I'm not sure what to do about my friends

[Haven]

I need some advice. I have friends that I met in High school we where a pretty close bunch. We would do everything together. We would hangout after school and on the weekends. I had fun with them we would play video games and go to the theater and see movies. Now all we do is drink and party. Honestly I hate drinking and parties. I find drinking an expensive habit I’m not working at the moment and I don’t like the people I meet at the parties. My friends are party crashers. It’s become hard to do things with them they act like Frat boys without a fraternity. Plus the only thing that comes out of their mouths these days is sex. I don’t date just for sex and for now I’m not looking to date anyone. This morning I found myself planning possible excuses to tell them so they won’t be offended when I don’t go with them next time they invite me out. I guess they grew up without me. They lost interest in video games and movies and moved on to sex and alcohol. Right now they are the only friends I own and I no long have things in common with them. So I’m not sure how I should handle this.

 

[discolemonade]

I think the best thing to do is tell them what you just told us.

I had fun with them we would play video games and go to the theater and see movies. Now all we do is drink and party. Honestly I hate drinking and parties. I find drinking an expensive habit I’m not working at the moment and I don’t like the people I meet at the parties. This morning I found myself planning possible excuses to tell them so they won’t be offended when I don’t go with them next time they invite me out. I guess they grew up without me. They lost interest in video games and movies and moved on to sex and alcohol. Right now they are the only friends I own and I no long have things in common with them.

Just be honest. Ask what happened to the old days. People change, sadly. It sounds like they'd still like to be friends so why not suggest doing some of those old things.

 

[Haven]

When I Invite them to the movies they act like a $10 movie is a bad investment yet they don't mind spending $15-20 on booze which the finish off in one day.

 

[SofiasMami]

I guess they grew up without me. They lost interest in video games and movies and moved on to sex and alcohol.

Hi-
That's an interesting definition of grown up.
This happens to all of us at one time or another. I've had many friends over the years that have I've just grown apart from for one reason or another. It's normal. If I find I don't have anything in common with a friend anymore, then I try to seek out other friends. The group of friends I have now are almost completely different from my friends at 20.
Do you miss your group of friends and still want to hang? Then ask them to an activity that you enjoy. Or just ask one or two of them and see what they say. Who knows, maybe they are sick of drinking and partying too and just afraid to say anything to the group. Good luck!

Teresa

 

[tehdreamer]

Actually, it sounds like you're the one that's grown up and they are still immature. Not that everyone who drinks and parties is immature, but if they can't do things you want to do once in a while, they are just being selfish and childish.

Sometimes you just grow apart from people and your interests change. It might be time to look for a different group of people to hang out with. Try finding a video game club, even a movie club, or a club or group for any other hobby you're in to.

 

[Badjedidude]

Friends sometimes change and grow apart.

It's a natural course of events, and while sad, it shows that you're definitely moving through your life and becoming more (or less) than you were before. A little introspection can confirm your progress in life.

Like I said... it's always sad to lose friends (for whatever reason), but also keep in mind that friendships are fluid things that grow and change just like anything else.

And remember that you can still hang out with them every now and then if you miss them too much.