I’d only marry a woman who is emotionally stable, loyal, kind, interesting (as in we can have good conversations) and who I find physically attractive.
I have met plenty of women like this in my life, but very rarely one who was both single and where there was mutual attraction. Where she was single and there was mutual attraction there was always some other problem, like age difference, geographic distance, etc.
I won’t settle for less than what I mentioned in my first point. Far too many people marry or pair up because of social expectations or fear of being alone. That creates relationships that are a breeding ground for neurosis, infidelity (mr or mrs right can easily show up once you are already committed to mr or mrs better-than-being-alone), boredom and a bunch of other maladies.
The institution of marriage as it is structured right now is enough to deter me from marriage. Nobody in their right mind would enter into a business partnership with the terms that are embedded in the average marriage agreement, particularly if businesses partnerships had the failure rate marriages have.
I have seen both men and women burned by the divorce process, and the financial & emotional stress of it is horrific.I have known many married women and women paired in long term relationships who either flirted with me heavily or made themselves available for infidelity in one way or another. In fact this is true for the majority of married women I have gotten to know. Once I reailzed it was a trend and not a few isolated experiences it was a really sobering experience and really changed my perspective on marriage/fidelity.
I am convinced that social media and smartphones are very unhealthy developments in human evolution. I could not be with a partner who did not share this perspective as it would carry through to how we raised our children. Social media is also very destructive to relationships for many reasons, so I could never be with someone who spent hours every day submersed in that false and unhealthy digital environment.
Most people are unfortunately addicted to their phones and don’t even see a problem with it.Like many men who have commented here, I value freedom. I have a whole answer on this on another thread. But basically I have found that the relationships I have been with have pulled me away from the things that I find meaningful and give me joy and focused my attention on drama and stuff I otherwise wouldn’t give a second thought.
Following on from those points, there is a simplicity and clarity to being single and there is a space which creates potential for reflection and introspection. There’s a reason why monastic life for both men and women requires the renunciation of romantic relationships.Even if you can find a suitable mate, marriage is pretty much pointless in the absence of having children. And having children in the world we are currently living in does not seem like a terribly good idea to me. Apart from the massive financial pressure that is required to do it properly, negative societal and mainstream cultural influences are off the charts, the education system is fundamentally broken, they will be exposed to tons of kids who are raised by parents who spend their lives with their heads buried in the smartphones, the technology they are exposed to is toxic and the world is teetering on the brink of serious civil and international conflicts, as well as economic collapse. To consciously bring a soul into this mess requires some serious forethought, planning and resources.
Add the above eight points up and it’s easy to see how someone can reach their 40s and bypass marriage, and that’s not even taking into account the fact that the financial and educational pressures of the modern world are effectively forcing people to pair up and start families later and later.
Your young so give it much thought and remember courtship is needed, get to know your future wife properly, become great friends and soul mates, if she wants you she will stay around and the wait is worth it for you both, just my 2 cents...
