Lonesome idiot

[NobodySpecial]

My story is long and pathetic.

First off, I'm 38 years old, divorced, engaged and moved to the US 9 months ago to be with the man i love.

I left everything and everyone behind. I let my daughter go with my idiot ex because we couldn't work out any kind of agreement that didn't involve him controlling every aspect of my life, because of our daughter. I miss her terribly, but to come here, i had to leave my own country.

I fell madly in love with a man, who professed to love me too. We were both in marriages at the time. We both left them, we left before we ever actually met. I'm sure some think that loving someone else is worse than sleeping with them.. yeah. me too.

Well, my man's ex is just indescribably cruel and rewards his children for 'punishing' him in any way. this depresses him, which makes him non communicative.. and totally unaffectionate.

So here am I. 1500 miles from my family, who won't even speak to me because i left.. i don't know anyone here. I can't work here yet. And my mate is a stone wall.

I have no one to talk to all day. I'm so lonely I just want to crawl under a rock and never come out again.

and thats about it i guess. its ok if you want to judge me harshly, you cant possibly judge me more harshly than i do.

if anyone doesnt think i'm scum, i sure could use some conversation.

 

[UKchappie]

Your not scum, you made decisions which were right for you, rightly or wrongly. Some people can understand that, and some cant.
Usually the ones who cant understand anything from the given norm are the ones who have never been out of their comfort zone of ideal life, so are not usually qualified to speak or give an opinion. So dont worry about it.

Your decision on your lfe and you made it. But the fairytale isnt all it seems now. I cant help you with that, i wish i could.
But the question is where do you go from here?

Everything in life, no matter what, has a logical step, a logical sequence. Some people think the sequence is rubbish, but until your in a situation out of the norm, you cant see the sequences unfold so cant see the different paths open to you.

You are bound to feel awkward in your situation, but there has to be an end result, its how that result comes about. Do you ride the flow and wait, or maybe start putting your own spin on things. Your call.

But the fact is lady, your the maker of your own destiny. You have to work out what works for you, and try and angle things.

Failing that i find Jack Daniels and coke helps..........lol.

 

[NobodySpecial]

Ah, alcohol, be nice if i didn't live in a parsonage, lol. I've thought many a time about getting snookered.

I know.. its all up to me. I just am not ready to give up on something that was so good. But unless he decides not to spend every moment dwelling, i don't know how i can pull him out. I mean, i'm in the same boat, i miss my child, terribly. I guess the difference is I'm not taking my own decisions out on him.

Thanks for replying though, feedback is nice.

 

[Punisher]

Hi SomebodySpecial... oops, I mean NobodySpecial, and welcome to ALL

 

[nerdygirl]

Hello.

 

[Depressedology]

hey, nobody is special indeed. Sorry about what you go through. You can post here whatever you feel like, I'll be the first one to hear what you tell. Look at the full half, there gotta be one am I right.
welcome here, looking for your future posts

 

[evanescencefan91]

hi nobodyspecial

welcome to the forum

i am so sorry that it didn't work out

try not to be too hard on yourself, we all make mistakes

we are all fools when we are in love,

even if it's not ment to be, your body and brain don't know the difference, the chemical messengers in your brain and hromones just drive you to be with that person

(sorry i can never throw out a chance to whip out my ap psyche knowledge)

how about a joke to cheer you up,

how many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb,

just one, but first the lightbulb has to want to change

ehehhehheh

regardless i wish you the best of luck

 

[Samuel]

Your NOT Scum, and your NOT a complete idiot. We make mistakes!

Don't let yourself get down over it. Be positive, it will work out, don't think that it won't!

 

[samba101]

Your not scum you just fell in love with a man and at the moment your path is somewhat rocky.

We have a chat room, you'll find the link in the New Members forum, a bit of conversation with others may take away a bit of what your going through.

Try to take one step at a time, what your partner's ex is doing is wrong and only time will tell if she stops, time after time adults will use their children as weapons to hurt the other, build a relationship with the children and see how it goes from there, that way you'll have them on your side and maybe your partner might come around.

Anyway here's a HUG.

 

[SophiaGrace]

time after time adults will use their children as weapons to hurt the other.

omg my parents do this too. It drives me nuts. Children are so innocent. Why do adults use them as bargaining and manipulative pieces in their game of chess??? It seems so wrong...

And Hello SomeoneSpecial

We are all very very happy to have you here! Loneliness is a bitter enemy that CAN be overcome.

Life is not easy. No one ever guaranteed it would be.

Stay strong, and remember to breathe deep in times of stress.

We're here for you. Keep posting as you hit road-blocks/have questions. We'll be more than happy to help support you and answer your questions.