I realized something

[HappyYogi]

I just realized something about myself.

For most of my adult life I've been really into natural healing, diet, exercise, etc. I also have had a very strong interest in spirituality.

I think I realized that while these hobbies are beneficial and positive I think I gravitated and focused on them because it's SO MUCH EASIER to improve ones health and develop a spiritual practice than it is to solve the hard problems in life.

For me it has been fear of failure, perfectionism, feeling worthless, not being able to get close to others, avoidancy, etc etc.

Those problems are really hard to face and deal with. I feel so little control with them but health? Spirituality? Exercise? I can do those...so much easier! Gives me a feeling of control over my life.

 

[passage]

That may be true for some people, but I wouldn't suggest changing your current health and spiritual habits. This realization should help you focus more on those issues.

 

[Tiina63]

I think it is good that up to now you have chosen spirituality, exercise and health to focus on as so many people with poor self esteem and perfectionism choose something like anorexia for a feeling of control, so there is clearly a part of you which is healthy and which wants to look after yourself. You could use this part of yourself to look for a therapist or other supportive person to help you deal with the deeper, more serious issues in your life. Best wishes.

 

[HappyYogi]

Don't worry. I won't change those aspects of me as they are a part of me now and this lifestyle/interests suit me and help me.

I just think that part of the reason I delved into them was a way to deal with the pain. That is all.

That may be true for some people, but I wouldn't suggest changing your current health and spiritual habits. This realization should help you focus more on those issues.

 

[roguewave]

It's really great that you realize this and even want to talk about it.

Natural healing, exercise and diet make for great distractions because you can justify it by saying that you are doing something good for yourself (which is true) but at the expense of dealing with the harder issues.

What about doing something that you know you will fail at or purposefully putting yourself in an awkward social situation to practice dealing with feeling out of control?

 

[Tiina63]

What about doing something that you know you will fail at or purposefully putting yourself in an awkward social situation to practice dealing with feeling out of control?
[/quote]

I'm wondering if you are writing from personal experience here. If so, how did you find it? I push myself to go to certain social events which I find very difficult but I don't know if this is the same thing, as although my fear is great, I don't feel completely out of control.

 

[roguewave]

What about doing something that you know you will fail at or purposefully putting yourself in an awkward social situation to practice dealing with feeling out of control?

I'm wondering if you are writing from personal experience here. If so, how did you find it? I push myself to go to certain social events which I find very difficult but I don't know if this is the same thing, as although my fear is great, I don't feel completely out of control.


[/quote]

I've never used these techniques but I know people who have had success with them.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

If you are too busy to fix a problem. Is it really a problem? Many will say that just because you cannot see it doesn't mean it is not there. However, is it really there if you never look in that direction?

 

[HappyYogi]

You said it. It's a great distraction. It gives me a feeling of control. The bigger issues are fear of failure which is so painful for me.

It's really great that you realize this and even want to talk about it.

Natural healing, exercise and diet make for great distractions because you can justify it by saying that you are doing something good for yourself (which is true) but at the expense of dealing with the harder issues.

What about doing something that you know you will fail at or purposefully putting yourself in an awkward social situation to practice dealing with feeling out of control?