lonely (for lack of a better word)

[Robbie]

I am as far away from all i have ever known as i can possibly be and still be in the united states. yes that's as good as an opening statement as i can dredge from my ever diminishing faculties. I have for as long as I remember looked upon emotion, all emotion as weakness to be purged at all costs... now, now I can no longer purge what I feel and it seems as if I am spiraling into oblivion. It is becoming harder to function even now as I was an impeccable speller i cannot for the life of me spell more than three letter words. my entire world is collapsing in upon itself and no amount if sexual satisfaction can quell this fire that I see now was never squelched as i believed it had but merely smoldered till it found fuel to ignite into the raging inferno it has become. all i want is the love of a good woman, even merely the understanding but that seems as it will never happen. I want to die. and no this is no suicide not nor cry for help. I will never take my own life for that is defeat utter and complete, I will not seek death in time it will find me but as of now it seems to be taking its sweet damn time.
all i want is someone to share all they are with me and someone i can do the same with. but yet all i can find are pleasures of the flesh and even that has lost all meaning to me.. a 22 year old man no longer even finding joy in sex. I am lost.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

hahahaaaa...my spelling is out of this world, just ask anyone on here

If you don't mind keeping an openmind....lol
You're just hitting sometype of a bottom. Everybody gose through this. People have different ways of explaining it.
It's kind of like a death. A mental and emtional death...on the other side is rebirth. All things will be new to you again.
You will have the zest for life. You're spirit will be reborn. You're changing...life changes. Don't freak out. It's a process.
If you walk through it...you will come through the other side. It's not easy at times..becuase you feel like every part of you is being torned down.
Other times you will feel like you're going out of your mind...it's okay. It's just your mind or awarness changing and growing. Think of it as growing pains..just like
the joints on your lims...but this is growning pains mentally and emotionally. it's will pass...If you stop figthing it and let go...go with the flow. It'll be less intensive.
Don't beat yourself up in the process...Don't get too or be serious for a while. Take care of yourself. Be gentle to yourself. Get proper rest, eat. Do something good
for yourself everyday. When you get through the other side...you will know.

Some people will say...sometimes you have to empty out what's in the old cup before filling it up with something new.
other will say...there's opportunity in chaos.

You might go through this serveral times in your life.
Yes as i can recall...right around the age of 22...there was a major shift in my life. A very important shift. I hitted major bottoms.

 

[evanescencefan91]

*hugs robbie*

emotion is never weakness and isn't all bad

but the important thing to remember about emotion is that it is temporary

that's the hard part about emotion and makes it so much intense is the delusion of it's eternity,

from the agonizing sorrows, the elation of happyness, it feels like it means something, but it doesn't when you are sad, take a long nap, cry ( if you can) and take a long nap, then get out and do something eventually you will feel better

as far away but still in the US are you in ALaska or hawaii?

hey don't worry about it, just go a couple of months without any action and then the end of thee withdraw will be pretty nice

but you don't need sex to feel good, if you find the right person just being with them, and talking or cuddling and watching a movie will feel good

mmm not talking about experience i have none of that but i read it in a psychology book

so ya word of the experts man

anyways good luck man I hope things get better

 

[chrism]

Hi

I don't know if I am hitting the spot here, but just in case, I'd like to share what I've come up so far with my so sad life.

I used to think that what I needed most more than anything to fuel and give me inspiration to go about my life is a person who fits so smoothly with all my rough edges. I thought of it and I realized, I was putting my life on hold for that person. Right now, I think what I need to do is to be the person I want to be. Someone I can be proud of.

No matter what we do in life, we should always do it for ourselves first, to better ourselves, to become the persons we want to be, achieve our goals and do the things we want to do, find peace in oneself and know ourselves. We have to learn to stand on our own, enjoy our own company and learn how to be happy with or without a romantic partner. Because when we are whole and are secured of ourselves then that's the time we will be open to other people and share ourselves as well. Of course we need people around us, to love and who will love us in return but we have to make ourselves likable and lovable. Someone who not only other people can love but also we ourselves can love too.

My friend always tells me, 'happiness is a choice'. I am trying to understand that now