Low self esteem

S_Rajewski · Sep 2, 2013

This is really just a post for me to express my feelings on my low self esteem and other things not really looking for pity. if you like you can share your story too. So a little information about my self I'm a 16 year old girl who's currently in high school. I have some good friends in school but outside of school i mostly sit home and do nothing because no one ever wants to make plans with me. I given up on trying to ask if anyone wants to hang because of just the disappointment of pure rejection. This also goes for boys too, I have never been able to tell a boy i liked him usually got friends do out of the few boys i have like and decided i tell them. Talked to a boy for the first time that i liked for a bit but never really went any where because i have no idea what to do. I haven't really tired to like many guys or any time i do i tell myself i can't because I'm too ugly and they never like a girl as ugly as me so give up now. I don't even have self esteem i practically tell myself I'm ugly ever day. I say how bad my skin is cause i have acne and how bad my teeth are. I'm not even going to homecoming or junior prom this year because i feel unless i pay someone to go with me no one would want to and i don't wanna seem like a loser without a date. I'm not the kinda girl guys like at all I'm ugly and annoying. I mean I'm going on 17 and never kissed a guy. So yeah here my little i guess rant about my self esteem

Senamian · Sep 9, 2013

Trust me, it should pass.

Why do you have this self image? Did/do others make fun of you?

I too was (and still am) unfortunate with acne. Such. A. Pain. When nervous I tend to touch my face, neck, etc. It's impossible for me to stop, but it's a thing I have t make conscious, along with finding (out of the hundreds) of cleaners that would help. I use probably three kinds, plus oil-free lotion afterwards... Twice a day at least.

I don't know how bad your teeth are... But trust me it COULD be worse! My friend has natural yellow teeth. My mom... She used to have crooked teeth. And I mean the teeth CROSSED, and when she finally went in to remove them, they found that five teeth (should have been two) had to be pulled, because the roots were so twisted together there was no other choice. She still has crooked bottom teeth - and so do I. Mine's from one stubborn tooth shoving the other out ;( But they'll just shove braces on me, and not pull the stupid thing out -.-; That and I have my biological mother's crooked smile which I despise.

I understand fully about telling oneself they are ugly. I did it. I didn't really look in the mirror that often. Between stretch marks (still have them!), acne and acne scars, being taller than ANYONE else asides people at least three to five years older.... I felt very out of place. I don't know what changed, that changed my point of view. But I know it was not easy!

As for guys "seeing you as ugly"... How do you know?

I lived in a small community (and now another equally crappy community) where one person hates you the rest do too... And they make it known.

Oh, BTW my "first kiss" was when I was 18.

S_Rajewski · Sep 10, 2013

Senamian said:
Trust me, it should pass.

Why do you have this self image? Did/do others make fun of you?

I too was (and still am) unfortunate with acne. Such. A. Pain. When nervous I tend to touch my face, neck, etc. It's impossible for me to stop, but it's a thing I have t make conscious, along with finding (out of the hundreds) of cleaners that would help. I use probably three kinds, plus oil-free lotion afterwards... Twice a day at least.

I don't know how bad your teeth are... But trust me it COULD be worse! My friend has natural yellow teeth. My mom... She used to have crooked teeth. And I mean the teeth CROSSED, and when she finally went in to remove them, they found that five teeth (should have been two) had to be pulled, because the roots were so twisted together there was no other choice. She still has crooked bottom teeth - and so do I. Mine's from one stubborn tooth shoving the other out ;( But they'll just shove braces on me, and not pull the stupid thing out -.-; That and I have my biological mother's crooked smile which I despise.

I understand fully about telling oneself they are ugly. I did it. I didn't really look in the mirror that often. Between stretch marks (still have them!), acne and acne scars, being taller than ANYONE else asides people at least three to five years older.... I felt very out of place. I don't know what changed, that changed my point of view. But I know it was not easy!

As for guys "seeing you as ugly"... How do you know? I lived in a small community (and now another equally crappy community) where one person hates you the rest do too... And they make it known.

Oh, BTW my "first kiss" was when I was 18.

I have this self image because as soon as i got into middle school i was always deemed as ugly or unattractive compared to the other girls.
I guess it just carried plus guy never really ever talk to me so like the other prettier girls in my school. :/

Drama · Sep 10, 2013

Do not concentrate your energy on finding people to spend time with, instead concentrate on doing activities or going to clubs, i'd say a bookclub because im a nerd.
Give the impression that you are independent. People seem more attracted to that kind of people. It's a painful process, but a rewarding one.
Go to prom. Have fun. The rest of the world does not matter.
I know it's hard, VERY hard, but you have to break the chains of low self esteme.

Senamian · Sep 10, 2013

Middle school, by far, is so cruel. No matter where you live. "The other girls" are what I call... Stuck up. Know why they treat you like that? They don't actually like themselves. Their life probably sucks, and thus they have to beat down anyone they feel like it to not only "feel better about themselves" but also to "fit in". I'd rather you be exactly who you are, than end up like that.

To be honest... In my area, know why the guys talk to the "pretty girls"? They want one thing from them. They don't give a damn about their feelings, their dreams, their hopes and desires... Just that one thing, and that one thing only. The ones with good hearts, and do want to be with someone for more than just a "pretty face" can be hard to find... But they are there

You are still young. Don't let yourself think not dating is a bad thing... It is not always as great as Hollywood deems it

ladyforsaken · Sep 11, 2013

Forget about what or how you should be or look like. Just live life. Just do things that make you happy and that make you feel good. You'll feel beautiful inside out. Come on, you're 17. It's an age to go and have some fun. I never did, missed out on it.. oh well.