Never had friends

[crayon man]

I don't think I ever had proper friends growing up, my parents moved a lot, and I do remember figments in my memory, but all seem hazy to me now, I'm nearly 51, and basically, everyone is gone, when I mean gone, they're gone, dead.
I've been living on my own in North Yorkshire UK, for a good while now, semi-rural, so every day seems like the next to me, if two people say Hello in a week, that's a good week, but I'm not into small talk, pretty pointless really.
I have tried volunteering in different places, but I don't think I'm that liked to be honest, but that's ok, people have said in the past they didn't like me, I asked for feedback, have done something wrong I could alter? they just said it is something about me, but at least they were honest.
I have tried to engage with people, I really have, joined walking groups in the past, but to be honest, they were a bit too set in their ways, very negative,i couldn't cope listening to it every week, I did try.
I am ugly, there is no getting away from it, I've always tried my hardest in the past to alter this to a degree, keeping fit, and slim, trying to make the best of what I have, people have said in the past, and that's ok, I know my limitations, but I can't just crawl under a stone, even though sometimes I wish I could, what do people want me to do with that information? what good does it do tell me? I'm unsure, so yeah I wish I had proper friends, no agendas, etc..

 

[user 188522]

Many of us on this forum do not have friends. I don't. However, I feel comfortable on this forum. I hope you will find some comfort here.

 

[M_also_lonely]

Being alone is our true nature. That's why, any relation starts weakening, once it starts losing relevance, socially.
For instance some were great friends in college. But after it ended, most of that friendship was forgotten. Some stayed friends only because there is some social thing that binds them together.

 

[dan27]

Nobody is ugly. No friends means less disappointments.
People come & go....it is what it is.

Maybe join a class: karate,yoga,night school,etc.
Buy a guitar..get good on it & they will flock to you.

Never quit. Count your blessings. Enjoy your life.

 

[user 188685]

Many of us on this forum do not have friends. I don't. However, I feel comfortable on this forum. I hope you will find some comfort here.

This is also the case for me,I have my friends on here that I love and I love this forum site,just such great people on here

 

[Bratwurst0516]

I have face-to-face friends, who I only see every couple of years. Because, I only see them at a health conference that takes place yearly. Before I moved to another (US)state in 2019. I would actually be able to see people. Now, With the pandemic, it is practically impossible. I am thankful that, I can ZOOM with friends.

 

[Puppykat56]

I don't think I ever had proper friends growing up, my parents moved a lot, and I do remember figments in my memory, but all seem hazy to me now, I'm nearly 51, and basically, everyone is gone, when I mean gone, they're gone, dead.
I've been living on my own in North Yorkshire UK, for a good while now, semi-rural, so every day seems like the next to me, if two people say Hello in a week, that's a good week, but I'm not into small talk, pretty pointless really.
I have tried volunteering in different places, but I don't think I'm that liked to be honest, but that's ok, people have said in the past they didn't like me, I asked for feedback, have done something wrong I could alter? they just said it is something about me, but at least they were honest.
I have tried to engage with people, I really have, joined walking groups in the past, but to be honest, they were a bit too set in their ways, very negative,i couldn't cope listening to it every week, I did try.
I am ugly, there is no getting away from it, I've always tried my hardest in the past to alter this to a degree, keeping fit, and slim, trying to make the best of what I have, people have said in the past, and that's ok, I know my limitations, but I can't just crawl under a stone, even though sometimes I wish I could, what do people want me to do with that information? what good does it do tell me? I'm unsure, so yeah I wish I had proper friends, no agendas, etc..

I haven’t had a real friend for many years. I somehow started a pattern at a very early age of gravitating toward emotionally abusive people. My “best friend “ in elementary school yelled at me every other day for one reason or another, but that was my comfort zone because I had no father and my mother also yelled, and screamed, at me regularly. As I got older, I had less yelling in my friendships, but the emotional abuse and betrayal continued. I chose lovers the same way. Once you’re broken inside, your feelings of what feels right is always wrong. I haven’t had a friend now for about 10 years. It’s lonely, but it’s easier. The constant pain and turmoil of wondering what I said or did wrong was crippling. I think all of us reach a point where loneliness is preferable to heartache and disappointment. Having “friends” can be very painful for some of us. Please don’t say that you’re ugly. The real human ugliness is in a person’s heart and your heart seems beautiful to me. I know it sounds corny as hell, but you can be your own friend. It took me forever to learn that. And get to a local animal shelter and rescue a dog or a cat. I truly couldn’t live without my pets. It is possible to live a life of solitude and be somewhat content. I don’t mind admitting that my dog is my best friend. Good luck and best wishes to you.

 

[howdidifindmyselfhere?]

I would say that I have never really had that many friends either. I guess the ability and confidence of makiing friends is a skill you learn as a kid. Growing up was hard, and fitting in with the other kids, who were all doing the physical things that kids do, that I wasn't able too, (I was in and out of braces/plaster cast jacket throughout my younger years) seemed to make it extra difficult.

There are many people I know of and know of me, mainly who I work with, but I wouldn't say that we are really friends if that makes sense.

The people on this forum all seem like a friendly and welcoming bunch, and while having online friends is nice, it's like having an ebook. Sometime you just crave the feeling, the touch and smell of a physical book.

And no, I don't go around smelling my friends, it would help explain why I don't have many though.

 

[howdidifindmyselfhere?]

spam in quotes- I can help you

Wow, is it just me or does anyone else think that this is low?

The only people that these type of people help is themselves to what ever money they can get, by praying on the lonely when they are at their most vulnerable, with promises of friendship.

If they really cared and wanted to help, they would be here on the likes this forum, offering friendship and support and not elsewhere charging for it.

Thanks for the offer though, but I would rather put up with being lonely than to have to buy a fake friendship which is actually what this is.

 

[user 164061]

Wow, is it just me or does anyone else think that this is low?

The only people that these type of people help is themselves to what ever money they can get, by praying on the lonely when they are at their most vulnerable, with promises of friendship.

If they really cared and wanted to help, they would be here on the likes this forum, offering friendship and support and not elsewhere charging for it.

Thanks for the offer though, but I would rather put up with being lonely than to have to buy a fake friendship which is actually what this is.

I hit the good old report button for this garbage. It's super scummy doing that kind of thing for monetary gain and it makes zero sense why people do this at all.

 

[howdidifindmyselfhere?]

I hit the good old report button for this garbage. It's super scummy doing that kind of thing for monetary gain and it makes zero sense why people do this at all.

Agreed it really is super scummy.

I can understand why people do it for monetary gain and the answer is simply because they can.

It's not something I could bring myself to do, but they know that if they cast their lines out into a pool of loneliness (as they have done on this site) they are bound to get a few takes. They don't want to be your friend, and that don't even care, but I guess "I'll talk to you if you pay me too." doesn't quite have the same impact.