I never expected this. Dissapointed.

[Retrospective81]

Last month, I joined an penpal service called Interpals. Anyone heard of it? Its like a social networking site with the aim of meeting people around the world and making new friends. I created a detailed profile, posted a pic and set out to write to a few people.

I couldn't believe the following.

People never wrote back or stopped responding after one or 2 messages even though things seemed to be going great. They had been online as you can check their statuses etc.

I just couldn't believe people were shallow or picky over meeting new friends. I understand this sort of thing on dating sites but come on, a FRIENDSHIP site?

I left the site feeling so dejected and discouraged. I just never expected socialising online to reach such a low.

How I miss the early days when you could make friends with almost anybody and people didn't seem to be so judgemental and picky.

I just feel so isolated now knowing that making friendships online is just as tough as the real world.

I have nowhere to go now.

Has anyone noticed this disturbing and growing trend?

 

[Rainbows]

Well, I've been on interpals before and one advise: Leave it, run, delete your account as fast as possible. Many of those people lie about their identities in the first place. Really, there's many sites where people will want to be friends, just don't base your opinion on a silly site like interpals. >:

It reminds me I should delete my account after a long time of not using it lol

 

[Rosebolt]

Sorry to hear about the bad experience. What do we do when we fall down? Exactly.

 

[Retrospective81]

Well, I've been on interpals before and one advise: Leave it, run, delete your account as fast as possible. Many of those people lie about their identities in the first place. Really, there's many sites where people will want to be friends, just don't base your opinion on a silly site like interpals. >:

It reminds me I should delete my account after a long time of not using it lol

Thanks for the advice HG I've tried so many sites now I'm trying VERY hard not to have such an opinion like that. Where do you suggest I try?

---

Sorry to hear about the bad experience. What do we do when we fall down? Exactly.

I'm trying to get back up again. Atleast I know this forum is where I can take refuge until I build myself up again

 

[Triple Bogey]

Well, I've been on interpals before and one advise: Leave it, run, delete your account as fast as possible. Many of those people lie about their identities in the first place. Really, there's many sites where people will want to be friends, just don't base your opinion on a silly site like interpals. >:

It reminds me I should delete my account after a long time of not using it lol

Thanks for the advice HG I've tried so many sites now I'm trying VERY hard not to have such an opinion like that. Where do you suggest I try?

---

Sorry to hear about the bad experience. What do we do when we fall down? Exactly.

I'm trying to get back up again. Atleast I know this forum is where I can take refuge until I build myself up again

---

I would suggest meeting people in real life. What about a walking club ? Or a chess club ? Book club ? Cinema ?

 

[Seeker]

Well, you always have ALL, i went through many forums and sites before, but this is the first in which people are actually nice and receptive to meeting new people, I've even made a friend in here

 

[Skid Row 89]

Sorry to hear about this I think online friendships in general are a hit and miss thing for the most part. Maybe the people you tried to talk to weren't very interested in talking to anyone and just joined out of boredom (a bit pointless when you think about it). I'm sure you'll find someone you can connect with on the site eventually.

 

[Rosebolt]

I'm trying to get back up again. Atleast I know this forum is where I can take refuge until I build myself up again

Be like water. Never expect something if you know it will hurt you in some way. Detach yourself from others, and only trust yourself. Flow with the flow that life hands you. Bad experience? Move on to the next. Be like a stream coming down from a mountain. Fast. Relentless. Unbreakable. And if you keep going, the water will go wider, your life will become richer. Until you get to the ocean.

There's no need to rebuild, because there's nothing to rebuild. Let the pain you feel push you to keep going on defining your river. Don't let a rock stop your entire being. Flow around it.

You probably need a better sense of self. What is the river that is you? What defines your waters? Only if you know that, you can get as far as to join in the ocean.

 

[Retrospective81]

Well, I've been on interpals before and one advise: Leave it, run, delete your account as fast as possible. Many of those people lie about their identities in the first place. Really, there's many sites where people will want to be friends, just don't base your opinion on a silly site like interpals. >:

It reminds me I should delete my account after a long time of not using it lol

Thanks for the advice HG I've tried so many sites now I'm trying VERY hard not to have such an opinion like that. Where do you suggest I try?

---

Sorry to hear about the bad experience. What do we do when we fall down? Exactly.

I'm trying to get back up again. Atleast I know this forum is where I can take refuge until I build myself up again

---

I would suggest meeting people in real life. What about a walking club ? Or a chess club ? Book club ? Cinema ?

---

meeting peopleOffline is not an option now. I fail to connect with people now and I feel its not worth taking that risk now. Yes, I'm scared.

---

I'm trying to get back up again. Atleast I know this forum is where I can take refuge until I build myself up again

Be like water. Never expect something if you know it will hurt you in some way. Detach yourself from others, and only trust yourself. Flow with the flow that life hands you. Bad experience? Move on to the next. Be like a stream coming down from a mountain. Fast. Relentless. Unbreakable. And if you keep going, the water will go wider, your life will become richer. Until you get to the ocean.

There's no need to rebuild, because there's nothing to rebuild. Let the pain you feel push you to keep going on defining your river. Don't let a rock stop your entire being. Flow around it.

You probably need a better sense of self. What is the river that is you? What defines your waters? Only if you know that, you can get as far as to join in the ocean.

I'm just not sure of anything right now. I thought I was making progress but I'm just in so much pain right now. I cant connect with people here offline as people have their own lives and society is getting less open to new friendships day by day.

I work with the public and I see that I get stared at, laughed at, or looked at with disgust. The pain is overwhelming me. Seeing and feeling a world that is so cold and becoming more devoid of love and warmth day by day. I feel like I'm losing.

---

Well, you always have ALL, i went through many forums and sites before, but this is the first in which people are actually nice and receptive to meeting new people, I've even made a friend in here

Seeker, that's right. I have grown to like, respect and feel safe on this site despite earlier problems with people and being banned (deservedly so).

I've not and wont make the same mistake in attacking people here who, a lot, are just my reflection in the mirror philosophically speaking.

I've a self inflicted bad rep with some people here but I hope they will see that I'm not going down the same destructive path on ALL again.

I just hope those people don't continue to hate me or look at me with suspicion.

---

Sorry to hear about this I think online friendships in general are a hit and miss thing for the most part. Maybe the people you tried to talk to weren't very interested in talking to anyone and just joined out of boredom (a bit pointless when you think about it). I'm sure you'll find someone you can connect with on the site eventually.

Skid, I deleted my profile on the advice of a user here with eexperience with that particular site.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Well, I've been on interpals before and one advise: Leave it, run, delete your account as fast as possible. Many of those people lie about their identities in the first place. Really, there's many sites where people will want to be friends, just don't base your opinion on a silly site like interpals. >:

It reminds me I should delete my account after a long time of not using it lol

Thanks for the advice HG I've tried so many sites now I'm trying VERY hard not to have such an opinion like that. Where do you suggest I try?

---

Sorry to hear about the bad experience. What do we do when we fall down? Exactly.

I'm trying to get back up again. Atleast I know this forum is where I can take refuge until I build myself up again

---

I would suggest meeting people in real life. What about a walking club ? Or a chess club ? Book club ? Cinema ?

---

meeting peopleOffline is not an option now. I fail to connect with people now and I feel its not worth taking that risk now. Yes, I'm scared.

---

I'm trying to get back up again. Atleast I know this forum is where I can take refuge until I build myself up again

Be like water. Never expect something if you know it will hurt you in some way. Detach yourself from others, and only trust yourself. Flow with the flow that life hands you. Bad experience? Move on to the next. Be like a stream coming down from a mountain. Fast. Relentless. Unbreakable. And if you keep going, the water will go wider, your life will become richer. Until you get to the ocean.

There's no need to rebuild, because there's nothing to rebuild. Let the pain you feel push you to keep going on defining your river. Don't let a rock stop your entire being. Flow around it.

You probably need a better sense of self. What is the river that is you? What defines your waters? Only if you know that, you can get as far as to join in the ocean.

I'm just not sure of anything right now. I thought I was making progress but I'm just in so much pain right now. I cant connect with people here offline as people have their own lives and society is getting less open to new friendships day by day.

I work with the public and I see that I get stared at, laughed at, or looked at with disgust. The pain is overwhelming me. Seeing and feeling a world that is so cold and becoming more devoid of love and warmth day by day. I feel like I'm losing.

---

---

what do you do ?

I work in retail too. While 95% of the customers I deal with are nice, you always get the other 5%, the ones who look at me, or smirk or do a double take at me for some reason. I just ignore them.

So it's not just you if that's any consolation !

 

[Retrospective81]

Well, I've been on interpals before and one advise: Leave it, run, delete your account as fast as possible. Many of those people lie about their identities in the first place. Really, there's many sites where people will want to be friends, just don't base your opinion on a silly site like interpals. >:

It reminds me I should delete my account after a long time of not using it lol

Thanks for the advice HG I've tried so many sites now I'm trying VERY hard not to have such an opinion like that. Where do you suggest I try?

---

Sorry to hear about the bad experience. What do we do when we fall down? Exactly.

I'm trying to get back up again. Atleast I know this forum is where I can take refuge until I build myself up again

---

I would suggest meeting people in real life. What about a walking club ? Or a chess club ? Book club ? Cinema ?

---

meeting peopleOffline is not an option now. I fail to connect with people now and I feel its not worth taking that risk now. Yes, I'm scared.

---

I'm trying to get back up again. Atleast I know this forum is where I can take refuge until I build myself up again

Be like water. Never expect something if you know it will hurt you in some way. Detach yourself from others, and only trust yourself. Flow with the flow that life hands you. Bad experience? Move on to the next. Be like a stream coming down from a mountain. Fast. Relentless. Unbreakable. And if you keep going, the water will go wider, your life will become richer. Until you get to the ocean.

There's no need to rebuild, because there's nothing to rebuild. Let the pain you feel push you to keep going on defining your river. Don't let a rock stop your entire being. Flow around it.

You probably need a better sense of self. What is the river that is you? What defines your waters? Only if you know that, you can get as far as to join in the ocean.

I'm just not sure of anything right now. I thought I was making progress but I'm just in so much pain right now. I cant connect with people here offline as people have their own lives and society is getting less open to new friendships day by day.

I work with the public and I see that I get stared at, laughed at, or looked at with disgust. The pain is overwhelming me. Seeing and feeling a world that is so cold and becoming more devoid of love and warmth day by day. I feel like I'm losing.

---

---

what do you do ?

I work in retail too. While 95% of the customers I deal with are nice, you always get the other 5%, the ones who look at me, or smirk or do a double take at me for some reason. I just ignore them.

So it's not just you if that's any consolation !

---

---

Yes it is triple I work for Matalan on customer services. had a really bad day on Saturday where most people were horrible to me when I tried my very best to help people as I'm supposedly do. the demographic ratio is 95% 'nice' for you Triple? that's a lot better than me! I think geographical location plays a part in this too I think!

 

[Triple Bogey]

Thanks for the advice HG I've tried so many sites now I'm trying VERY hard not to have such an opinion like that. Where do you suggest I try?

---

I'm trying to get back up again. Atleast I know this forum is where I can take refuge until I build myself up again

---

I would suggest meeting people in real life. What about a walking club ? Or a chess club ? Book club ? Cinema ?

---

meeting peopleOffline is not an option now. I fail to connect with people now and I feel its not worth taking that risk now. Yes, I'm scared.

---

I'm trying to get back up again. Atleast I know this forum is where I can take refuge until I build myself up again

Be like water. Never expect something if you know it will hurt you in some way. Detach yourself from others, and only trust yourself. Flow with the flow that life hands you. Bad experience? Move on to the next. Be like a stream coming down from a mountain. Fast. Relentless. Unbreakable. And if you keep going, the water will go wider, your life will become richer. Until you get to the ocean.

There's no need to rebuild, because there's nothing to rebuild. Let the pain you feel push you to keep going on defining your river. Don't let a rock stop your entire being. Flow around it.

You probably need a better sense of self. What is the river that is you? What defines your waters? Only if you know that, you can get as far as to join in the ocean.

I'm just not sure of anything right now. I thought I was making progress but I'm just in so much pain right now. I cant connect with people here offline as people have their own lives and society is getting less open to new friendships day by day.

I work with the public and I see that I get stared at, laughed at, or looked at with disgust. The pain is overwhelming me. Seeing and feeling a world that is so cold and becoming more devoid of love and warmth day by day. I feel like I'm losing.

---

---

what do you do ?

I work in retail too. While 95% of the customers I deal with are nice, you always get the other 5%, the ones who look at me, or smirk or do a double take at me for some reason. I just ignore them.

So it's not just you if that's any consolation !

---

---

Yes it is triple I work for Matalan on customer services. had a really bad day on Saturday where most people were horrible to me when I tried my very best to help people as I'm supposedly do. the demographic ratio is 95% 'nice' for you Triple? that's a lot better than me! I think geographical location plays a part in this too I think!

---

---

when I started in retail in the mid 90's I had a terrible time. I worked late evenings in this small shop. Everything happened to me. I got punched, spat that, threatened loads of times, called gay, made fun of. They used to call me 'Mr Bean' - because I was shy and nervous I guess I was a target. It was horrible. Now I am more confident I don't get as much **** from the customers.

Bad days are horrible, just hope you have a better day next time !

 

[Retrospective81]

I would suggest meeting people in real life. What about a walking club ? Or a chess club ? Book club ? Cinema ?

meeting peopleOffline is not an option now. I fail to connect with people now and I feel its not worth taking that risk now. Yes, I'm scared.

---

Be like water. Never expect something if you know it will hurt you in some way. Detach yourself from others, and only trust yourself. Flow with the flow that life hands you. Bad experience? Move on to the next. Be like a stream coming down from a mountain. Fast. Relentless. Unbreakable. And if you keep going, the water will go wider, your life will become richer. Until you get to the ocean.

There's no need to rebuild, because there's nothing to rebuild. Let the pain you feel push you to keep going on defining your river. Don't let a rock stop your entire being. Flow around it.

You probably need a better sense of self. What is the river that is you? What defines your waters? Only if you know that, you can get as far as to join in the ocean.

I'm just not sure of anything right now. I thought I was making progress but I'm just in so much pain right now. I cant connect with people here offline as people have their own lives and society is getting less open to new friendships day by day.

I work with the public and I see that I get stared at, laughed at, or looked at with disgust. The pain is overwhelming me. Seeing and feeling a world that is so cold and becoming more devoid of love and warmth day by day. I feel like I'm losing.

---

what do you do ?

I work in retail too. While 95% of the customers I deal with are nice, you always get the other 5%, the ones who look at me, or smirk or do a double take at me for some reason. I just ignore them.

So it's not just you if that's any consolation !

---

Yes it is triple I work for Matalan on customer services. had a really bad day on Saturday where most people were horrible to me when I tried my very best to help people as I'm supposedly do. the demographic ratio is 95% 'nice' for you Triple? that's a lot better than me! I think geographical location plays a part in this too I think!

---

when I started in retail in the mid 90's I had a terrible time. I worked late evenings in this small shop. Everything happened to me. I got punched, spat that, threatened loads of times, called gay, made fun of. They used to call me 'Mr Bean' - because I was shy and nervous I guess I was a target. It was horrible. Now I am more confident I don't get as much **** from the customers.

Bad days are horrible, just hope you have a better day next time !

---

That happened to you? see this is why I cant get close to people anymore. You never know who they really are and so many of them hide behind facades like wolves in sheep's clothing. It's so difficult to know who's genuine these days.

I used to be the opposite but in the last 5 years of rejection from people and being ostricised for no reason, I've become more shy and withdrawn. It just hurts like a knife trying tog et back to how I was then being pushed away for no good reason by people. Yes. people. people. *shakes head* what a terrible day and age I have to endure :\

 

[Triple Bogey]

meeting peopleOffline is not an option now. I fail to connect with people now and I feel its not worth taking that risk now. Yes, I'm scared.

---

I'm just not sure of anything right now. I thought I was making progress but I'm just in so much pain right now. I cant connect with people here offline as people have their own lives and society is getting less open to new friendships day by day.

I work with the public and I see that I get stared at, laughed at, or looked at with disgust. The pain is overwhelming me. Seeing and feeling a world that is so cold and becoming more devoid of love and warmth day by day. I feel like I'm losing.

---

what do you do ?

I work in retail too. While 95% of the customers I deal with are nice, you always get the other 5%, the ones who look at me, or smirk or do a double take at me for some reason. I just ignore them.

So it's not just you if that's any consolation !

---

Yes it is triple I work for Matalan on customer services. had a really bad day on Saturday where most people were horrible to me when I tried my very best to help people as I'm supposedly do. the demographic ratio is 95% 'nice' for you Triple? that's a lot better than me! I think geographical location plays a part in this too I think!

---

when I started in retail in the mid 90's I had a terrible time. I worked late evenings in this small shop. Everything happened to me. I got punched, spat that, threatened loads of times, called gay, made fun of. They used to call me 'Mr Bean' - because I was shy and nervous I guess I was a target. It was horrible. Now I am more confident I don't get as much **** from the customers.

Bad days are horrible, just hope you have a better day next time !

---

That happened to you? see this is why I cant get close to people anymore. You never know who they really are and so many of them hide behind facades like wolves in sheep's clothing. It's so difficult to know who's genuine these days.

I used to be the opposite but in the last 5 years of rejection from people and being ostricised for no reason, I've become more shy and withdrawn. It just hurts like a knife trying tog et back to how I was then being pushed away for no good reason by people. Yes. people. people. *shakes head* what a terrible day and age I have to endure :\

---

yes of course it happened. In fact in 94 /95 the trouble started to happen when I wasn't at work, when I was walking down my street for example. I got moved to another shop (the one I am at now) to get me out of the way. These youths would turn up and give me **** just for the fun of it. I remember working Christmas day and getting some **** from this ******. My life was ***** then, it truly was.

 

[Tiina63]

Even though the site you went to was a penpal/friendship/social netowrking site, probably a lot of people on there would be there hoping for a relationship. So you would run into the same things-a couple of messages then the other person disappears etc that you get on dating sites.

 

[Retrospective81]

Even though the site you went to was a penpal/friendship/social netowrking site, probably a lot of people on there would be there hoping for a relationship. So you would run into the same things-a couple of messages then the other person disappears etc that you get on dating sites.

Thanks for the response Tiina, yes that's another good point that you made even though I seeked 'friends only' and responded to profile as 'friends only'.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I've been on forums for a good 12 years, and I've only made a handful of people I can really call friends.

 

[ardour]

you're taking your online experiences way too seriously. There's just way too much missing in a 'friendship' with someone you've never met IMO, along with countless other explanations for why they stopped responding (for example maybe they're in correspondence with a lot of people and couldn't find time..)

 

[AlexChristy]

Retrospective81, as for me, at those sites people doesn`t need friendship or friends. Most of them are willing to find love, sex partner...
I`ve also tried to find penpal friends, but I wrote that I`m married, and I don`t find love, they have not even answered )))

 

[ringwood]

I've been a member of Interpals for over 4 years now and for the most part it's a waste of time. I've got one ongoing friendship with a lady in Sweden, and the rest have all fallen by the wayside. I wouldn't bother with the site at all, it's pretty useless if you're looking for genuine long-lasting friendships. Have you ever heard of Postcrossing? It's a postcard exchange site, but on their forums there are lots of people also looking for friendship/penpals. I've been a Postcrossing member for a long time and the people there are very genuine and friendly, some of the nicest people I've met online. Might be an idea?

---

I've been on forums for a good 12 years, and I've only made a handful of people I can really call friends.

Sorry, totally off-topic, but just had to comment on your fantastic signature, love it! I would recognize Kate Bush anywhere, even her blinky eye from the video 'Army Dreamers', haha! Cheers!