Boundaries are important, as are respect for those boundaries.
I don't really have a desire for an excess of control outside of myself.
Although I do have a very OCD-style desire for self control and balance.
And ideally I would like to have a partner that is also trying to learn that or value that.
The reason being is because, there are certain things, small things, about yourself and about human nature that happen on not just an instinctual level, but also on a mental and physical level as well, that go subtly unnoticed to the oblivious individual purely because it's not the kind of thing that you think about unless you happen to take notice of it in the moment.
And the problem with a bunch of little things (like small gears in a big, complex clock system) is that they add up cumulatively. and then become one big issue that screws the whole thing up.
You know, kinda like how anytime your car breaks down and you get into pulling it apart and then you find out that not just one thing is messed up, it's a whole bunch of stuff that's messed up that cumulatively added to the whole of it eventually ceasing to work.
Yes that does get used improperly as a sales pitch often and probably isn't the best example but I mean, you don't have to take your car in to a mechanic in order to learn that, you really can pull the problem apart yourself and figure it out. And that's how you go from having a small expenditure into having a large expenditure without you knowing it.
That's what a lack of individualistic or self control can contribute to and/or lead up to.
Go to the doctor, doctor says you're overweight.
Inquire about what that actually entails about your health, and he'll tell you about your heart health, liver health, kidney health, cholesterol levels, blood sugar levels, potentially blood pressure levels if that was taken, diabetic risk, etc. etc. etc.
Same kinda thing.
Oddly, and no I don't particularly encourage this, this is the kind of a thing that I learned out of psychedelic trips.
Because tripping will make you hyper-aware of the small details of yourself that you otherwise did not have detailed note of.
Again, I don't encourage substance use, but this is just how I learned that kind of a lesson, and how it can be a really easy oversight.