Kiss rejected on the second date. Advice?

[ScionOfTheSouthland]

Last week, I went on a first date. My last date before that one was six years ago (I was in middle school at that time). I'm a 19 year old college freshman. I'm a virgin and I've never kissed a girl. After facing rejection after rejection in high school, I was demoralized. It was a pleasant surprise, then, when the first girl I got the courage to ask out in college said yes. The first date went well. We ate dinner and held hands on the way home. It's tonight's date that distresses me.

We had dinner and coffee. It was only awkward once when I tried complimenting her. I'm very conservative with how many compliments I give out; I never want to sound like I'm just blowing air. I told her she was beautiful. And she is. I wasn't exaggerating anything when I said that. There was a silence after I said that. I tried without success to say something to resume normal conversation. She eventually said something to resume our small talk, and the date resumed pleasantly.

We didn't hold hands tonight. It was cold outside, and so her hands we're in her jacket pocket. I had resolved to at least try to kiss her by the end of the date. When we got to her door, I leaned into the kiss. I was stopped when I heard her say "not yet." I responded with a "I'm sorry." I then said, "talk to you later?". I caught her completely off guard with the whole kiss attempt. She rushed to the door and gave me a curt "bye" before closing the door behind her.

So my question is, what should I do now? I still like the girl. I just don't want seem desperate. I also know that I'll probably be heartbroken if this whole thing goes south. Then again, what if this whole thing could work out and I just threw it away because of my fears and anxieties? As you can probably tell from my disjointed thoughts, I'm very torn and ambivalent towards the whole situation. I'm sad because I feel I've been rejected on some level, yet I'm also a little proud that at least I was able to get enough courage to take the risk of kissing someone else. The mere thought of kissing this girl made me anxious all throughout the day.

In summary, should I ask this girl out again? Or is it clear she isn't interested and I should give up on this one particular girl?[/size]

 

[SophiaGrace]

Oh no…you were making her feel uncomfortable. She didn't want any of your advances.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Seriously? Why is kissing her so soon such a big deal to you? It seems like this girl has some strong ethics and moral code she lives by if she told you "not yet" to a kiss. No offence, you're at that age, once it starts you want to keep doing it, and she probably wants to make sure you aren't just one of those horny teenage guys who are trying to get into her pants.

Don't force it, let it happen naturally. You've only been on two dates.

 

[Danielle]

I agree with the others.... she's just not ready. Ask her out again, have fun and don't worry about the physical stuff yet.

 

[Amthorn]

Honestly, it sounds like the chemistry is not there. Sorry man.

 

[ABrokenMan]

It's hard to ascertain if she is really shy, or not feelin' the chemistry, as they say.
One would need to see the girl IRL, body language from shy people often masks their shyness, and comes off as disinterest.
Personally, I'd have kept the fact that she is beautiful to myself. Perfectly OK to think that, but it seems way to soon to start piling on compliments of that nature, especially if she is unsure, or shy. The only safe compliment for a second date is telling her you had a great time with her, and hope that you could do it again soon.

 

[Tiina63]

Maybe she felt a bit pressured or rushed? She might want to take things more slowly. Maybe next time, if you go out with her again, you could keep things a bit 'lighter.'

 

[Yamira]

I don't see it as a bad thing. She went on a second date with you so that means she's interested. Some want to not rush into things too fast or want to prevent that it's just seen as only sex... So don't worry, meet her again and try again a few dates later...

 

[ardour]

You were a bit..overeager...and telling her she's beautiful on the second date is too 'full on'. Unfortunately you've made her uncomfortable. The good news is if she likes you enough she'll probably forget about it. Just let her initiate from now on.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Why have such a resolve to kiss someone? How about, the next date (with whoever), you just try to have a nice time. Certain things can't be forced. Forced usually means uncomfortable, and uncomfortable tends to make people pull away.