I never had a friend

[SoLonely91]

Hi. I'm new here btw. I'm very lonely. I've been lonely all of my life. I'm 23. I don't have the energy to write my entire life's story on here. I've been bullied and harassed ever since I can remember. I've never had a girlfriend either. And judging by my total lack of luck in online dating I doubt I would ever have a girlfriend. But how am I'm suppose to maintain a relationship with someone for the sake of love if I can't even make a friend in the first place. I guess I just came here to ask a question. How am I to make friends. I'm sick, tired, and depressed. I'm in no shape to be expected to play mind games either. What can I do? What does it take? I'm dying of loneliness. Thanks for reading.

 

[Badjedidude]

Welcome to the site.

 

[9006]

Hello, a lot of people will relate on here.

Welcome to the site.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Welcome to the forum.

What do you enjoy doing? I think the trick of getting friends is to find people who share your interests, beliefs or thoughts. Don't pretend to be someone you're not and don't be a push over. Be who you are and someone will want to be your friend, just keep looking.
The main thing you need to remember is that you can't give up. Online dating doesn't work for a lot of people, so don't let that discourage you.

 

[Drama]

Come to terms with your loneliness. IMO, you should not let it burden you. The more you fight, the harder it'd be for you to overcome it. Then, you would be ready to face the world. How are you supposed to make friends if you let yourself engulfed by your loneliness?

 

[TheRealCallie]

Come to terms with your loneliness. IMO, you should not let it burden you. The more you fight, the harder it'd be for you to overcome it. Then, you would be ready to face the world. How are you supposed to make friends if you let yourself engulfed by your loneliness?

I really must agree with Drama.

How you feel about yourself will show to the world. You don't have to LIKE your situation, but you do have to learn how to accept it. From my experience, you really can't move beyond it until you come to terms with it.

 

[StormChild]

Welcome here. There are a lot of very friendly people on this site -- we can offer you friendship here, at least.

I agree that the first step is feeling good about yourself before you step outside of that and look for friendships in other people. Can you find something that interests you, that you can be good at? It could be a way to meet people who will be on the same wavelength as you.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Hey there, welcome to the forum. I hope being on here can relieve you off some of the loneliness, there are some really nice and fun people to talk to here.

 

[jaguarundi]

Hello and welcome. I hope you will find what you are looking for here.

 

[Sameer]

me neither...

 

[GirlwithCuriousHair]

Hey, nice to meet you. I'm Lana and I'm 23. Let's have a conversation What's the last interesting Wikipedia article you read? Whatever it was, if it was interesting to you it's interesting to me. And everybody loves wasting time reading Wiki articles!

 

[Revanchist]

Most people genuinely care about other people's feelings for two reasons in my exprience, either they're already very close friends and they want to help their friends out, or they feel pity over a specific person who is feeling down. There are cases in between but in my experience everyone I ever talked to about feeling bad in attempts of gaining them as a friend, has only stayed long enough to help me out to feel better, and after that they left. When finding friends the attitude is key. The main issue is countless depressed people who don't want to get help they instead just want a person they can whine to. I've met many of people like these and whatever you say to help them gets deflected because they simply prefer drowning in self pity other than taking the strength to stand up. It takes real guts to do that, to cut the crying and say HEY:.....shut the **** up, i don't wanna be sad anymore.

With that said, I think that you should definitely try to interact with people more on a positive note. No mind games necessary but saying "I'm depressed" instantly demands energy from the other person. The only time when saying " i'm depressed" actually helps is with a Therapist or someone who can help you resolve the matter directly without involving friendship. Meanwhile I'd strongly suggest to have a friendlier approach to people. Like saying hey... ... ... i don't know, something random. That attracts much more attention because in my experience saying you're depressed only attracts pity and people crying over you or perhaps using you so they can feel like better human beings for helping. Meanwhile I'd strongly suggest messaging some people here with random remarks. Greetings or words that might make them think. Most people who are feeling down want an instant cure, like a magic sentence that will automatically make their lives better. There is no cure, no magic sentence, there is only you.

 

[Solitary man]

Hi. I'm new here btw. I'm very lonely. I've been lonely all of my life. I'm 23. I don't have the energy to write my entire life's story on here. I've been bullied and harassed ever since I can remember. I've never had a girlfriend either. And judging by my total lack of luck in online dating I doubt I would ever have a girlfriend. But how am I'm suppose to maintain a relationship with someone for the sake of love if I can't even make a friend in the first place. I guess I just came here to ask a question. How am I to make friends. I'm sick, tired, and depressed. I'm in no shape to be expected to play mind games either. What can I do? What does it take? I'm dying of loneliness. Thanks for reading.

At 23 you don't know what loneliness is. You haven't even been born yet. When you hit 45 and have spent the last 17 years of your life alone, without family, without a friend, and without what most people take for granted, then you're entitled to come onto a lonely site and start whining about how lonely you are. "Loneliness"; you don't know the meaning of the word.

 

[zibafu]

At 23 you don't know what loneliness is. You haven't even been born yet. When you hit 45 and have spent the last 17 years of your life alone, without family, without a friend, and without what most people take for granted, then you're entitled to come onto a lonely site and start whining about how lonely you are. "Loneliness"; you don't know the meaning of the word.

Dude ? Seriously ? That seems like a very ******* thing to say to someone who has just joined up and is feeling down ? I mean come on, you don't have any right at all to tell someone they don't know the meaning of anything, emotions/feelings are not limited to people in their 40's or above, anyone at any age can feel this stuff.

This is supposed to be a website for all of us to basically support eachother ffs, that was just out of order

 

[TheRealCallie]

At 23 you don't know what loneliness is. You haven't even been born yet. When you hit 45 and have spent the last 17 years of your life alone, without family, without a friend, and without what most people take for granted, then you're entitled to come onto a lonely site and start whining about how lonely you are. "Loneliness"; you don't know the meaning of the word.

Dude ? Seriously ? That seems like a very ******* thing to say to someone who has just joined up and is feeling down ? I mean come on, you don't have any right at all to tell someone they don't know the meaning of anything, emotions/feelings are not limited to people in their 40's or above, anyone at any age can feel this stuff.

This is supposed to be a website for all of us to basically support eachother ffs, that was just out of order

I have to agree with zibafu.
You don't have the right to tell someone that they can't be lonely and complain about it just because they are 23. I have to point out that you have no idea what this person has been through in their life, so you can't know anything about his situation or how lonely he actually is. Age has nothing to do with how lonely you are "entitled" to be.

Solitary Man, if you are that lonely, perhaps you should do something to change it. Might I suggest you stop being so negative...seriously, that can do wonders.

 

[Sci-Fi]

First of all, no name calling.

Second

At 23 you don't know what loneliness is. You haven't even been born yet. When you hit 45 and have spent the last 17 years of your life alone, without family, without a friend, and without what most people take for granted, then you're entitled to come onto a lonely site and start whining about how lonely you are. "Loneliness"; you don't know the meaning of the word.

You trying to get banned again, cause you are on the right track. Someone at 23 can be just as lonely as anyone else so don't start with that kind of attitude.

 

[Drama]

At 23 you don't know what loneliness is. You haven't even been born yet.

I don't know if you know it, but existing on earth for 23 years makes you born and even a living creature.

When you hit 45 and have spent the last 17 years of your life alone, without family, without a friend, and without what most people take for granted, then you're entitled to come onto a lonely site and start whining about how lonely you are. "Loneliness"

I'm sorry you have no one, but there are other younger people who have no one too. And it's more difficult for them.
Spending 23 years with no friend at all seems to be a legitimate reason to be called lonely.
Do you want to make loneliness exclusive to bitter old men/women? If so I suggest calling it "loneliness for the old" as opposed to "No loneliness for the young". What do you think?

you don't know the meaning of the word.

In case, and JUST in case you are not sure about the meaning of "loneliness" yourself, I would direct you to the almighty wikipedia.
Unfortunately, wiki does not tell us when we start being a lonely person.

 

[Grackle]

I kinda feel Solitary man's pain, though I believe anyone's loneliness or pain (regardless of age) should be respected. As I age the hope of fixing my life seems to be fading and the years of hoping and wishing and trying just seems like such a waste of energy now and embarrassing, what a fool I was to think I actually thought things would get better. Years ago it was " Don't give up" now it just feels like the end is all that much closer. At 40 or 50 or 60 it just seems like time is running out, the sadness of life is a little more concentrated, a little more bitter ...I guess.

 

[Tiina63]

I agree with Grackle that anyone's loneliness and pain should be respected. Loneliness hurts as much at 23 as it does later on. I remember often feeling very lonely and empty at 23 and often at a younger age as well. OP-I do hope that you can find some help in real life as well as on here to make some friends. Online contacts can be important and fulfilling emotionally so I would say that maybe finding some friends on this site would be beneficial as a first step, but real life contacts are vital as well for most people. Maybe a therapist or support group could help you to develop better social skills so that you could eventually find some friends?
However, I understand Grackle's understanding Solitary Man's pain, because you do become aware as you get older that the time for meeting someone is getting much shorter and that you may be alone for the rest of your life. And often you do have more years of being alone behind you.
Solitary Man-I am middle aged (mid fifties) and I lost my last family member 14 years ago, so I can understand where you are coming from.

 

[Nice But Dim Jim]

Before you make friends with others, you need to make friends with yourself.

I personally hate myself most of the time thus I can't make friends because why would someone want to be friends with me if even I can't stand me?

Get me on a good day or week and I can be the life/soul of the party, cracking jokes and entertaining but I don't like being that person, so I am happy in my loneliness.