like Wallflower said  don't be afraid to ask people about themselves such as their hobbies and interests. Hopefully you can find some people with things in common.

OK , thanks a lot for the reply(thanks to you too Wallflower if you read this) . I see now that in university I will have more opportunities to talk about the sort of things you mentioned( Yes , I think free will is an illusion nested deep down in our brains roughly speaking , even if we dismiss it rationally we still act as if actually exists. Maybe the same thing could be said about the ideas of God , human rights ,... ? Who knows)
I guess the best option is trying step by step to get close to people regardless of how awkward the process is and hopefuly everything will work out just fine.