Missing Something

[Greed]

Hello everyone,

I can see there are quite a few people on here, which should be encouraing I guess.

I am a 24 year old girl in Canada, in a long term relationship - I had a decent up bringing, the younger of two children. I have been in 3 long term relationships now, including this one.

I do not think I am ugly - I have been skinny minnie and am now a little chunkier, and it switches back and forth - I am always happy with myself, I know I am a strong, intelligent, loving, loyal girl with a few nice friends that I see regularily.

And now, the point - I have felt completely alone, and detached from the world my entire life. I have always tried hard to blend in, and be happy, and see the beauty in everything around me and the good in the people I meet. Despite my efforts, I am visibly detached - people note my occasional, apparently obvious anti social behavior - I hate children (they're annoying and disgusting and I am tired of the expectation that I should want them), I see the world very black and white, and talk about people like they are things - Accidentally, when I slip up.

I truly love some people, but don't feel it has ever been reciprocated, and I feel that it's actually other people that lack the ability to love and feel as much as I can and have, so I don't even want to bother any more.

I feel like ... I don't know.. like I'm just visiting. Like this is a nice place but I wouldn't want to live here - except of course I HAVE to

I don't even know what to ask as a question... - thoughts?

Yes I have tried a therapist - I went to one session, he was a very sweet older man that clearly had no real answers for me.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Do you have any sense of empathy? Did you hurt animals or insects as a child for fun? You may have an antisocial personality disorder, as they call it, like I do.

 

[Greed]

Do you have any sense of empathy? Did you hurt animals or insects as a child for fun? You may have an antisocial personality disorder, as they call it, like I do.

Short answer no, long answer yes - when confronted directly with human suffering, I rarely feel anything, except that sometimes the situations are funny or quirky and I laugh, then quickly try to hide that I thought anything was funny because it's always just so inappropriate. If I feel anything at all when it comes to human suffering(which is rare), it's just anger.

I do not want to harm animals though - Instead I've tried to surround myself with them all these years, collecting everything from snakes, to birds, cats and dogs, and just last month bought a horse (a first!) - all in an attempt to feel a connection, and less lonely... but it doesn't ever work, and I am tired of collecting. No I am not a hoarder - and they all live good lives with lots of care. They are a great distraction, but it's all temporary which is an issue. It definitely ends with the horse lol.

I don't know... I don't what's wrong with me...

 

[IgnoredOne]

I don't know... I don't what's wrong with me...

You probably have an antisocial personality issue like I do. Look for others like us, as you'll find common ground, and be proud that sociopathy is associated positively with intelligence.

 

[Greed]

So .. you're saying the solution is to start an anti-social social club? I'd think all I'd find is 14-17 year olds with depression and parent issues. Also, my apartment is sadly in the middle of hippie central, so all I see everyday are university/college kids my age asking me for joint money and enjoying how 'different' they all are with the exact same tattoos and thrift store pants under their thrift store skirts.... ugh. .. That was a rant.

Anyway, popular online places like kijiji and craigslist have done away with their social ad spaces making finding anyone difficult.

 

[IgnoredOne]

So .. you're saying the solution is to start an anti-social social club? I'd think all I'd find is 14-17 year olds with depression and parent issues.

Actually, you'll find a lot of us are overachievers in life since we're /not/ wasting our time asking for joint money. Look for work clubs or other places that emphasize achievement over all else. Capitalize on things in life that don't depend on the fickle emotions of others, such as money, and look to study how humans behave and act and you'll find that their behavior can be reasonably predictable as well.

You mentioned seeing the world in black and white too. I'm not sure if you're like this ,but I also see things as right and wrong; I aim to bring about that which is right, and that overall goal is something of a definite purpose for me. Seeking the purpose and finding the resources to bring it about, is something that is very satisfying and indeed, requires me to find others so that it also removes loneliness from the equation.

 

[beans]

I don't know... I don't what's wrong with me...

You probably have an antisocial personality issue like I do. Look for others like us, as you'll find common ground, and be proud that sociopathy is associated positively with intelligence.

I don't think intelligence in this form can bring one happiness and enjoyment in life. Some of the stupidest people in life are the happiest - ignorance is bliss. The more little you know, the better. And does having labels help at all? I find it pointless to have common ground in negative situations.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I don't think intelligence in this form can bring one happiness and enjoyment in life. Some of the stupidest people in life are the happiest - ignorance is bliss. The more little you know, the better.

Oh, but it does, because enough knowledge of anything allows you to affect the situation and in affecting it, bring you what you desire.

And does having labels help at all? I find it pointless to have common ground in negative situations.

Its not a negative.

 

[beans]

Hello everyone,

I can see there are quite a few people on here, which should be encouraing I guess.

I am a 24 year old girl in Canada, in a long term relationship - I had a decent up bringing, the younger of two children. I have been in 3 long term relationships now, including this one.

I do not think I am ugly - I have been skinny minnie and am now a little chunkier, and it switches back and forth - I am always happy with myself, I know I am a strong, intelligent, loving, loyal girl with a few nice friends that I see regularily.

And now, the point - I have felt completely alone, and detached from the world my entire life. I have always tried hard to blend in, and be happy, and see the beauty in everything around me and the good in the people I meet. Despite my efforts, I am visibly detached - people note my occasional, apparently obvious anti social behavior - I hate children (they're annoying and disgusting and I am tired of the expectation that I should want them), I see the world very black and white, and talk about people like they are things - Accidentally, when I slip up.

I truly love some people, but don't feel it has ever been reciprocated, and I feel that it's actually other people that lack the ability to love and feel as much as I can and have, so I don't even want to bother any more.

I feel like ... I don't know.. like I'm just visiting. Like this is a nice place but I wouldn't want to live here - except of course I HAVE to

I don't even know what to ask as a question... - thoughts?

Yes I have tried a therapist - I went to one session, he was a very sweet older man that clearly had no real answers for me.

Hmm I've read this twice - and I don't really think its a problem to feel detached from the world. Is this a problem? Or you just feel this way? Because I think its very normal to feel this way. It's a problem if it stops you from functioning as a person and you feel down about it but from what you write, you said you are happy with yourself, so I don't know what kind of answers you're looking for.

---

I don't think intelligence in this form can bring one happiness and enjoyment in life. Some of the stupidest people in life are the happiest - ignorance is bliss. The more little you know, the better.

Oh, but it does, because enough knowledge of anything allows you to affect the situation and in affecting it, bring you what you desire.

And does having labels help at all? I find it pointless to have common ground in negative situations.

Its not a negative.

Hmmm I am guessing if one is an anti social and it does not bother him/her, that's fine. But why feel lonely if one himself does not like associating with others?

 

[IgnoredOne]

Hmmm I am guessing if one is an anti social and it does not bother him/her, that's fine. But why feel lonely if one himself does not like associating with others?

The antisocial in antisocial personality disorder has more to do with our supposed hazard to society than our dislike of social circumstances. We can feel lonely too, and we often do well in social circumstances. We just...have different perspectives on people. And this entire value of life thing; many of us actually do have strong codes of honor and right and wrong, though. In my experience, its just the perspective that life by itself is something sacred and precious that we find ludicrous.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001919/

Most accurately, it means that we do not feel a 'connection' like other people do and supposedly lack empathy. Some form of sadism is also common, such as finding the plight of others to be amusing or laughable.

 

[beans]

Hmmm I am guessing if one is an anti social and it does not bother him/her, that's fine. But why feel lonely if one himself does not like associating with others?

The antisocial in antisocial personality disorder has more to do with our supposed hazard to society than our dislike of social circumstances. We can feel lonely too, and we often do well in social circumstances. We just...have different perspectives on people. And this entire value of life thing.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001919/

Most accurately, it means that we do not feel a 'connection' like other people do and supposedly lack empathy. Some form of sadism is also common, such as finding the plight of others to be amusing or laughable.

Oh that is kind of mean. Then yes, they should keep to themselves. But when I've started to join social events and meet complete strangers at social outings, I find that those who socialize well do not necessarily have empathy. They also lack it. I don't see the connection between lacking empathy and not wanting to socialize. A lot of people socialize for different reasons. Some to kill time, have fun, it does not mean they know how to relate to connect to others. That's why people go to parties and get drunk, etc. I doubt its because they find a connection.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Oh that is kind of mean. Then yes, they should keep to themselves. But when I've started to join social events and meet complete strangers at social outings, I find that those who socialize well do not necessarily have empathy.

We shouldn't 'keep to ourselves'. We shouldn't do anything at all except what makes us happy, which often involves interacting with more 'normal' people. What I advised is that she should find individuals like us so that we will have common ground and understanding.

They also lack it. I don't see the connection between lacking empathy and not wanting to socialize.

There isn't one, not overtly.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I ma go plug into a herd to be a part of.. Hop on the weagon Billy Bob We're going way younder to Normalville.