paranoia - everyone hates me / is laughing at me

[cosmicpsyche]

I resign myself to being lonely to avoid facing this seemingly impenetrable tangle of paranoia of everyone wanting to put me down, and exchange secret comments about me and laugh about how hopeless and/or inferior i am.

Does anyone else ever feel this way? Does anyone have insight into figuring out what to believe about how someone else is judging you? Does anyone feel hopeless because no one can ever know everything that is in someone's mind, and because you don't have anyone you trust to help give you other opinions and perspectives on the situation?

I wish I could be having a better time in this forum, but as much as i gain from it, I am so held back because of my paranoia that i have no friends, not even here; that i am voluntarily ignored and ostracized. Not surprisingly, such paranoia and fear hold me back from sharing thoughts openly, and I am always so afraid of saying anything, anywhere in life. When I do manage to squeeze something out of myself, it's totally overthought, way wordy and over-edited (cuz I can't seem to pinpoint exactly what i need to say so instead over-inform in the hopes of providing enough for an inquisitive mind to decipher, analyze and respond). It's frustrating because everything i do takes me sooooo much longer, it's so inefficient; and any message becomes so heavy and unclear that probably no one reads it thoroughly or is capable of analyzing me and giving a proper response. Probably the more i re-read and re-edit, the more afraid i am of negative feedback, because i think it becomes more choppy and senseless and obvious how unsure i am of anything i am saying, which naturally evokes negative reactions.

 

[samba101]

I had those problems and it really hurt my self esteem. I couldn't write a sentence without feeling I might say the wrong thing and I never knew back then how to really express myself.

Those days are gone, now I'm more confident within myself to express what I need, sometimes I get stuck on how to express what I really want so don't really say much like I'm doing now.

What may help you is finding a forum that deals exactly with what your going thru so you can find other people who are the same and while reading some of their posts you may gain some insight.

Sorry I can't be of much help but I can't really remember what I was going through as it was a while a go, I don't have the best memory.

 

[Ovid]

Hi cosmicpsyche,

You're not alone in feeling that way, I have a similar type of paranoia.

I tend to over-analyze almost everything I do, say and type. Single bad events can be like a movie clip that replay's over and over for days afterward in my head, while I'm wondering what everyone else thought of me (which stops me from doing much outside of work, to minimize the amount of events my mind has to dwell on and analyze).

Usually when I talk its not impromptu, it has to be formatted in my mind beforehand so that I know I'm expressing things correctly and won't fumble my words.

I just care way too much about what people think of me. But the funny thing is, when I had a girlfriend that I really cared about those feelings sub-sided as if they didn't matter anymore. I guess in that situation I knew someone actually loved me and I didn't really care about what others thought, and as long as she thought well of me my mind didn't torment me.

Anyway, enough of my ramblings,
All the best.

 

[breakthecycle]

I feel the same way every day, like if I know someone hates me or dislike me, it can kill my day even though I just should say "**** em" Which is eaiser said than done.

I feel that because I have felt I've been betrayed my entire life. Not familly wise, but more from so called "friends"

 

[Divinitywolf]

I used to be like that but I've forced myself into a determined mindset that is making me more confident.
Just focus on how your future will be like if you continue the way you are, and how you WANT your future to be.
Try to give yourself the drive to move forward

 

[Lonesome Crow]

it's all in your head....

Step out of your mind and learn to be an obverser of your thinking patterns

Learn how to meditate.
Meditations is just a process of letting go of your thinking and not being attached to your thinking.

The more you step back or step out of your mind as if you're up in space and observing yourself.(higher consiousness). The less you'll become a puppet of your delusions or get pulled by it.

The more you lettgo of your thoughts without trying to figure it out or aynalize why and just let
it pass through, the more peace you'll find.

Fear is an illusion.

Analogies...
Your mind is like a merry go round on a play ground...Jump off of the merry go round.
Eventaully the merry go round will come to a stop..if you're not riding it.
In other words that's now you're mind becomes still.

Another one...
Your mind is like a bull in a bull ring arena...
If you try to taim or ressle the bull...you're just get hurt and be like a clown.
Simply step out of the bull ring and the bull will eventually make it's way back to the stable.

Letting go/Surrender...it's saying the samething.

Stop figthing it....surrender
No fighting = peace