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Hmmm, well, since you’re actually an adult, you should be behaving like an adult all the time (except if you indulge in those fetish role plays I guess) and it shouldn’t be an act, but to answer “how” that is more difficult, but I guess you have to learn from others, other who lead by good example, get professional help maybe to determine you limitations and how to overcome them. There are courses of course that can help with assertiveness and courage etc. These are choices only you can make of course. When it gets too much, the choices ultimately have to be made.