If you met a younger version of yourself....

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It's OK that there are no compatible women for you in high school or college.

Use this time to forget women and lift/get in shape, learn a career skill, and a personality skill/something to make you interesting, so that you'll be ready for when you finally DO meet women that you're interested in, attracted to, want to impress and interest, and want to get to know.

PS also forget about "the hot girls". Don't lose sleep over them. The only thing you really like about them is their looks. You don't have anything to talk about with them and wouldn't find hanging out with them that much fun, it would just be a bragging rights thing and that would get old fast, plus I'm not really that kind of person and don't really want to be either. It ISN'T bs that personality is what's more important, because that's what you'll really be with 99% of the time, and that's what it's really all about - being with someone you actually like as a person.
 
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I would tell myself to NOT waste any time and energy trying to get a girl friend. Do everything you can to enjoy being single and find ways to enjoy doing things by yourself. Get your confidence from your career and the things you do NOT from reactions of other people.
 
What advice would you give them with in mind the inevitability of the craziness they'll face during their school life and/or life in general?
Oh my.
What wouldn't I tell my High School self?

1) Lift Weights and eat a very high protein diet so you can gain weight and muscle!
2) Enroll in boxing/fight training classes.
3) Take up a physical sport like rowing.
4) Dump your loser "friends" and stay away from people who put/drag you down.
5) Use your brain! Don't be happy coasting along and not studying at all, settling for a B+ avg and 2nd honors.
6) Shoot for a top tier college. Don't settle for "good". Go for GREAT.
7) Join ROTC in college and do some meaningful, marketable job in the military for a few years.
8) Stay away from alcohol. It only causes problems. Really bad ones.
9) Don't go to prostitutes! Nothing good will ever come of it. If that means you are a virgin until 24 or 25, then so be it. Work on being the guy that women chase, not a wh*re chaser.
10) And most importantly, I would tell myself to remember very carefully, in 2010, buy $5000 worth of something called "bitcoin"...
 
When she invites you over, don't.
And when he says he'll pay, do, even if it doesn't feel right. You'll save yourself loads of headache.
 
There's dozens of things I would fix, but it's mainly common sense stuff: taking the hat off, dressing better, cutting down on the gaming, going the gym, going out more.

But being back in my early 20s would be enough in itself. l almost feel like I'm owed an escape from the present dreadful reality. Which is of course stupid and "entitled" as others like to point out.
 
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l almost feel like I'm owed an escape from the present dreadful reality Which is of course stupid and "entitled" as others like to point out.

I don't think so. I think the people that like to say that, are basically just bullies.

There's a big difference between "tough love", and just kicking someone when they're down, so the person kicking can feel "cool"/tough/superior.

The only way I could accept "life doesn't owe us", is if we got to live forever - because then we'd have forever to figure out how to get what we wanted out of it.

I think the fact that life is temporary and goes by so fast, only makes a case that everyone does deserve happiness in life (except the obvious, like horrible criminals, etc). I feel like the pain we face in life, pre-pays for our happiness. At least that's what I believe.
 
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Way back in grade through high school I would say:

the reason you are unpopular is that you aren't good at anything, and therefore can't give anyone what they want - NOT some kind of cosmic mystical "bad luck". The people who are considered "cool" and "uncool" aren't determined arbitrarily, but by strength and weakness, having what others want - being good at something or not. So the only way out, is to get strong/good at something. I don't like it, and I wish it didn't have to be like this, but there's no other way.

Pay attention to what others are doing, what works for them, and if I don't like their specific answers, just use the general ideas and put my own spin on it. Do my research to find out what options are out there besides the ones I see every day since most of those don't seem to be the answer for me, and do some soul-searching to find what's important to me and what I'm going for. But you have to play the game, love it or hate it, don't drop out and retreat from life just going through the motions, out of thinking it's too hard/you're not good enough/you can't do it, or out of refusal to "conform". That will only lead to more misery.

Also, there's nothing wrong with liking fandoms, but to be relatable, you have to be able to talk about something else. Even "geeky" people want to talk about other things too, and the things that seem to get the most interest from people, are the things we actually do ourselves, NOT just the things we like made by other people.


In college I would say:

Stick with the accounting major, to get a safe secure stable life, and to actually go on the offensive against my problems which take my own money to fix, instead of just passively accepting my problems as "me", which will never work. It doesn't HAVE to turn you into a boring person - just look for a company that values "work life balance".

Continue the exercise I was doing in high school, it's a lot harder to get back into shape than it is to stay in it.

If I haven't already, get good at something cool, so I have something to talk about and so I'm not bored with myself.

Drinking and weed - not the worst, not the best. "Just OK" and not a big deal either way. OK to do here and there, but remember, it is not a conversation piece.

Don't sweat all the nonissues like subcultures, dudebros, bad boys, tastes I don't share, etc. Forget the party scene and the traditionally "hot" sorority type girls. No one is muscling you out of anything and you're not missing out on anything you'd really like anyway.

Don't get into doom-and-gloom stuff about peak oil, capitalism, diseases, and things like that. Don't let your mind run away from you.

And last but not least, don't look for political answers to personal problems. It doesn't have any answers for me. I won't find anything there except more of the same, more of what doesn't work, just going deeper into the victim story.
 
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Ha! I would suggest a running competition.
All the words I wanted to tell her were said in another thread, so only running is left. And let's the strongest win!

Would be cool to beat that younger 😁
 

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