Not sure what to do

[It'sabeautifullife]

About 2 months ago my fiance was texting my friend and telling her how bad he wanted to have sex with her and that he's wanted to for a long time, and that went on all weekend until she told me about it on monday night. I confronted him about it and he said he thought we were breaking up so he wanted someone else to want him. I had no idea that we were on the verge of breaking up. We broke up, but eventually got back together. He told me he was so sorry and it would never happen again because he loves me so much.
Then the other day I found facebook messages to his friends ex-girlfriend. He was telling her that he's sorry he missed out on his chance to be with her, because I guess they could have been together when we broke up, and that he still liked her and wanted to go see her (she lives 2 hours away). He said his friend asked him to talk to her because she was suicidal, but that was a lie, and he just went out of his way to talk to her. He keeps telling me how sorry he is and that he just wants us to be together, but I don't know if I should give him another chance. He said he wants to go to therapy or counseling because he's "messed up/messed up".
Anyway, so we've been broken up for like 2 1/2 weeks, which isn't that long, but we've been together for 2 years and lived together most of that time. He said that he was lying to the girls both times because he wanted them to say yes to him and to like him. He recently told me that he was feeling really bad about himself and wanted someone else to like him and blaaaaahhhh. It's just really frustrating because it makes me feel like I'm not enough.

Long story, but my dilemma is whether or not I should keep him in my life or just been done with it? I'm not saying that we'd be getting back together like right now, but I just don't know what to do. I want to believe him and I want things to be good again, but there's nothing stopping him from talking to another girl if we're fighting and he's feeling bad about himself again. I wonder if counseling would help

 

[robot]

Cut him out of your life. I was with my boyfriend for three years and stumbled on some explicit messages on his myspace with the girl he cheated on me with. All out there on public display, too. Not even in private messages. Classy, eh?

Oh, my ex also did the whole, "Wahh, I'm sorry, I'll never do it again" bit. I tried very hard to forgive and forget -- but the paranoia never leaves you alone. It sits there and rots in the back of your head. Makes you sick to your stomach to consider STD's -- if he is playing around with other girls, who's to say he won't contract something and transmit it on to you?

Don't be in a relationship and tell someone you love them if you want to play games, IMO. Be a man or woman and just cut the ties, then slut around on your own time instead of wasting someone else's.

---

PS - Feel free to PM me anytime if you need someone to talk to

 

[rosebud]

Leave him. People never change. Even if he promises he won't do it again, he will. The guy seems like a ********* to me anyway from what you wrote.

 

[happyman]

I agree dump him imagine if you get married then he fucks you over

Get out now.. but I know you wont

Girls love jerks

Its a fact, your too scared.

 

[edgecrusher]

he sounds like a d-bag to me. cut all contact.

 

[EveWasFramed]

He actually sounds like he has some emotional/mental issues, IF the reason he gave you were true. But, either way, if I were in your shoes, I'd definitely cut him out of my life. It sucks, but there you have it.
*hug*

 

[Badjedidude]

Long story, but my dilemma is whether or not I should keep him in my life or just been done with it?

HE WILL ALWAYS CHEAT ON YOU

Sorry. I just thought I'd make that clear.

Guys like this don't change. They say they're sorry and then do the same **** things over and over again. He's not going to magically realize that you're his ONE AND ONLY. He only wants pussy and he's letting his body control his life; instead of his head. He's not going to get better and you're not going to change him.

Drop that trash.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I would kick him to the curb. That's a bullshit excuse if I ever heard one. Thought you were breaking up when you're engaged? Believe me, he won't change. They usually never do. And he's only coming back to you again and again because he knows you'll allow it. Don't allow him to show his ass to you and tell you to kiss it, then take him back when he realizes he made a mistake. You deserve better than that.

 

[freedom]

the answer is clear. you must rid yourself of him. getting with him will be setting yourself up for failure. i imagine that you were pretty hurt on both ocassions that you mentioned. imagine how catastrophic it would have been if you were together and he actually went through and slept with these other girls.

you said it yourself... "there's nothing stopping him from talking to another girl if we're fighting and he's feeling bad about himself again". i don't know him personally, but i do know his type. it's straight up bullshit what he's saying about being messed up in the head. no counselor on earth will be able to help him. he's just making up an excuse for his actions, hoping that you'll take the bait and feel compassionate for him so that he'll be able to continue his ways.

trust me on this one and save yourself the grief. you don't want to be with him. do not give him another chance. two years of your life are gone, but that's nothing compared to many more years of suffering if you choose to stay with him. find yourself someone that actually cares enough for you to be loyal to you and stick with him.

i wish you luck on your ventures.

-freedom

 

[beans]

I agree dump him imagine if you get married then he fucks you over

Get out now.. but I know you wont

Girls love jerks

Its a fact, your too scared.

LOL.....well, I think it's the same for guys. I see a lot of guys not wanting to leave their gfs even though they cheated on them. Guys are scared of not ever getting another woman ever. Yep.

 

[Ak5]

Remove him from your life.

Best solution.