Losing my ability to speak due to loneliness

[cumulus.james]

I have spent so long on my own now that I have spent about 3 years barely, if ever having to speak at all. In fact saying thanks at the end of the transaction at the supermarket or calling my cat are the only times I would speak.

I have been looking for a place to live recently which has meant talking to estate agents and I discovered I struggle to actually speak in an audible way. Clear speech takes a LOT of effort.

Imagine being so isolated you start losing basic human abilities.

What has it come to. An ugly lonely loser who cant even string a f***ing sentence together.

 

[Pheenix]

I've gone through the same thing, but I'm in high-school. You can end up speaking in a very relaxed manner because you sorta stop thinking that anyone is going to hear it. It's easy to correct.

 

[Limlim]

Come to the chat room, once in awhile we hit up skype. You can practice your verbal skills on us.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Its possible to regain your aptitude with very little ease. If in doubt, you can try to practice in front of a mirror.

 

[Reggie Jected]

True story. I hadn't spoken directly with someone since '09, and I noticed one day that I was no longer subvocalizing, but having pretend conversations with imaginary people, outloud so that I would know what to say if that particular theoretical conversation with that person ever came up. Shortly after I became terrified that I had lost my ability to keep my thoughts to myself anymore. I have since stopped having the pretend dialogues.

 

[cumulus.james]

True story. I hadn't spoken directly with someone since '09, and I noticed one day that I was no longer subvocalizing, but having pretend conversations with imaginary people, outloud so that I would know what to say if that particular theoretical conversation with that person ever came up. Shortly after I became terrified that I had lost my ability to keep my thoughts to myself anymore. I have since stopped having the pretend dialogues.

I think I do something similar, but keep it in my head. What happened to make you stop? I assume it was just around your house you were doing this not in the streets?

 

[Reggie Jected]

Nope, I did it at work too. I worked in a warehouse stacking boxes at the time, real tedious work that left you able to think freely, and sometimes, the "conversations" would get animated and I would shout or stomp my feet or overreact dramatically because I was also entertaining myself. Thats just when I noticed it. I caught myself doing it agian five minutes ago. Some habits are hard to break, but I'm confident that if I'm around people more, I won't have to do this and it should go away

I just meant that I don't encourage myself to do it anymore, I apologize for being misleading.

 

[cumulus.james]

Nope, I did it at work too. I worked in a warehouse stacking boxes at the time, real tedious work that left you able to think freely, and sometimes, the "conversations" would get animated and I would shout or stomp my feet or overreact dramatically because I was also entertaining myself. Thats just when I noticed it. I caught myself doing it agian five minutes ago. Some habits are hard to break, but I'm confident that if I'm around people more, I won't have to do this and it should go away

I just meant that I don't encourage myself to do it anymore, I apologize for being misleading.

Wow that must be embarrassing - you know how people think they would just assume you’re a nutcase and avoid you when your probably quite normal, I would have used humour to make light of it if someone caught me doing it.

But I can see what you mean I worked a job for a long time where I would spend a lot of time alone in a warehouse I’m not sure but I probably spoke to myself.

I guess all you can do is keep an eye on it.

 

[applepear]

Nope, I did it at work too. I worked in a warehouse stacking boxes at the time, real tedious work that left you able to think freely, and sometimes, the "conversations" would get animated and I would shout or stomp my feet or overreact dramatically because I was also entertaining myself. Thats just when I noticed it. I caught myself doing it agian five minutes ago. Some habits are hard to break, but I'm confident that if I'm around people more, I won't have to do this and it should go away

I just meant that I don't encourage myself to do it anymore, I apologize for being misleading.

hey this can happen to anyone. my brother is pretty much a recluse when he was young. and he has a habit of talking to himself too. probably not talking...more like whispering (probably less likely to be detected as crazy from people who don't understand)

anyways he joined the military . in the military, everyone knows everyone's habits. even the freaky ones like your weird old people fetish porn stash or something.....

one day my mom received a call from some one taking care of new recruits and she said he had a "abnormal" habit of talking to himself and it was "scaring" the other recruits. how stupid. its more normal than you think!!! my mom had to tell my brother to control it. he doesn't really do it as often anymore.

 

[IgnoredOne]

As a writer, I used to act out roles and spoke out dialogue quite often. I cut back on acting out as much, and explained to people who asked about the importance of 'reading out' what you were writing. If they understood, great. If not, can't save the ignorant.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Instead of just saying "thanks" try making general statements. Like if it's a nice day outside, say something like, "nice day today". Something that doesn't readily require a person to start a conversation but allows for some quick social interaction. Talk to your cat more too, it really isn't as silly as it sounds. A lot of people do that.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Maybe just trying reading out loud so you'll get the mechanics of your speach back and you'll also be saying phrase instead of words.
Force yourself to go outside and stay outside as long as you can. Get some sunlight.
Maybe just go hang out a park, mall or beach. You don't really have to make direct contact with people but
You'll be around people more often...this will also allow your mind and body to adjust.
Once you do that once or twice...just go window shopping such as best buy or place like that.
The customs clerk will approch you to try to help you. It little more of enter actions.
Or maybe a local libuary..maybe get a libuary card..this way you can talk without it being too personal..but yor still making conversation
with people.
Or go to your local convient store..just buy a pop or a piece of candy. they'll say hello or whatever but its a start..baby steps.

maybe join a hobbie club or support groups

Thats waht i did to get myself out of a funk after I isolated myself for a year.

Now I cant stfu, in and out of realtionships, dated over 20 chicks and all kinds of social interactions and other actions.lol
Did threesomes too..now that **** was freaken crazy or maybe worng but i wasnt isolating.
Some chick put my hand on her ****s infront of my GF..cuz i'm the ****. Stupid stuff like that..over socializing and what not.

poeple or stranger will come up and talk to me or introduce themselve to me..make small talk or just hang out..it's not a big deal anymore.
chicks come up and talk to me all the time..sometimes they just wanna chit chat..other times they wanna get to know me better...it's not a big deal to me anymore.
Women still hit on me...I still have it. I know some of the guys will say that's impossiable..but women had asked me out my entire life.
Poeple are just people...dont sweat it. Alot of it is just exposure..your body and mind will adjust. sometimes you gatta take the body first then the mind will follow.

I jsut had a terriable melted down for a year and experinced what a person can go through when isolated and things I did to get myself out of a funk.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Crow-san, do you have a particular reason to rant about how much sex you've had in almost every single post you make? It seems unrelated to the subject at hand.

 

[cumulus.james]

Maybe just go hang out a park

Hey thanks for your advice. I appreciate it but...

You cant hang out in a park in England anymore if you a guy on his own -you’ll get arrested.

 

[paulo]

Maybe just go hang out a park

Hey thanks for your advice. I appreciate it but...

You cant hang out in a park in England anymore if you a guy on his own -you’ll get arrested.

hahaha thats how i feel when i just sit down somewhere outsite.
like one of those creepy dudes in a raincote
at least i think thats what people are thinking..

everthing is in english online so sometimes i forget the words for stuff in my own language.
if i do have people around and i have to talk al day my throught hurts the next day.
need to do more talking exercises

 

[cumulus.james]

Maybe just go hang out a park

Hey thanks for your advice. I appreciate it but...

You cant hang out in a park in England anymore if you a guy on his own -you’ll get arrested.

hahaha thats how i feel when i just sit down somewhere outsite.
like one of those creepy dudes in a raincote
at least i think thats what people are thinking..

everthing is in english online so sometimes i forget the words for stuff in my own language.
if i do have people around and i have to talk al day my throught hurts the next day.
need to do more talking exercises

This paedophile paranoia is epidemic in the UK right now. I have a 6 month old nice and I often like to buy things for her. But when I am in the baby section looking at all the baby clothes to find a nice little outfit for here the women glare at me. I cant even buy my niece a present without suspicious looks.

And now I’m getting paranoid. If my sister asked me to baby-sit I would point blank refuse.

 

[sentiententity]

That's so weird. I had no idea it was like that in the UK.

 

[Beyondthefourwalls]

Something similar happened to me, i spend alone in my room most of the time a couple years of my life, when finally i started to go out more, i noticed people had some trouble understanding me, i kindda spoke too low, finally i started to record and listen myself to work on the problems. Maybe you could try that? And i also agree, you should find some activity that puts you in contact with people, maybe a book club or something like that.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Crow-san, do you have a particular reason to rant about how much sex you've had in almost every single post you make? It seems unrelated to the subject at hand.

Cuz Im a fucken man whore???
Or maybe it's just my body chemistry. I have strong sex drives
I'm bascailly a fucken nmypho. At my age I still wake up with a freaken hard on. Most of my GFs Nymphos too...we have fucken sex 24/7s.
I dont need viagra or whatever the ****. My biscut aint limp that's
for sure.

it's not any different then someone being bi-sexual or gay...
but some poeple wanna debate about that or say it's a chioce.

Lets put religion, moral or whatever the **** your vaules are aside for
a moment (YOUR FILTER...you perceive life through your filter).
Everyone has different perceptions of life.
In other words...keep an openmind without your prejudgment or preconceive notions.

K...so I'm like on the other extreem of the spectrum.
Some of you havn't kissed a girl, gone out on dates or cant get none..on the other extreem end of the spectrum.

Women ask me out all the freaken time...as a matter of fact i have
another one wanting to have a realtionship with me, at the moment.
And I'm freaken BROKE. Not a dime in my name in between job at the moment. ( caz whatever personal stuff)
and chick still wants me. I've been down and out before...as always women still wanna take me home with them...
I'm not faking it or playing sick..my life gets ****** like that from time to time and some women wanna shower me
with their love...it's wierd. My life is far, far from the norm. I'm a freak of nature..dudes.
Like 5 chicks within the last week making themselve avaliable to me. i dont know if it's just who I am and a combination of my body putting out natural pharamones that women sense.

Never the less I've been exposed to a lot of women and people. All of that social skills , dating,clubing, picking up women, sedusing women or getting played by women. i know the pros and cons and some of the pit falls and also knows what works.

It this sexual drive/desire that I have...that gets me to get off of my ass,to go outside.
I cant really say women dont come knocking at my door..cuz they
actaully have. but that's far and few in between.

You gatta go outside...put yourself out there if you wanna get laid,
make friends or live...man whore or not.

Plus I live in SoCal...where the sun dosnt stop shinning
The other exteem..it's fucken stupid hot here...
Less a month ago I was in Reno..it was still snowing in june
I still went out socializing during those cloudy, raIN, snowing days.
Women hit on me. then my woman wanna knock their front teeth out and **** like that.
Nevada was like the wild, wild west..just another crazy world my fiance drag me into again as she always had.
She's wild just like me or more. and she cant STFU always telling me to GTFO.hahahahaa
I love her with all my heart and soul...that's why I'm the way I am.
I have a lot of hang ups in my life but one them isnt sex.

All you gatta do is look closely at my baby...some of the crazy **** in life.
I love her more than life itself. Maybe some day her dreams and my dream will come true.
Some poeple will never understand. They dont have to....

 

[IgnoredOne]

A gentleman does not kiss and tell.