Incel - The Failure of the Modern Man

[DanL53]

In reality, incels are just young guys yet to mature who feel trapped, usually having depression and possibly other issues such as anxiety. The result is to point a finger, blame and to identify with a group and label to reassures their own insecurities, providing a way to feel apart of something and claim victim among like minded individuals.

I have been single all my life due to depression, anxiety, being majorly underweight, not attractive etc... But I fixed all this and hope one day I will find someone nice. I'm not going to childishly sit there and frame an entire gender.

The incel perspective is very destructive and distorted. Everyone who is single and not getting any is involuntarily celibate, incels are not some special case, they just think they are. In reality they are just guys who are insecure and blame others instead of helping them self.

If it weren't for the well known actions and hate speech that comes from Incels...I wouldn't be so upset to encounter them on a forum that could be used for some productive communication.

But there is a reason REDDIT tossed them out.  Hate Group.  Inciting violence.

 

[Quietude]

If it weren't for the well known actions and hate speech that comes from Incels...I wouldn't be so upset to encounter them on a forum that could be used for some productive communication.

But there is a reason REDDIT tossed them out.  Hate Group.  Inciting violence.

This account is actually new as I lost my old one but I have been on this forum a VERY long time. You have to be prepared that you get a lot of very odd, twisted and broken individuals here, but there are some very normal people too who are really nice and just going through a bad time, trying to fix their own issues and seeking advice or wanting to just chat.

Unfortunately you always get those outspoken individuals who really want to see the world burn.

 

[Naizo]

Sigh.

Don't label yourself as dumb **** just because of self fulfilling prophecy.

 

[Rainbows]

If it weren't for the well known actions and hate speech that comes from Incels...I wouldn't be so upset to encounter them on a forum that could be used for some productive communication.

But there is a reason REDDIT tossed them out.  Hate Group.  Inciting violence.

This account is actually new as I lost my old one but I have been on this forum a VERY long time. You have to be prepared that you get a lot of very odd, twisted and broken individuals here, but there are some very normal people too who are really nice and just going through a bad time, trying to fix their own issues and seeking advice or wanting to just chat.

Unfortunately you always get those outspoken individuals who really want to see the world burn.

This is very true and honestly, it allows also for us to broaden our perspective. Most of these people who have a twisted view on things are just broken or hurt and they get fixated on one idea. There's really no point in trying to argue or change their ideas. Just let it wash over you.

Side remark:

If anyone refuses to see that there's still a gap between women and men, you're just fooling yourself. Honestly. Prime example, why do men in the government get to decide what happens to a woman's body if she doesn't want to keep her baby? 

Now. Move on. If you're not a woman or anyone who identifies as a female, you don't get an opinion on this. You clearly cannot experience sexism like this in the same way if you're a dude. Especially if you're a white dude. So don't come on here and tell us that empowering females are the ones to blame for everything. Especially if it comes to your personal failure. 

Get over yourself.

 

[TheRealCallie]

See, this is why I refused to go into what was not factual in the OP and provide information as to why. lol

Incel = just another label people today made up as an excuse to blame someone else.

 

[Naizo]

I agree with Callie in that it's just another label made up as an excuse to blame someone else.

Men absolutely face sexism. But if your definition of sexism is not getting laid just because you want it, then you're an ***.
Sexism against men is more along the lines of court systems giving men the responsibility of paying child support short of nothing other than the mother walking in with a needle in her arm high off of her ***. Men paying that child support to women who spend it on anything but their children, new clothes, etc, while the man then has to pay for things the child needs that they're not getting when it's their time to have the child. I've seen kids of friends come from their mothers house wearing shoes that are too small for them because they either sold the shoes for dope money, or lost them, or just couldn't be asked to give a damn. Believe it or not, some women just aren't fit to be parents. The whole idea of court ordered child support sickens me, tbh. Expecting men to be able to support a family alone in this day and age, whether the parents are together or not. Piling tons of absolute **** onto the back of a man that women just aren't expected to have to deal with. Yes in part because society just doesn't consider it their job, as women, to take care of that ****. Things that actually effect the life and mental/emotional state of a man. There's a double standard for every walk of life, some people just prefer to look the other way when it doesn't effect them personally.

Not getting laid on demand is part of life for everyone. Men and women. Some people just aren't going to want to **** you, no matter how nice or mean you are to them, no matter how much **** you buy them. Some people are gonna **** the lowliest of low doesn't have a job loser they can find because they just love that person.

There are crazy *** women out there who'd love to be in a relationship with guys who hate women. People are ******' weird. Your life isn't over just because you can't get laid though. And if your issue with women is anything other than not being able to get laid then by its very nature, the incel label doesn't fit you. There're just bigger problems with the world than some dude who can't get his **** wet. Really.

 

[DanL53]

If it weren't for the well known actions and hate speech that comes from Incels...I wouldn't be so upset to encounter them on a forum that could be used for some productive communication.

But there is a reason REDDIT tossed them out.  Hate Group.  Inciting violence.

This account is actually new as I lost my old one but I have been on this forum a VERY long time. You have to be prepared that you get a lot of very odd, twisted and broken individuals here, but there are some very normal people too who are really nice and just going through a bad time, trying to fix their own issues and seeking advice or wanting to just chat.

Unfortunately you always get those outspoken individuals who really want to see the world burn.

I am new to this forum but have been on forums of one sort or the other since the days when the internet was something you went to the Campus Computer Lab and some nice Dude typed in the password to the dialup so you could get in.  If you were really lucky, they just gave you the password.

And I know that if a person came on here and identified immediately as KKK, or Nazi, or started spouting Homophobic rhetoric, it would take all of two seconds to have them shouted down and booted out because the tolerance for those very odd, twisted and broken individuals has long since run out.

As it should have.

But when it comes to a group actually advocating female servitude and creating a *** slave industry?  We should be prepared to encounter that?

I'm not.  I'm mortified at how far behind equality for women actually is when they can't even have a Hate Group be despised as well as it would be for other minorities.

 

[TheRealCallie]

If it weren't for the well known actions and hate speech that comes from Incels...I wouldn't be so upset to encounter them on a forum that could be used for some productive communication.

I'm sorry but if you weren't too busy attacking those you deem unworthy to post online, you could actually have productive communication. There is an ignore feature, you could just use that and ignore the **** you don't like.

 

[DanL53]

If it weren't for the well known actions and hate speech that comes from Incels...I wouldn't be so upset to encounter them on a forum that could be used for some productive communication.

I'm sorry but if you weren't too busy attacking those you deem unworthy to post online, you could actually have productive communication.  There is an ignore feature, you could just use that and ignore the **** you don't like.

"He who passively accepts evil....

 

[user 115627]

If anyone refuses to see that there's still a gap between women and men, you're just fooling yourself. Honestly. Prime example, why do men in the government get to decide what happens to a woman's body if she doesn't want to keep her baby? 

Now. Move on. If you're not a woman or anyone who identifies as a female, you don't get an opinion on this. You clearly cannot experience sexism like this in the same way if you're a dude. Especially if you're a white dude. So don't come on here and tell us that empowering females are the ones to blame for everything. Especially if it comes to your personal failure. 

Get over yourself.

You're right, we should fill the government with 50% women or only let female politicians decide what happens to a woman's body. Oh wait, but please no Sarah Palin's...isn't that right? You know there's a fault in that line of argument. You want the right and I'm actually okay if you get it. Yet I don't think you would disagree much if men in the government made that choice in your favor, but you surely would still oppose it if it was the "wrong kind" of women deciding against it.

Then again, it's exactly the mindset that also believes men at the top make decisions in the interests of men in the middle and at the bottom. Because men are a homogeneous group that acts in the collective interest of men. Yeah, we cannot experience the same kind of sexism. We have our own share of sexism to deal with. Maybe you are just talking like that because you despise genuine sexists, justifiably so, but it always carries a general disdain that extends to all men like we are involved in some kind of grand conspiracy - something I'm allergic to.

 

[Ecclesiastes]

I am an incel.

And to put it bluntly, incels are failed men. 

How does a man fail?  He doesnt acquire everything that is necessary to be the backbone of a family.  Incels fail miserably at this.  Women, who they need as a wife and mother to their children, ignore them.  They cant find good paying jobs if they can find one at all.  And they never really mature socially as they spend most of their lives isolated, much of the time involuntarily.

With the push for more women in the workplace and less stay at home moms, a balance that existed for decades is now upside down.  Many higher paying jobs that would normally go to men now go to women.  What happened to the men who normally would have gotten those higher paying jobs?  They can't be stay at home moms.  Their only option is to become incels.  The women who now have these higher paying jobs are not interested in incels, as they riightfully see them as failed men.  The difference though is men with higher paying jobs are far more likely to get into a relationship with women who make much less money then them, because these women can be the mothers they need to start a family which helps them succeed as men.  An incel has no value as a man to a successful woman because he has nothing to offer her, except companionship.  The problem with that is in the modern world everything is treated like a financial transaction.   And if someone doesnt offer enough value back for what someone perceives their own value to be, they arent interested.  Clicking with someone's personality seems to be worth very little nowadays.

This is one of the major reasons why birthrates are plummeting in places like Japan.  The modern success story of the working woman has created a new class of failed men, incels.  Men who work poverty level jobs and look ugly to average, but with no hope of a woman ever taking them in, a hope only females in their situation have.

My family is proof of this.  I have 4 brothers and 5 sisters.  2/4 of the men are chronically unemployed.  Im poverty level working a $9/hr job and have struggled to find jobs, going long stretches unemployed.  So 3/4 of us men are incels.  I have one brother who makes good money.  And guess what.  Hes in a long term relationship because hes not seen as a failed man.  My sisters?  4/5 make over 50k a year and have never faced unemployment.  They're also single.  They cant find a man who is up to their standards.  It bothers them a bit but not too much because they are financially independent and get male validation and support from their orbitors and brothers.  My other sister?  She makes little money, like me.  Yet she is never single, because men who are above her in status and wealth see her as a possible mother for his family.

Incels are here to stay.  If you help pull one group up, your gonna push another one down.  Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

Women working is not why men are incels and working low level jobs. You work low level jobs because you choose to not look for better opportunities or improve yourself. Most women work in nursing, administration, and things of that nature. I think very few are high level corporate types. Also, men do a lot of high paying, dangerous jobs that women would never go into, so there's an entire market right there to take advantage of.

 

[user 115627]

I noticed you edited part of it out now, but I was just about to respond to it...

Women working is not why men are incels and working low level jobs. You work low level jobs because you choose to not look for better opportunities or improve yourself. Most women work in nursing, administration, and things of that nature. I think very few are high level corporate types. Also, men do a lot of high paying, dangerous jobs that women would never go into, so there's an entire market right there to take advantage of.

It's funny how gay men can become succesful and acquire wealth and independence and they aren't blaming women for losing out on jobs.

I agree that men are not Incels because women are working. I don't think this phenomenon would have taken over half a century to get rolling, considering how long ago women have been added the workforce. Some men may choose to stay in low level jobs, but the real question is why they make that choice and what motivating factor might be lacking. A combination of choice and necessity perhaps. The average man is neither a dare-devil who goes into high-paying dangerous jobs nor a high level workaholic corporate type, even if there might be more men who choose these paths over women.

Gay men are not exempt from accusations of misogyny though and their position in this debate might be uncertain in the future due to their male privilege and connection to the patriarchy. Just my conjecture as an observer of these matters.

 

[TheSkaFish]

You're right, we should fill the government with 50% women or only let female politicians decide what happens to a woman's body. Oh wait, but please no Sarah Palin's...isn't that right? You know there's a fault in that line of argument. You want the right and I'm actually okay if you get it. Yet I don't think you would disagree much if men in the government made that choice in your favor, but you surely would still oppose it if it was the "wrong kind" of women deciding against it.

Then again, it's exactly the mindset that also believes men at the top make decisions in the interests of men in the middle and at the bottom. Because men are a homogeneous group that acts in the collective interest of men. Yeah, we cannot experience the same kind of sexism. We have our own share of sexism to deal with. Maybe you are just talking like that because you despise genuine sexists, justifiably so, but it always carries a general disdain that extends to all men like we are involved in some kind of grand conspiracy - something I'm allergic to.

+1

 

[Joturbo]

Most of what you said is not very accurate....

No, I have no desire to say what or why because I really don't see the point in it.  I also don't really see the point in this thread, given that it's nearly identical to your last.

Its a theory I have with some personal and world evidence evidence to back it up.  Im just looking for why me and so many other men are in the positions we are now.  Trying to make sense of it, to help cope.

I am an incel.

And to put it bluntly, incels are failed men. 

How does a man fail?  He doesnt acquire everything that is necessary to be the backbone of a family.  Incels fail miserably at this.  Women, who they need as a wife and mother to their children, ignore them.  They cant find good paying jobs if they can find one at all.  And they never really mature socially as they spend most of their lives isolated, much of the time involuntarily.

With the push for more women in the workplace and less stay at home moms, a balance that existed for decades is now upside down.  Many higher paying jobs that would normally go to men now go to women.  What happened to the men who normally would have gotten those higher paying jobs?  They can't be stay at home moms.  Their only option is to become incels.  The women who now have these higher paying jobs are not interested in incels, as they riightfully see them as failed men.  The difference though is men with higher paying jobs are far more likely to get into a relationship with women who make much less money then them, because these women can be the mothers they need to start a family which helps them succeed as men.  An incel has no value as a man to a successful woman because he has nothing to offer her, except companionship.  The problem with that is in the modern world everything is treated like a financial transaction.   And if someone doesnt offer enough value back for what someone perceives their own value to be, they arent interested.  Clicking with someone's personality seems to be worth very little nowadays.

This is one of the major reasons why birthrates are plummeting in places like Japan.  The modern success story of the working woman has created a new class of failed men, incels.  Men who work poverty level jobs and look ugly to average, but with no hope of a woman ever taking them in, a hope only females in their situation have.

My family is proof of this.  I have 4 brothers and 5 sisters.  2/4 of the men are chronically unemployed.  Im poverty level working a $9/hr job and have struggled to find jobs, going long stretches unemployed.  So 3/4 of us men are incels.  I have one brother who makes good money.  And guess what.  Hes in a long term relationship because hes not seen as a failed man.  My sisters?  4/5 make over 50k a year and have never faced unemployment.  They're also single.  They cant find a man who is up to their standards.  It bothers them a bit but not too much because they are financially independent and get male validation and support from their orbitors and brothers.  My other sister?  She makes little money, like me.  Yet she is never single, because men who are above her in status and wealth see her as a possible mother for his family.

Incels are here to stay.  If you help pull one group up, your gonna push another one down.  Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

Yea lol ..the first para sounds just like me but I'm married
except i dont like the term failed....

I'm not really the backbone
My wife ignores me alot...
My job has always been a rubbish payer
Yea and everyone here knows i didnt mature socially and am isolated..ALOT

I suggest to try and enjoy your life because honestlly being single sounds very attractive to me and being married i feel single most of the time anyway because being married is not running through long grass holding hands..its very hard work and because of kids,mortgages,bills etc i've never had any money.Fill your boots i dunno go travelling ...buy a speedboat...have fun while you've got the ability and health too...sorry bit preachy.

This is my last post here for long time so ta ta 

Having a wife validates a man.  Single women want validation from men as well.  The key difference though is that single women usually have the opportunity to marry or have a boyfriend if they so wish.  They usually have no shortage in men asking them out or showing them attention, they just havent found one yet they want to settle down with. Thats a big psychological lift.  For many incel men, that opportunity isnt even present.  And hasnt been for years,  if not their entire lives.

It seems you dont have a great marriage and your telling me being single is better.  Its like telling someone who walks 10 miles to work everyday not to make a big deal out of getting a car,  because the car he has has chronic problems.

I definitely dont think Im built for 'the single life'.  I know some men and women who at least appear to want to be single.  I'm not one.  I've always loved being around people.  Growing up I was probably the only kid who didnt care about having to share a bedroom.  I always prefer to do things with people instead of by myself.

But I'll take your advice.  I'll try to get back into one of my hobbies to help get my mind off this.

Hi Michael. Look i know i said my last post but i really hate loose ends i'm really ocd that way.I apologise for being flippant with your situation but it just sounded so simalar as to how i was feeling at the time.My marriage is great but thats because i have an amazing wife and she is very social and has alot of friends so we spend alot of time apart as well as together .

But i do remember the pain of being single after the girl before left me so i think i can understand how frustrating  life must be as time goes on.I do remember however pulling out all the stops to find another girlfriend and just not giving up which i suppose in my infantile way (not highly educated), i was trying to put across just getting out and doing stuff , meeting new people to increase the oppurtunities to meet that special one.Anyway hope you read this and best of luck in finding happiness.

 

[Naizo]

Really starting to think a lot of these dudes calling themselves "Incel" are just lonely dudes who don't have any better term to go with.

If your options for self labeling are between "Crazy guy" and none, go with none.

When people say just be yourself, they don't mean just be yourself to try and get a woman. They mean just be yourself and live your life, ****'ll come your way in its own time.

 

[AmyTheTemperamental]

When people say just be yourself, they don't mean just be yourself to try and get a woman. They mean just be yourself and live your life, ****'ll come your way in its own time.

THANK YOU

 

[Naizo]

When people say just be yourself, they don't mean just be yourself to try and get a woman. They mean just be yourself and live your life, ****'ll come your way in its own time.

THANK YOU

It's an easier mistake to make, and one I made for a few years. *Shrug*

 

[michael2]

Really starting to think a lot of these dudes calling themselves "Incel" are just lonely dudes who don't have any better term to go with.

If your options for self labeling are between "Crazy guy" and none, go with none.

When people say just be yourself, they don't mean just be yourself to try and get a woman. They mean just be yourself and live your life, ****'ll come your way in its own time.

33 years.  Nothing's come my way.  And I've done more then just be myself.  Got into shape.  Got great clothes.  Nothing changed.  I'm still invisible to women romantically.  Thousands of women have interacted with me over the years.  Not one ever cared.  Just think about that.  Thousands.  And not one . Ever.

Incels saved me.  For the longest time I wished I could have my desire to be in a loving relationship with a woman burned out of my mind permanently because it was an itch I could not scratch.  It haunted me and tore at my soul for so long.

  Incels showed me just how mean and cruel women are to ugly or average guys like me, while at the same time worshipping Chads.  They made me dislike them.  Hate them even.  Now I don't care about a relationship with them.  Not a single good one exists.  They are only good to Chad or fake it to an average guy like me if they are desperate enough in their 30s when Chad isn't interested anymore.

I'm so done with seeking female approval.    The next time one interacts with me she's getting the same ****** treatment they've given me all my life.  They like the bad *******?  That's what they'll get

 

[Naizo]

Yeah I think you missed the point if you did all that expecting something out of it. No one owes you anything, ever, for any reason. Even if you go out of your way to help them.

It's not anyone's job to validate you, dude. Live your life the best you can. All of that just sounds like you're a disgruntled teenager. You shouldn't be going through puberty at 33+ years old.

Women didn't "make" you do anything. People don't make you do anything, definitely not feel things. Your feelings are on you.

It isn't mean or cruel to not want to interact with someone. If it were so, I'd be "mean" or "cruel" to women who flirt with me but I turn them down because I don't trust women. The reality is I have trust issues.

And no offense, but if your reaction to not getting what you want is to hate, then they're probably correct to not want to engage with you in a relationship because that's not a healthy way to respond.

Women aren't "Women" and Men aren't "Men"

We're human beings. And I'm sure there are plenty of women out there who somehow find a way to blame men for not wanting to be with them. It's equally as childish.

 

[kaetic]

Yeah I think you missed the point if you did all that expecting something out of it. No one owes you anything, ever, for any reason. Even if you go out of your way to help them.

It's not anyone's job to validate you, dude. Live your life the best you can. All of that just sounds like you're a disgruntled teenager. You shouldn't be going through puberty at 33+ years old.

Women didn't "make" you do anything. People don't make you do anything, definitely not feel things. Your feelings are on you.

It isn't mean or cruel to not want to interact with someone. If it were so, I'd be "mean" or "cruel" to women who flirt with me but I turn them down because I don't trust women. The reality is I have trust issues.

And no offense, but if your reaction to not getting what you want is to hate, then they're probably correct to not want to engage with you in a relationship because that's not a healthy way to respond.

Women aren't "Women" and Men aren't "Men"

We're human beings. And I'm sure there are plenty of women out there who somehow find a way to blame men for not wanting to be with them. It's equally as childish.

I wish I could give rep for this...

+1