I need to get back out there.

[jimmymckooel]

I'm 28. I got 6 months till I'm back at uni. In the mean time, I ain't got nothing. I stay at mums and I need a job. I need to enjoy myself more all I do is mope around the house. My laptop has become my only friend; I **** over porn on it, so we have become very close. I just watch the clock, willing it to slow down but it goes faster and before you know it, it's Sunday all over again and then it's Sunday again then another month passes, then another. I know I'm depressed because my life is depressing, I just don't know what I want and it gets harder the more time I spend away from people. Don't even know why I'm writing this. Maybe someone will inspire me.

 

[evanescencefan91]

*hugs jimmymckooel*

aw I remember summer vacations similar,

would have been better if i wasn't staying with my mom,

but if the weather is nice I would recammend that you go out Cycling!!

aw it's so much fun i use to do this so much over sumemr vacation I explored nearly every block of the city and it's surronding limits while lisrening to my ipod it was really good fun sometimes i would ride my bike to the pool and swim laps

some times i would also saty up all night online and i would play guitar while wacthing tv and movies online

it was so productively unproductive,


maybe try doing some voluentering or take a local class at a community college or something

try meetup.com and see if there's anything interesting in your area

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Hi,
I isolated myself from life N the world for over a year. I had to move back
to my parents @ the age of 40. All the guilt N shame and feeling like a failure and loosing everything that was important to me drove me deeper into my isolation. I no longer wanted anything from life.

At first it was great..I had no more responsibilities. I shut down mentally and emotionally. I didnt want to think or feel anymore. Over time I got comfortiable living like that. Days slowly faded together. I didnt even know what day, month or year it was...nor did I cared. I seldom went outside
nor had any human contacts.

Slowly my depression set in. Slowly I woundnt get out of bed. Slowly thoughts of ending my life roam my mind. I struggle to get out of bed
oneday. I struggled with simple daily task...such as brushing my teeth.
I counldnt focus..so I stayed in bed even more. It was a vicious cycle.
I had a very, very case of cabin fever and then some. I was dysfunctional....dysfunctional.

Anyway...my life is not like that anymore. I got on this forum and continue to come here becuz its like an on line journal to me.
My life is like a sort of open book...becuase I wish not to isolate
or feel the ashame anymore. its the opposite of what I was doing.
Some of the CHANGES ive made in my life.

I took baby steps....I forced myself to get out of my house everyday...even if it was only for 5 mins. I patted myself on the
back for getting dressed or getting out of bed. Anything positive
things I did..no matter how little it was.
The small changes I knew I could accomplished...it wasnt easy
in the state I was in. Graudually I was able to take miles walk and leave my house for a longer period of time...I would catch my mind N body
wanting to return to my old unhealthy comfort zone. Then I started riding my bike. Then graudually I could stay within 20 feet of another human. Then I could say hello to someone. Then graudally have a conversation..Then having physical contact. It didnt happened over night...but those small changes add into big changes

It was also about disciplining my mind N body and regaining control N power over my mind N body.(eventaully regaining control N power over my life...taking my life back) When I isolated myself, I let my mind N body go...like a runaway car without a driver or someone controlling it,my mind N body eventually crashed.

 

[kamya]

Wow Lonesome Crow you just posted almost exactly where I've been at for the past 10 months. The past 2 months I've slowly been getting better. Hopefully I will be able to make more small changes and take my life back as well. It's hard for me because in the back of my mind I don't feel like I even want to. But I know I need to.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

What is the Nike slogan, Just Do It. Simple yet powerful, we can think about things all day or we can take action. Want a job, get up and go get applications. Fill them out and turn them in tomorrow.

Just do it, it is hard at first. With time you will get better. However, you will never run if you do not walk first.

 

[jimmymckooel]

What is the Nike slogan, Just Do It. Simple yet powerful, we can think about things all day or we can take action. Want a job, get up and go get applications. Fill them out and turn them in tomorrow.

Just do it, it is hard at first. With time you will get better. However, you will never run if you do not walk first.

Evanescence fan, Lonesome crow, A frozen soul

Thanks for those words, they were inspiring. Once the sun rises I'll be spinning the dice again, hopefully I'll have a brighter day. Thanks guys, I'll come back to this thread, if I feel down again.

 

[SophiaGrace]

jimmy you sound a lot like me. Minus the porn. Do you gamble?

 

[jimmymckooel]

jimmy you sound a lot like me. Minus the porn. Do you gamble?

Is poker gambling?

 

[SophiaGrace]

jimmy you sound a lot like me. Minus the porn. Do you gamble?

Is poker gambling?

If it's a game at a casino and you bet money on it. Yes?

 

[jimmymckooel]

ok, take two. I, uhhh, slept in yesterday and just done the usual.

 

[Thrasymachus]

I am kind of at the same position as you in life, except I have been existing as a part-time freeter outside of school for years now..

There are some natural things you can do to improve your mood:
1) at least 20 min. of vigorous exercise per day
2) start meditating, I recommend reading a book by the Tibetan lama Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche for instruction
3) do yoga
4) take supplements like Vitamin D and theanine that are known to enhance mood
5) Work on your social skills. Try following the advice in the book How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less.

 

[jimmymckooel]

Hey Thrasymachus, thanks for that. I'm going to do some of that. I used to meditate but even though its so easy and beneficial, I can't be bothered doing it! It's like I cut myself off from all stimulation. If I feel low, I won't turn the radio on, I won;t open the curtains, I won't go outside. When I do have to confront the day, in the afternoon, it's too late, the days done. Then I just go online. Sometimes I'll go the gym to pay for my sins of doing nothing. I'm just in a right rut. I'll start a thread in another forum to let you know, how I'm getting on.

 

[Dessa]

jimmy you sound a lot like me. Minus the porn.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Meditation is different for everyone. Just taking a simple stroll in the park, during sunrise, sunsets.
Theres not a right way, wrong way, best way, only way to meditate.
Do what works for you.

I use to just take a stroll @ a park. Then I would go sit on my favorite park bench.
It was kind of secluded so that I couldnt be bothered...but it was still out in the open
where people can still see me. Under a tree in front of a pond with a water fountain.
That became my goal N commitment...to go sit on that bench everyday wheather I felt like
it or not..wheather I meditated or not...Gruadaully I got to a place of being in the moment.
Meditation wasnt new to me...I wasnt practicing it. I had to start exercising too.
After taking walks...I started weight lifting too.

it was just a matter of building on what I had. Making a commitment of staying in shape.
It help lower my depression...the fog gradually lifted.

Another suggestions I applied to my life. It might seem corning or childish..but its basic mechanics
of how my mind works.
I also started focusing exercises too and still continue to do these simple exercises today.
I'll simply just focus in on various objects at various distances from me...5 mins per day.
It help me regain control over my mind. I can choose to focus on what I want or not...then
the same principle is apply to my thoughts or thinking in other area of my life.
Sometimes negative thoughts would run across my mind..I'll simply just chose not to run with it
or focus on something else...Or create positive thoughts or goals to focus on.

 

[jimmymckooel]

Well, it's back to my loneliness thread. I got some ideas to make my life better. I got enough money saved up to move out but the problem with that is, I don't have a job. If I did have my own place, I could have better social life for sure. I'd be so much happier, so the dilemma I face is, say good bye to my savings and chance getting a job before they run out. Or is it best to get a job first. It's probably best to get a job first, it's just everything is so safe here. Basically I'm mooching off my mum...I need a job. But my motivation is so bad these days and my confidence goes up and down so much. When I was living away from my mums house, I was never lonely. People came over, I never worried about coming home late. It was great. I had a massive breakdown a few years ago...you don;t want to know why...thats why I'm like this.

 

[SophiaGrace]

jimmy you sound a lot like me. Minus the porn.

How'd you cross that out?

 

[kamya]

jimmy you sound a lot like me. Minus the porn.

How'd you cross that out?

Not sure if that's a real question but when you quote the post you can see the [s*] [/s*]brackets around it.

 

[jimmymckooel]

Damn, I slept in and missed the day...again.

 

[jimmymckooel]

Slept in again...I just can't wake up.

 

[kamya]

Do you have an alarm clock?