Need to get this of my chest.

[RMDan]

A few years ago I would have been able to spend an evening talking with a close friend when ever I needed to vent. Unfortunately she moved one way and I moved another. So I am going to let the users of this fine site act as a sounding board for my loneliness.


I have never been lucky when it comes to relationships. In high school I was not popular. I did not fit into any of the groups in our high school, I wasn't a brainiac, didn't play sports or act, but more of the tame lone wolf. I didn't party, but if I did I would not have any problems getting invited. While I was a geek, our school was very geek friendly. With all the computers I was in high demand when teachers or students were having problems. This did not help the fact I was to shy to try ask anyone out. The attempts I did make were not successful.

When I moved on to College only a couple of my classes even had girls in them. I didn't drink and my friends and I were not the kind to be found in a bar. All this lead me to now, 20.5 years old and never even kissed a girl let alone anything more.

During my last semester of college I started to suffer anxiety and mild depression. At times I would want some one I could just sit on the couch and cuddle with, other times I wanted to know how it would feel when I could finally shed my virginity. Back before we went our different ways, I knew I could always get a hug from my best female friend.

Luckily I have found a way of keeping the depression at bay. Once a week my friends and I would get together and play D&D and other games. While this helps fight the loneliness, I still crave a chance to a have a relationship even just a short one. Having a little bit of experience is better than worrying over what to do.

 

[Edward W]

Sorry to hear this Dan, I think you'll find a lot of people here who can relate to you.

Feel free to PM me if you ever want someone to talk to.

 

[Peaches]

Hey welcome! and thanks for sharing - wish you to find another best friend soon... you sound like you need to meet more girls, but that's another story. Can't really give any useful advice, but please make use of this sounding board

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

Hello Dan, I can relate to you. In High School I was pretty much picked on myself. It's good that you found a great outlet. In time I'm sure you'll meet someone. For the longest time I used to feel like I was the only one who felt alone or had these thoughts. Trust me you're not alone. D&D? My brothers used to play that, it's a pretty fun game so I can understand why it would help you.

 

[Regumika]

I can relate to this. Though I was actually content with my solitude.

You wont find a relationship unless you go out there and get one. Walking the mall, talk to strangers, dont look in a bar, dont look in a party, go to the park, participate in activities that include lots of people.

My social life is in online games. Sure, many many people come and go. And your guild is small, you never see their face. But if you find a small group locally, you can start to do stuff IRL too.

 

[Cavey]

I had a terrible school life. I was bullied mercilessly from an early age, by both students and teachers. I had few friends. I didn't go out much. By the age of 14, I was skipping more school than I was attending: I'd spend most of my time wandering the streets and smoking instead.

I have no social skills and I find it difficult to relate to other human beings at all. Like you, I always thought I'd spend my entire life alone without ever feeling what it was like to be loved, yet somehow I still managed to have a few girlfriends and even got married when I was 26.

I am one of the most dysfunctional, introverted and socially inept people you could ever meet, so if I managed to meet someone, I'm pretty sure you can too.

 

[flaneur]

I don't know what to tell you here, really, other than to try to enjoy your independent time the same way you do with your buddies so that you don't dwell too much on it.

 

[maybelazy]

Hi,

I was very similar to you at your age. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I do have a fair bit of relationship experience now than I did when I was your age.

I know its very hard to "get out there". The way I dealt with that was to try and make friends with people with common interests, D&D in your case.

I'm currently reading "how to win friends and influence people". So far, 3 of the key lessons have been, remembering peoples names, trying to help people and talking to people about stuff they are interested in.

Trust me, if you make new friends, the relationships will happen by themselves.

PM me if you need someone to talk to.