SilentLife said:
Barely have energy to have some 'life'. And whenever I take the big effort and go out somewhere to "socialize", I feel completely alien and completely detached from the world and society. Other people have all action-packed lives and interesting stories to tell. And they have energy to live and go around and communicate and talk and spend time. Amazing. I have barely anything to say. Really, nothing.
This is me too. I'm not ill, but I feel low energy a lot. I don't know. Most things just don't excite me, mostly because I feel like I can't get anywhere no matter what I do. I don't know how others lead these lives either, these action-packed lives and interesting stories to tell. When is there time for that if you have to work and aren't a celebrity? I remember the last time I had a full 8-hour a day job, the only thing I had energy at the end of the day for was drinking. I just felt so blank. I had no ideas in my head, no drive to do anything, no interest in anything. I was just done, every day. Feeling empty. I didn't do much, wasn't interested in much, and didn't feel like much was possible for me, so I didn't have much to say either.
I'm really not sure what more I want to do to have more of a "life". In addition to not knowing what I want to do or what I even can do, I struggle with motivation to have a "life" because I fear that it won't help me with women anyway, or that it will only help me with women I'm not attracted to, which to me would make adventuring more trouble than it's worth. If I knew adventuring wasn't going to help with women I wouldn't bother, but if I don't bother, then I almost certainly won't get anywhere with women either. I guess the only thing to do is to do it without knowing if it will be worth it or not, which I have a hard time motivating myself to do because things have tended to not go my way in the past.
I also don't even know what I would want to do, where to even begin. All I know is that I don't want to do anything "bad" because I feel like it's very risky and very pointless and unnecessary. I'd hope I can find a way to be interesting without that but I haven't come up with anything yet. I guess it depends on what I'm capable of doing, and what I can afford to do. I haven't ever really been able to afford to do much, and I also haven't really built up any skill at anything so that's another problem. I can't really do stuff like go mini-golfing, bowling, pool, go-karting, or things like that with a girl because I wouldn't be very good at them since I couldn't do them a lot since I've never really had money, so I couldn't really show a girl these things. In all likelihood, she'd be better at these things than me and I couldn't take the lead so it wouldn't help my image.
Drew said:
The people out there flitter about and talk about shopping or sports or other meaningless things.
I've noticed this a lot too. Most people really don't have much to say that interests me, so I'm not all that motivated to socialize with them. As a result, I don't gain much experience with socialization. It's kind of a catch-22. Most people don't have anything to say that I want to talk about and I don't like talking to people just to talk, but when I finally do meet someone I want to talk to, I don't have enough social experience to make a good impression.
