My Story

[Legato]

Each one of us on here have our own story for why we are here. With me being new I thought I'd let you all in on mine. Hopefully get advice, hopefully see I'm not as alone as I think I am etc.

I've been suffering from depression since school. Despite having numerous friends in school, i still felt alone. School was all fun and games, outside school there was an emptyness. Not being invited anywhere, people lying to me, leaving me out etc. I shrugged this off to follow a passion of mine in music. So not going out wasnt a problem.

Years later I had a social life, but it wasn't a good one. I had 'friends' but was still felt empty. I had a girlfriend at the time (if you can call her that - cheated on numerous times, loved her though). I still felt alone, something missing.

I took an overdose when I was 20, fed up of everything. I'd lost my job, my girlfriend place to live. When I finally sorted accomadation out i decided it was time to think about me for a change. I've always been one of them people who puts others before themselves. I got rid of people who used me, people who were a waste of time etc, made myself completely alone.

This worked well for a while. If nobody was around me, then nobody could hurt me. It got very lonely though. I slowly let people back into my life that I shouldnt. But this time, it felt different.

I was going out virtually every night, meeting new people, having incredible nights out. We all planned on going away on holiday. However, I had racked up a lot of debt due to my flat so i was unable to go.

When they got back from their time away, it became apparent that I was left out the group. Everyone was to "busy" to come out, or come around to the flat. I was abondoned for no reason.

So I'm alone again. I decided to get rid of these once and for all. I don't need friends in my life who dont care or only use me when they're bored. I don't need a girlfriend who will cheat on me, or abuse my love.

Step in the right direction I know..but now i'm alone. No friends, no girl, nothing. I've contemplated taking suicide numerous times, but i wanna change. I know I'm a great guy. I know I can make someone happy. But that can never happen whilst i'm this..mess of a human being.

Apologies for the essay, i kinda needed to let it out.

Thank you all for reading <3

 

[Fvantom]

You need to find better friends, Ive had "friends" like that and it was terrible, theyd rarely ever ask me to do anything and when they did, they would literally ignore me the whole time and basically turned me into an attention whore -___-

Theres some things you can do to meet people, find some local bands and chill with them at shows, play paintball or airsoft. If theres anyone you still talked to that wasnt reslly involved with the group that abandonded you, start talking to them

 

[cumulus.james]

You said "I know I can make someone happy". now its a cliche i know but you really have to make yourself happy first. And I know that is easier said than done also.

You need to get some form of support, it doesn't matter how strong you think you are other people can recognize things in you that you can not. You should look for Cognitive behavior Therapy.