Never change for anyone.

[Lilianna]

Never change for anyone. So you change the way you dress, or you change the way you do your hair, or you change a mannerism...and still people will not "like" you? Some actually may like you, but, do you still like yourself?

If there is something about you that you do not like, by all means change it! But never, EVER change for somebody else. Like someone else here (more than one person) has said; there is someone who is looking for and wanting to be with the real you. No matter who that "YOU" is.

Peace.

 

[Veruca]

Agreed . Though I think its one of those lessons a lot of us have to learn the hard way you know? I always knew in theory that we shouldn't change ourselves for anyone. But then you go for so long without friends or a partner or getting employed or something, and you begin to wonder....if its them or you.

And while I may have wasted time and effort changing myself for others, in some ways I'm glad I did. I find that it humbled me a bit, and if anything, it helped me discover myself more....if that makes sense

I suppose at the end of the day, it just depends on the person and what drives them to want to change who they are. And what drives them to stop and just embrace their individuality

 

[dreamsurfer]

Life is better when you can recognize the person you see in the mirror.

 

[perfanoff]

My wish is that I can find somebody that would deserve me changing myself for.

 

[Vermillion Sky]

Changing for someone else will lead to self misery as you will not be happy with a fake you.

 

[Peaches]

sometimes it is good to change, but only for oneself

 

[New Eyes]

sometimes it is good to change, but only for oneself

Well said.

 

[Rosebolt]

sometimes it is good to change, but only for oneself

I agree on this as well. Actually, i believe one should constantly try to change and better themselves, but only according to their own path, and not for anyone else.

 

[perfanoff]

There is a lot of things I can change about me that would make me a better man. But I am content in my life right now, so there is little motivation for changing.

Having a woman that I love can inspire me to make these good changes to my life.

 

[jetthejinx]

Life makes everyone change anyway, we may not even notice it, but the slightest experience whether good or bad changes us, but i agree, never change for anyone else's benefit, if they didn't love you for who you are, then they are loving someone you are not. Fake is not the way to go!!

 

[perfanoff]

I think I understand the idea of what you're saying now. Is it, to not have other people DEFINE us?

 

[Lilianna]

I think I understand the idea of what you're saying now. Is it, to not have other people DEFINE us?

Yes.

There are people that will try to define you, and there are people that will actually try to get you to change something about yourself to fit their definition... I guess what I am trying to say is be true to yourself, no matter what. Life does change us, and hopefully for the better. And self improvement is always a good thing of course, but never on someone else's terms.

 

[perfanoff]

I think I understand the idea of what you're saying now. Is it, to not have other people DEFINE us?

Yes.

There are people that will try to define you, and there are people that will actually try to get you to change something about yourself to fit their definition... I guess what I am trying to say is be true to yourself, no matter what. Life does change us, and hopefully for the better. And self improvement is always a good thing of course, but never on someone else's terms.

Hehe
Reminds me of my last ex.. she was the party-goer, jobless, unfaithful type. I had loved her a long time ago and for the sake of that I took her back. Yeah, I tried to change her. Didn't work. She was too true to herself and herself just couldn't cut it. Erased her from my life. No regrets.

My goal wasn't really to change her. It's just that for guys, sex is pretty **** important, only when we get it, we get a clear head to feel about who we're dealing with.

I don't know what I'm saying.
Bye.

 

[Lilianna]

I think I understand the idea of what you're saying now. Is it, to not have other people DEFINE us?

Yes.

There are people that will try to define you, and there are people that will actually try to get you to change something about yourself to fit their definition... I guess what I am trying to say is be true to yourself, no matter what. Life does change us, and hopefully for the better. And self improvement is always a good thing of course, but never on someone else's terms.

Hehe
Reminds me of my last ex.. she was the party-goer, jobless, unfaithful type. I had loved her a long time ago and for the sake of that I took her back. Yeah, I tried to change her. Didn't work. She was too true to herself and herself just couldn't cut it. Erased her from my life. No regrets.

My goal wasn't really to change her. It's just that for guys, sex is pretty **** important, only when we get it, we get a clear head to feel about who we're dealing with.

I don't know what I'm saying.
Bye.

LOL I understand what you mean. When you tried to change her, in your case it sounds like it's because she was going down the wrong path, I mean after all she was cheating on you and who wants that?
We all want to help people that we see in trouble or going down the wrong path, but until they see what's wrong for themselves and decide to change, it will never happen. So no point in even trying to help people change unless they see whats wrong for themselves and ask for help.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Never change for anyone. So you change the way you dress, or you change the way you do your hair, or you change a mannerism...and still people will not "like" you? Some actually may like you, but, do you still like yourself?

If there is something about you that you do not like, by all means change it! But never, EVER change for somebody else. Like someone else here (more than one person) has said; there is someone who is looking for and wanting to be with the real you. No matter who that "YOU" is.

Peace.

Unfortunately, I had to learn that the hard way.

sometimes it is good to change, but only for oneself

I agree on this as well. Actually, i believe one should constantly try to change and better themselves, but only according to their own path, and not for anyone else.

There is a lot of things I can change about me that would make me a better man. But I am content in my life right now, so there is little motivation for changing.

Having a woman that I love can inspire me to make these good changes to my life.

Definitely agree with you guys here.

My goal wasn't really to change her. It's just that for guys, sex is pretty **** important, only when we get it, we get a clear head to feel about who we're dealing with.

I don't know what I'm saying.
Bye.

I don't know what you're saying either, perfanoff. Lol.

 

[SophiaGrace]

But relationships are about compromise...

 

[Lilianna]

But relationships are about compromise...

There has to be compromise to an extent whenever two or more human beings are even in the same room thats a fact.
Some things can be compromised and some can't, I believe when compromising there has to be a healthy medium.

 

[flaneur]

I agree. I also think it's important to remember that you can still be yourself while making that self better. Too often someone has complained to me that they're alone because everyone else is this way or that way, and when I recommended they try such and such to improve, they pulled out the "I'm just being myself" excuse.

 

[ardour]

Personal change would seem to be inevitable in the move from single into a relationship. No longer sitting around in you're y-fronts eating potato chips is a good thing.