I'm not sure which is worse

[user 139760]

Either divorce or death ( hire a killer)

Right.
Advocating for murder is always a good thing.
But of course, I'M the bully. I'll just go back to not being hateful towards women in my corner over there.

 

[Mrgb66]

This is half the problem with today's world. Everything thinking they know exactly what everyone else is doing and why they are doing it. Just stop it, people. Think for yourself, not others because you have no idea what they are thinking and why they do what they do.

I tried to emphasize that I no longer care what people do. It was fine talking to them but if they dont I am fine with it. There has been studies shown where in some cases attractive people get better treatment but not in all cases I have seen. Everyone has problems

 

[okidoke]

Right.
Advocating for murder is always a good thing.
But of course, I'M the bully. I'll just go back to not being hateful towards women in my corner over there.

You misread his comment. He was saying that the Americanised bride will try to get rid of you. He wasn’t advocating murder.

 

[user 139760]

You misread his comment. He was saying that the Americanised bride will try to get rid of you. He wasn’t advocating murder.

My bad. Either way though, you think a newly Americanized bride will hire a killer? Gross exageration, worst case.

 

[Unsigned]

My bad. Either way though, you think a newly Americanized bride will hire a killer? Gross exageration, worst case.

Nah.
It takes 3 years to get to that point...the green card waiting period...

 

[Mrgb66]

My bad. Either way though, you think a newly Americanized bride will hire a killer? Gross exageration, worst case.

There was a filipino family that murdered theire own newborn child for insurance money. That was back in 1997.

 

[user 139760]

Nah.
It takes 3 years to get to that point...the green card waiting period...

Well, you can do a real quick google exercise. I just did for giggles.
Type in "woman hires killer for her husband". I only saw two names in news stories, none of which were newly arrived immigrants, in the two three pages I checked.
Now, type the reverse. Man hires killer for wife.
Yup. Lots of names. Just on the first page. Granted, not all in Western countries, but enough to know where the issue really is.
Either way, that kind of talk is utterly counterproductive.
Most moderately sane people don't contemplate murder as a solution to problems.

 

[Unsigned]

Most moderately sane people don't contemplate murder as a solution to problems.

Totally agree.
I was trying to inject some levity into the discussion, but yeah...murder is not something to make light of...

 

[user 139760]

Totally agree.
I was trying to inject some levity into the discussion, but yeah...murder is not something to make light of...

Indeed.
If you want levity though...
Two men are talking at a bar.
"Man, last week I had a terrible fight with my wife. In the end, she crawled to me on her hands and knees"
"Wow, that's pretty impressive! What did she say?"
"Get out from under the bed, you coward."

 

[rrossi97]

I think the main problem on this board is that there are two differing extreme viewpoints. As a rule of thumb, you should generally never listen to the extremes. The truth usually lies somewhere in the middle. One extreme as you mentioned is placing all the blame on the guy. Just because a guy is failing doesn't mean he hates women or isn't trying. It's very possible a guy is doing all he can to improve but is still not having success. It happens. As long as you're doing the best you can, there's no shame in that. The other extreme though is your viewpoint that nothing matters except looks and height. Why would anyone think this? There is no one I know who wants to be in a relationship with someone just for looks. No one I know of wants to be with someone whose personality they dislike. There are so many other factors at play, that boiling it down to just looks and height is very myopic. And then to say that people are gaslighting and victim blaming you when suggesting that there are other factors at play is just weird. Dude, I'm in an even worse position than you. I've never even been married or been in a relationship, so why would I gaslight you?



Case in point. The idea that you will never be able to do something because of looks and height is also a fallacy. Again, both are extremes, and both are wrong. Are there people who will fail all their life despite trying their best because of their looks? Sure. Anything is possible. But are there people who will succeed despite looks and height? Absolutely. It might just take them a lot longer to do so than someone who was born with good looks. While someone with good looks might be successful with 1 out of 3 women he approaches, someone who is short and ugly might only be successful with 1 out of 5000 women he approaches. It might take this person 10, 20, or even 30 years to find someone. Who knows? That's the way the cookie crumbles. Now if you think these odds are unfair, and that's what you're complaining about, and you don't want to try any more because of it, then that's up to you. But to say there's nothing you can do to keep trying and improving your chances is just false. Life isn't meant to be equal, so you've just got to man up. The fact is, you'll never know if you're one of these people who will eventually succeed unless you keep trying. All I know is, if you give up, you've got a zero percent shot of succeeding.

Not trolling here, but you said you’ve never been married or in a relationship? Thinking there’s a lot you can’t speak to on this matter. But some of what you address here is on point. The math at least.

 

[WillPower]

Not trolling here, but you said you’ve never been married or in a relationship? Thinking there’s a lot you can’t speak to on this matter. But some of what you address here is on point. The math at least.

Nope never have been. It’s been a long, hard journey of self-improvement for me. One that continues to this day.

 

[Unsigned]

Nope never have been. It’s been a long, hard journey of self-improvement for me. One that continues to this day.

You seem like you enjoy yourself, regardless of the female situation.
You travel, interview people, go dancing, etc..
I think being single and having fun is much better than having an SO and being miserable. So many couples I see are always arguing in public. That's gotta suck.

 

[WillPower]

You seem like you enjoy yourself, regardless of the female situation.
You travel, interview people, go dancing, etc..
I think being single and having fun is much better than having an SO and being miserable. So many couples I see are always arguing in public. That's gotta suck.

Thanks . It hasn’t always been this way. I used to be in a darker place. Much more depressed. But over the years, I’ve come to the conclusion that happiness shouldn’t depend on finding a significant other. Have to work on yourself first. I have been traveling a lot more these past couple of years and just enjoying life since I have a remote job and am able to do so.

 

[okidoke]

…………I’ve come to the conclusion that happiness shouldn’t depend on finding a significant other……..

Exactly. You become more attractive to others when you don’t need them, probably because they want to know your secret, hoping that it will rub off on them by being around you, or even just wanting to be dependent on such a self sufficient person.

 

[user 139760]

Thanks . It hasn’t always been this way. I used to be in a darker place. Much more depressed. But over the years, I’ve come to the conclusion that happiness shouldn’t depend on finding a significant other. Have to work on yourself first. I have been traveling a lot more these past couple of years and just enjoying life since I have a remote job and am able to do so.

Of course. Of the maybe 4-5 relationships I've had in my life, none came when I was intensely looking. They came sideways, by happenstance. A party, a chance meeting...one of my ex girlfriends was actually an employee of mine when I was a manager, first time I met her she was falling down the stairs on her *** lol. Just enjiy life, focus on being the best person you can be and others will gravitate towards you. That's not only how you fight loneliness, to me, it's also how you meet someone special that enjoys being around you.

 

[ardour]

It can be difficult to see others in happy relationships when we desire the same connection for ourselves. It's important to remember that everyone's journey is different, and it's not productive to compare ourselves to others. Just because you may not have had a chance with this particular person doesn't mean you won't find someone who appreciates and values you in the future.

Instead of dwelling on what you perceive as missed opportunities, try to focus on self-improvement and personal growth. Concentrate on activities and hobbies that bring you joy and fulfillment. By investing in yourself and your own happiness, you increase your chances of meeting someone who shares your interests and appreciates you for who you are.

Remember that attractiveness goes beyond physical appearance, and there are many factors that contribute to a fulfilling relationship. It's essential to develop confidence, pursue personal goals, and maintain a positive outlook. By doing so, you'll become more self-assured and attract people who are compatible with you on multiple levels.

If you're feeling particularly overwhelmed or down, consider reaching out to friends, family, They can provide guidance and help you navigate through these feelings.

This is almost certainly a ChatGPT response. Yes, some people end up dying early in a crumby flat somewhere, having never experienced one iota of affection or validation.