My friend is a vegetarian

[Wrong]

I have this sort of friend who's a vegetarian and just to amuse myself, I have secretly been putting meat in food I prepare for her. I grind it up really well though, like really tiny pieces of bacon, that sorta thing. She thinks i'm a wonderful cook and really enjoys my meals, and i've been having a lot of fun with it. I just love seeing her secretly eat my meat.

 

[user 188522]

I think you should amuse yourself at your own expense, not someone else.

 

[ringwood]

Your twisted amusement comes before respect for a ‘sort-of’ friend. Lovely. Some people have dietary restrictions for a reason.

 

[tedgresham]

Back in the day when the big war was on a couple of GI's in India hired on a boy to do their cleaning, cooking, etc.. The GIs were mean to the kid, shouting at him, pushing him a round, calling him nasty names. He kept working because he needed the tiny pay they gave him. One day the GI's got called on by their Sargent and realized they were really being a dick to the kid. They called him in and apologized and promised to be nice to him and gave him a raise. The kid looked at them and said, "Good, thank you! I will quit spitting in your soup."

You need to quit spitting in the soup.

 

[user 188644]

Does anyone actually believe this.

 

[user 135671]

Does anyone actually believe this.

I stopped reading after " I have this sort of friend " because I didn't believe that could be true in all honesty

 

[ringwood]

I stopped reading after " I have this sort of friend " because I didn't believe that could be true in all honesty

Yep. Knowing this guy, I think he wrote this little story just to include the sentence: "I just love seeing her secretly eat my meat."

 

[user 135671]

Yep. Knowing this guy, I think he wrote this little story just to include the sentence: "I just love seeing her secretly eat my meat."

Yea it's obviously how he gets his jollies

 

[TheRealCallie]

Does anyone actually believe this.

People actually do that. I can't tell you how many times people have tried to secretly get me to eat dead animals. Which is why I generally only tend to eat my own food.

Is this particular story true? Probably not, but he certainly seems the type to disrespect anyone he comes across.

 

[user 188644]

Yep. Knowing this guy, I think he wrote this little story just to include the sentence: "I just love seeing her secretly eat my meat."

I read it slightly differently. My reaction was like he saw this somewhere and then was so proud of his little addition.

 

[Finished]

On a serious side. I used to get veggie burgers at different restaurants. I was amazed that they tasted so much like regular beef hamburgers. But, I could never get mine at home to taste that way. So, I finally asked one of the waitresses how they do it and how they made their burgers. She smiled and said that they cook the frozen veggie patties in beef fat. I was like ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. I was disappointed. I really don't think they should do that. But, I think many do. So FYI.

 

[Wrong]

Back in the day when the big war was on a couple of GI's in India hired on a boy to do their cleaning, cooking, etc.. The GIs were mean to the kid, shouting at him, pushing him a round, calling him nasty names. He kept working because he needed the tiny pay they gave him. One day the GI's got called on by their Sargent and realized they were really being a dick to the kid. They called him in and apologized and promised to be nice to him and gave him a raise. The kid looked at them and said, "Good, thank you! I will quit spitting in your soup."

You need to quit spitting in the soup.

Your story makes absolutely no sense and does not relate to this situation at all, unless you're trying to tell me my friend will give me a promotion (?) to which I will stop sneaking meat in her meals.

Even for the kid in your story it was a win / win situation, i'd only call him stupid for telling them in the end. I woulda just kept going.

Does anyone actually believe this.

Funny thing about people who always assume "other people lie".

I read it slightly differently. My reaction was like he saw this somewhere and then was so proud of his little addition.

K champ, show me the "original story." I'ma have some fun with you.

 

[kaetic]

Seinfeld? The crab episode about "shrinkage".

 

[user 188685]

I read it slightly differently. My reaction was like he saw this somewhere and then was so proud of his little addition.

Yeah,true that

 

[theablekingathelstan]

your'e a *expletive disallowed word removed*, OP. sorry.
i'll expect you say "you don't know me!!" but then you should tell me why you're owed absolute positive attention.

I have this sort of friend who's a vegetarian and just to amuse myself, I have secretly been putting meat in food I prepare for her. I grind it up really well though, like really tiny pieces of bacon, that sorta thing. She thinks i'm a wonderful cook and really enjoys my meals, and i've been having a lot of fun with it. I just love seeing her secretly eat my meat.

you should

 

[theablekingathelstan]

You also seem insecure, because a person's random lifestyle choice is that bothersome to you and your perceptions.

I have this sort of friend who's a vegetarian and just to amuse myself, I have secretly been putting meat in food I prepare for her. I grind it up really well though, like really tiny pieces of bacon, that sorta thing. She thinks i'm a wonderful cook and really enjoys my meals, and i've been having a lot of fun with it. I just love seeing her secretly eat my meat.

ptions

 

[tedgresham]

My story was a parable. duh figure it out. or not. Be nice or fresia you.

I don't know if the story about a vegetarian was true or not but it was not funny, either way.

 

[Wrong]

My story was a parable. duh figure it out. or not. Be nice or fresia you.

I don't know if the story about a vegetarian was true or not but it was not funny, either way.

If your story was a parable then what did it teach regarding my particular situation exactly? In your story the kid would spit in the soldiers food, and was promoted. How does that relate to my story in any way shape or form? I secretly put meat in my friends food without her noticing it. It isn't spit and i'm not working for her. Oh and there are no promotions to be had. Explain to me again how your story relates to my story other than it involving food, champ. You might as well have quoted Jamie Oliver.

What is there for me to figure out really, other than the fact that you're a dumbass? If it wasn't funny then you just made it funny by trying to act clever yet falling flat on your face. If you want my advice I would never ever use that story ever again to try and seem smart. You might as well be quoting honeysuckle from Ducktales, or something.

Good job.

your'e a *expletive disallowed word removed*, OP. sorry.
i'll expect you say "you don't know me!!" but then you should tell me why you're owed absolute positive attention.

you should

Not really, I just don't care. lol.

You also seem insecure, because a person's random lifestyle choice is that bothersome to you and your perceptions.

ptions

How do I seem insecure based on the story I just told? No, it doesn't bother me a bit that she's a vegetarian, i'm just having some fun.

 

[kaetic]

two trolls walk into a forum...

 

[user 188685]

I have this sort of friend who's a vegetarian and just to amuse myself, I have secretly been putting meat in food I prepare for her. I grind it up really well though, like really tiny pieces of bacon, that sorta thing. She thinks i'm a wonderful cook and really enjoys my meals, and i've been having a lot of fun with it. I just love seeing her secretly eat my meat.

I don't know if you are serious or joking,but either way,this is so not funny,you should seriously think about what you are doing,your friend is a vegetarian for a reason,you should respect that and stop putting meat in your friend's food.