Issues going on

[WallflowerGirl83]

I don't feel as I connect with my family at all. Anytime I speak, my mother speaks over me and puts the attention back on my younger brother. I never feel as if I'm being heard, hate bottling it up so I have to get this out. Ever since I was younger I was always the child that got ignored or made fun of. My brothers were pretty vicious to me growing up. When I went through depression and still suffering from this day, she doesn't seem to give me any comfort. It's simple to her, move on, brush it under the rug and let it rot. No. I refuse to do that, I hate suffering. I'm tired of beating myself up cause I didn't turn out the way she wanted me too. Her favorites are my brothers, I'm the middle child. So in her eyes I'm the rebel, cause I speak my mind and don't sugar coat things. I act out in kindness yes but to my family there's nothing but frustration. I don't feel as if I belong and maybe I never will. Does anyone else feel like a black sheep in there family? I hope I'm not the only one. cause it's stressing me out so badly right now.

 

[perfanoff]

Aww, I'm sorry flower. I hope at least your brothers wise up when they grow older.. or that you will find somebody to BE your family and treat you like a flower

 

[pumpkin-soup]

my mother, my uncle
is that who made me?
am i just a rotten piece of fruit
from my family tree?
what will the future hold?
who knows?
all i know
is my family grows

-Dr. Steve Brule

It's just something from a comedy show I love but I feel like I'm a piece of rotten fruit from my family tree. My family situation or problem is different from yours but I often feel like a failure of all siblings. Almost like a burden.
I think the thing is mothers or your family members are only human too, and they cannot always be good at what they do either like being a good mother. It's sad when a mother can't show equal attention and affection to all her children.. but I heard somewhere long time ago, some parents naturally prefer opposite sex sometimes. It's weird and I dunno if it's true, but it can happen I guess. Also some people just don't get some things. It's not easy to understand how it's like to be truly depressed if you haven't experienced it, so sometimes talking with someone who can't understand it may make you feel kind of worse. You can't accept they'd understand everything of what you're going through, even if they are your family..

I'm sorry to hear about your situation though.

 

[SophiaGrace]

You? Speak your mind? You aren't abrasive. I think you are kind and sweet.

 

[Among the Sleep]

I can relate. From a different angle, though...problem is I've been pushing my family away for years because I've been depressed. I'm at a point where it's literally awkward to like, say hi to my parents sometimes even though we live in the same house, cause our relationship has grown so strangely distant. My family has a lot of teachers in it, some really straight laced, well to do people and that's never been me. But I got depressed and started doing drugs when i was about 16...I went through the rebellious phase that a lot of teenagers go through, but mine was pretty bad. I think I put a wall up between me and them because I have trouble accepting love, especially if I don't feel like I deserve it. But my parents don't understand that. The way they see it I'm just ungrateful, and I blow them off, push them away and they probably think I don't care much about them when nothing is further from the truth. But when I'm unhappy I tend to isolate myself. I'm uncomfortable with close relationships. So I really have a lot of guilt over the way I've pushed them and my sister away cause they don't understand why and there's no easy way of talking about it.

 

[pumpkin-soup]

I think I put a wall up between me and them because I have trouble accepting love, especially if I don't feel like I deserve it. But my parents don't understand that. The way they see it I'm just ungrateful, and I blow them off, push them away and they probably think I don't care much about them when nothing is further from the truth. But when I'm unhappy I tend to isolate myself. I'm uncomfortable with close relationships. So I really have a lot of guilt over the way I've pushed them and my sister away cause they don't understand why and there's no easy way of talking about it.

I can relate to you about what you wrote there. I guess it's understandable when they get upset and think you just don't appreciate their fond feelings though. It's just natural reaction I suppose... It's hard to let people understand things, especially sensitive, emotional subjects. Especially love is complicated and hard to understand. It's like the thing called love is handmade and homemade by every single human being, so they are all different and one of a kind, and everybody show it differently in their own unique way that it can get really hard to see and feel it too. You may never understand someone's way of showing affection.

 

[ajdass1]

I don't really have any advice for you but your post made me reflect on my own experiences, so I'm just going to share and maybe it will help? Anyway.

When I was younger my elder sister was always the golden child... she got good grades, she was good at having friends, she was an amazing dancer, she was always active, her health was better than mine. To my parents I"m sure I came off as fat, lazy, too introverted for my own good, an underachiever. My dad has always been really distant and never really connected with me, and my mom was really busy with my sister's dancing, so as a kid I was left on my own a lot. I didn't have friends in the neighbourhood. I would anxiously wait for my parents to get home, to the extent that whenever a car went by outside I'd rush to see if they were back. There was eventually a turning point where I figured out how to entertain myself (i.e. by playing computer games all day) and started dreading their return because then there would be people around and I"d be forced to interact with them. To clarify, there's no way in hell I was neglected or anything like that, I've been very privileged. But I was alone an awful lot, and combined with the fact that I never did get on well with other kids (and the ones I did click with seemed to always be moving away), I wound up feeling very alienated and unable to communicate with anyone about anything until very recently.

In particular during my A-levels (16-17 years old) I was going through a lot of things, I was super depressed and self harming. I don't know what happened. My dad, of course, only saw that I was not performing well at school and that was his main concern. My mom - I have no idea. She knew something was wrong but we never communicated. I didn't know how to handle it - how could I? And I think she was feeling overwhelmed about my situation, too. I had some bad health problems at the time, too, which meant I went from chubby to nearly emaciated. It's not like they didn't love me, there was just this huge dead zone where nobody was communicating with anyone else, nobody knew what was going on, and nothing got dealt with in the rush to just get on with everyday life.

I don't know... it's all very confusing.

 

[Brantill]

No doubt problem are come in every relation but we need to take care of our relation because some relations are very important in our life . End of relation is not the solution of the problem we need to find out some better solution of problems .What are your opinion about it .


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