let's discuss

[oopsiedoop]

this could fit in to several of these forums, so i just put it here, the most general one i guess.

http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2011/30293.html

personally, i never understood this "if you love yourself, others will follow" thing. i like a lot of things about myself. in fact, i seek those qualities in others. so what am i doing wrong? why can't i find others who have those qualities, seek them in others, and find them in me? that's one part of the question.

the other is how far is this thinking supposed to go? am i supposed to find the same kind of completeness alone than i do with someone else? how could that even be possible? someone else always adds something -- sometimes negative, sometimes positive. but how could it possibly be exactly the same as being alone? and is it supposed to be? then what's the point? no, it's always going to either enhance or detract from that experience. what's wrong with feeling like you want that enhancement that can ONLY come from someone ADDING to your experience, and doesn't it follow that you will suffer its lack if you don't have it? yeah, being alone is a very interesting and worthwhile experience, but not the only interesting and worthwhile one, for god's sake. so i'm logically going to feel a lack if it's the only one i've got.

 

[Sci-Fi]

What an utter steaming pile of poop that article was. I doubt the person who wrote it even knew what they were talking about. It honestly sounds like the droppings people spew when talking about a subject they know little about or have no interest in. "The Universe Wants You To Be Happy" Bullturd, the universe could care less about if you are happy or not. If the Universe really cared none of us would be hear and none of us would have to deal with the crap that comes our way.

I'm sorry if I offend anyone with my opinion but that's what I thought after reading that.

To answer some of your questions, it's really not about finding completeness in being alone, but finding yourself, who you are and who you want to be and what you want. I think it is utterly impossible to find completeness alone, like you said people bring in something, positive or negative, positive being better. Whether it's a boy/girl friend or a friend you can confide in, or someone to talk to and get it all out. As human beings we need that social interaction, we crave it, sometimes to a point where it depresses us when we don't have it. It's why a lot of us are here, to find like minded people we can talk to, people who understand what we are going through.

 

[tedgresham]

I agree with Si-Fi, pretty much. People who walk around with bouncy smiles, waving daisies, and saying **** like, "Remember, the Universe wants you to be happy" really piss me off. What the hell do they know? This kind of stuff usually comes from what we might call "fortunate people," those with the bubbles and grins personality that float above reality like a helium balloon. Ugh. I want to get out a pin and go POP!

I doubt there is such a thing as "completeness." What does that mean, anyway? Perfection? ********. There are moments in everyone's life that blink on for a second when all the world is perfect but those are rare and fleeting. The difference between the "fortunate people" and those down in the muck is that they've lived a charm life or they are very skilled at hypnotizing themselves into believing **** smells like roses.

Lonely is not just the province of the loner or person alone. It strikes all kinds of people and is natural. Being literally alone and feeling/being what some might call a "social outcast" magnifies our loneliness and tears the hell out of our self worth. There's the thing. Again like Si-Fi said, "it's really not about finding completeness in being alone, but finding yourself, who you are and who you want to be and what you want." We have to do that. But then we have to look at the real world and figure out how we can get those things, if we can, or how we can adjust when we can't. This is all psychological ********, right? Sure, but it's kind'a true. Much more so than the idiotic flower-power **** in that article. I can tell you one thing, if my "spirit" started telling me stuff like that I'd tell it to **** off.

Never forget different is not wrong. We're not "wrong" or "bad" or "worthless" just because we do not fit in. Discover who you are, catalog your differences, list your good and bad qualities, and see yourself as worth something, worth exactly as much as every other human, not more or less. I figure if people shy away from me it's them who are missing out. I am very loyal, respectful, a good friend when I have the opportunity. If someone wants to reject me because I have long hair or drive an old van or don't believe their religious ********, their problem. Be who you are. Somewhere there's someone else who will value that. I'd rather have one or two friends who are true, or be by myself even, than be a floater in a happy party full of silly people.

I don't know if this makes sense but it does to me. Weird, huh?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I've been in recovery for a long time. I attend support groups and work the 12 steps program.
The 12 steps is a spiritual program...not a religion. Everyone have thier own idea of what
spirituality is.


The 12 steps is about changing...

Most new poeple that attend support groups are...well, not too well.
Weahter they were person doing the drugs/drinking or family/partner...both where
in the strom of dysfunctional...mentally, emtonally and spiritually bankrupt.
As its termed....Reecovery language.
A person might suffer from PTDS. Lots of emotional manipulation, love stravations,
Chaos, physical violent, abuse...that happens in a dysfunctional home or a toxic
relationship..

NOTICE the article say "CARRY AROUND IDEAS SUBCONSIOUSLY".
The article use poverty as an example.
If we grew up in a dysfunctional environment...we also had been programmed
with many other ideas...such as LOVE EARNING, GUILT, SHAME..etc..etc.
Over time these programming gets reinforce and becomes our beliefs.

Many members on here had also mentioned....
It's self fulfilling prophecy.
We live in accordance to our beliefs....
We actually give other people instructions to treat us...

Example..if we belief our lifes suck and we'll be lonely forever...
Notice the many threads...about VIBES?
Some people spread that negative ******** like a fucken disease.


I've written many, many times about letting go of unworkable beliefs or ideas.
Our beliefs/ideas are the CUASE. Our behaviors are the EFFECTS.

I've also mentioned in your other thread...
"YOU ARE COMPLETE, PEREFECT and WHOLE ALREADY"
This might be a NEW beliefs and idea to you?????

The reason I've written this for you is to kind da get you to think or open up your mind.
The reason is..to get you to know...there's nothing wrong with you.
Our self esteem...you're self worth. The way you look at ourself.

This beliefs and idea....is not NEW.
It might be NEW to you.
It just depends of you were taught this or programmed with this idea/beliefs.

If you believe that you'll never be complete...that's how you will live.
Again....our beliefs is CUASE. Our behaviors are the EFFECTS.
In other words....get to the ROOT of it.
Work it from the inside out.
Dig out old unworkable ideas and beliefs..
Plant NEW SEEDS ...ideas and beliefs to work for you instead of against you.

The idea of SEEKING or LOOKING for a partner is that your from a state of LACK..
You might of heard " SEEK and you will FIND". You might had ran with this idea.
However if you're in the behavior of seeking...you're not in HAVING.

Would you rather seek ?
Or would you rather HAVE?

Gratitude is a state of HAVING.
Practice gradtitude everyday...This will asist you out the state of LACK.
It will change your preception and attitude of life...
That same old saying...
Is the glass half full or half empty?
It's your perception...

However...we are own worst enemy.
Some people have have limited thinking or narrow minded.
We are prisoners of our own rules or limitted ideas and beliefs.
We will agree with those with same ideas and beliefs...As I stated, we give other people instructions how to treat us..
In other words we are attracted to people,places and things that's about as sick or as well as we are. The LAW of Atttaction is neutural.

Another way of looking at life is...It's over flowing with love and abondance..
The glass is overflowing...more than enough love, more than enough wealth.
I'm more than enough. I'm more than good enough.

Notice...how I'll always say...The get the pretty chicks.
This beliefs is deeply ingrainned inside of me...It's at a subconcious level.
All my life...I've been with beautiful women. All my life beautiful woman make themsleves available to me or asked me out.

Will...I Love Renae very much...She completes me.
I'm grateful for her love.

You know how I say she's my fiance.

We can change our beliefs anytime we want...
However we must always be mindful...we're constantly being programmed
through..the media, other people's ideas and beliefs....ect.ect

One of spiritual principle is to listen but dont buy into it.
One can listen to others ideas or beliefs...but one have a chioce to believe in it or not.
In other words...everyone have opinions and perceptions of life.
What holds true from someone else...dosnt necessary holds true for you.

Do what works for you....

I'll start changing what I say and believe.
SHES IS MY WIFE.
This puts me into a state of HAVING already.
I see us married already. I feel that we're married already...

It's the same principle as when people try to loose wieght.
To visualize themselves being skinny, sexy and in good health already.
To allow themselve to feel that feelings of HAVING already.

Do this everyday....after time we will be carrying this new beliefs subconsiously.


We live in accordance to our beliefs.
I can use this process to work for me or against me.

We have a duaghter together already.
Our hopes and dreams is to have a loving home for our children to come home to.
We're both are in the process of putting our lives in motion to that.
Creating our hopes and dreams...in other words we're both brain storming
at the moment...kind of like going into a bsuiness meeting sharing ur ideas.
Working for a common goal. Our Love, our relationship, our home, our children.

Btw..The girl in my signature is our daughter Kimmie

 

[Naleena]

Wanting someone to share your life and love you doesn't necessarily mean you don't love yourself. The two should not be confused. Loving yourself isn't just your job, it's the job of everyone in your life. What do you need others for if not to love you and for you to love them in return? I'm not talking of just romantic love here. I also find it interesting that no one ever offers a definition of what that exactly means.

There are people in this world who do not know how to love who they are because they were never loved as children. They need to be taught and shown love because they can't go "learn to love yourself."
What is being said by saying until you love yourself you will not be loved? It's saying you are unloveable UNTIL you learn to love who you are. Horse ****. Everyone is loveable and worthy of love whether they can see that or not. It is our job to love others and others job to love us. No man is an island unto himself.

 

[SkuzzieMuff]

Lol, when sci-fi said the article was bad, THEN I was interested.

That is a really ****** article. "reach down, deep inside, and pull out your soul potato." is what I've used over the years to describe **** like this.

If you're comfortable and confident with yourself, people will be more interested in you. It's body language. If you stand awkwardly off to the side, no one will notice you, or if they do, they'll see the downer that you are and probably wont approach you. But if you're participating in the party, talking to people and having a good time, you're more likely to be noticed, and people like happy energy. If you're in a relationship, and you're constantly complaining about your appearance, your partner will not only find it annoying, but unattractive. I've heard many men say that there's nothing more sexy than a woman who is comfortable in her own skin. Now, trust me, I understand how hard that is, but I've heard it many times from many different men.

And being happy by yourself is as simple as having hobbies. Keep yourself busy and interested. Especially keep learning, and you shouldn't get bored.

 

[jjam]

These are dark times for love and friendships.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Its a simple fact that my thoughts and feelings comes from with inside of me....

I simply allow myself to feel Im LOVED like the way Needed to be LOVED ans want to be LOVED...

This is the self supporting part.
That I know how to generate positve thoughts , feelings and happiness within myself.. Its just simple habits.
Self love, taking care of myself first. Be the light of my own two feet...

I just do it 5 mins @ a time.
An hour @ a time.
Or a day @ a time.

Im not reacting to life
all the time. Im responding with proactive habits

So Im walking around feeling good and Loved already...Then Renae calls..
Im in a good mood. Its contagious.
I make her smile and luagh. She tells me She loves me very much...which triggers more positve feelings or adds on more love. Its been a healing process for both of us...

The next step is to pass this love and wisdom on to our children.

Kimmie needs to know shes LOVED no matter what. Its difinitely not romance love for my duaghter.
Its Unconditiona Love. .

 

[gnome3]

I thought the article was ok. Not good nor bad - just ok. Not really my thing. I don't know about the 'universe loving me' thing. From what I understand about Buddhism: At the moment of enlightenment, one would basically be freed from the continuous cycle of death & rebirth. In other words, one's mind becomes either part of everything - or nothing.
* The reason I bring this up is because... IF the universe really loves me, it may be due to the universe being made up of enlightened beings or minds which are now all part of the universe? I just don't know (shaking my head).
All I do know is that I wish it weren't so difficult to find that true 'life partner'. I have many people in my life that really like me, and some that probably love me as well. I just wish I could find that 'one' person to share my life with. If I could, I think I would be happier. Easier said than done. Hugs to all.

 

[Felix]

well loving yourself is essential to feeling good spiritually but for social life is not.

I mean, it's a desirable quality, but I know low self steem people with friends.

Also, it's the first step, you have to find a awy to comunicate with the world... just loving youurself doesn't do all the job.

 

[Ak5]

Truth: Tl;dr

First off, we are wired to be together socially; through physical and spiritual. So no, acting happy won't bring you happy.

Hippies are an excellent example of articles like these. No offense to anyone hippie, but it's kind of weird to being happy-go-lucky, flower and a lot of love with a lot of people, kind of thing. If it fit's your needs, go for it! We're all different and react differently.

Some people have built themselves (psychological) a "box" that they live in emotionally. I know one of these types of people. Sure they're all love, and kindness and happiness but at the end of the day they are just plain annoying and sometimes mean.

Oh well, enough rambling on.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Will AK5...you threw a blanket over anyone of your own experince or perception
of what happy poeple are to you. You believe it to be so so true for
yourself.

For all I know the especific person your talking about had been high all freaken
day on a controlled substance and was coming down feeling a little on edge.lol
Wearing a tie dyed T-shirt from a dime store to look cool....

Why are they annoying to you?
Cauase thier happy all of the fucken time and you feel like **** most of the time?

I also believe...most hippies were in thier 20s in the 1960s...basically baby boomers.
if you do simple freaken math...those people are in thier 60's or 70's now, such as your grandparents.
Give the Old farts a break will ya...they're gonna die soon. Plus it probably hurts them when
they fart.LOL


So you believe a Well human being should have pointed ears like Mr. Spak?
"Beam me up Scottie...there's no fucken intelligent life form on this god forbidden place"lmao


Can I ask you a question A5k?
Do you even know what the **** HAPPINESS is?
Can you clearify that for me? What's your take on it? WTF is happiness to you?

 

[gnome3]

LOL!! I am one of those 'baby boomers' caught at the end of that era. Born in 1959. Holy crap! Could this be true? Now in my fifties... Ah, yes, I remember it well. I was a young lad of 10 years old, sitting in a movie theater watching the movie, Woodstock, and someone passed a joint my way. That, my friends, was when I experienced my second revelation in life. No, I'm not dead yet.