Parent Hood?

[CenotaphGirl]

Hey guys and gals can I ask… when did you know that you wanted to be a dad or a mum or not at all?

All my life I wanted to be a mother, I long for a family.. for a purpose, as looks centred as I am I’d give up my body for it… whatever the cost i’d pay it… you know?

 

[TheRealCallie]

Early teen years for me. I always wanted twin girls. Had names picked out and everything. I had two boys, that are not twins. Both of them didn't have names until right before we left the hospital to take them home. With the first we compromised...he is only called his real name for official ****. With the second, I won. Lol

I don't like pregnancy....oh and btw, it's going to **** up your ****s.

Pretty much everything else you can work around, but the ****s are toast.

 

[Finished]

I knew that I didn't want to have any kids in elementary school.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Early teen years for me. I always wanted twin girls. Had names picked out and everything. I had two boys, that are not twins. Both of them didn't have names until right before we left the hospital to take them home. With the first we compromised...he is only called his real name for official ****. With the second, I won. Lol

I don't like pregnancy....oh and btw, it's going to **** up your ****s.

Pretty much everything else you can work around, but the ****s are toast.

Awhhh I always wanted triplets so my fella cant say 2 max! Honestly i’d have 50 if i could lol and

No pleaseeee not the ****s! Is it from breast feeding? omg the horror

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I knew that I didn't want to have any kids in elementary school.

But why Finished all your amazing dna wont pass on

 

[Finished]

I knew that I didn't want to have any kids in elementary school.

Everybody kept telling me that I'll change my mind as I get older. But, as the years rolled on and I got into relationships I still did NOT want to have my own child. But, I was fine with helping to raise someone else's.

 

[Finished]

But why Finished all your amazing dna wont pass on

I don't like my DNA. Well, I should say, I don't like my DNA for this particular universe that I'm in. It does not match up very well with the rest of it's human occupants.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Awhhh I always wanted triplets so my fella cant say 2 max! Honestly i’d have 50 if i could lol and

No pleaseeee not the ****s! Is it from breast feeding? omg the horror

Well, it's worse if you breast feed because that just extends the time you're....engorged. But even if you don't breastfeed, the milk still forms, so it changes your ****s pretty significantly.

I'm not opposed to more kids, I'm just opposed to them coming out of ME.

 

[TheSkaFish]

It's cool that you know what you want, and it sounds like you've known for a long time.

For me, I don't know...for one, having kids is expensive. Which means I'd have to have a really good job, or else everyone is just going to have a miserable time. I've seen it...and it's not something I'd want for myself. So that means I'd basically have to forget about anything I wanted for myself, or wanted to do in life. I'd be living to be a provider and that's it.

Also, there's still a lot of things I'd like to do. I feel like in a lot of ways I'm still a kid at heart myself. I still want to buy things for myself, learn new things, get into interests. And I still feel like I don't have my own life sorted out, who I am, what I want out of life, all that kind of stuff. I don't know, as much as I've felt the pull towards wanting a mate, I've just never felt the pull towards being a parent. It kind of doesn't make sense.

However, I am worried about not having anyone to take care of me when I'm older. Perhaps one day I'll change my mind and feel like I was wrong and missed out.

I guess I've never really felt a strong pull to have kids. I have felt a pull towards getting a puppy, though.

 

[TheRealCallie]

However, I am worried about not having anyone to take care of me when I'm older.

Just because you have kids, doesn't mean they will take care of you when you're older. They could be ********.

 

[Abstamyous]

I was convinced being an auntie was better than being a mom. I have kids and I still feel the same some days lol.

 

[ringwood]

I thought I didn't want to be a mum until I actually had my son. I was 37 when I had him and up until that point, I was of the mind that I didn't want kids. Then I got pregnant - I remember being really upset at first, then resigned and then going through a period where I was desperate for a girl. When we found out we were having a boy, I was devastated. Now. . . 13 years later, I couldn't imagine having a girl (God knows, I know what I put my own mother through. . .)

My son is everything to me - he's kind and compassionate, stubborn like his dad and armed with my sarcastic sense of humour - he'll go far in life, heh! But seriously, I couldn't imagine my life now without him. And it's not like I was smitten with him the day he was born - lots of parents describe falling in love with their babies from day one, but it wasn't like that with me at all. I'd say it took about 6 months to a year before I felt really bonded to him - like to the point where I felt, 'Yes, this is my son. . .' in my heart. Until that point, I'd look at him and he was like this little stranger always demanding **** from me and stealing my sleep.

As to wrecking your ****s like Callie mentioned - nah, not so sure about that. I practiced extended breastfeeding (your child self-weans/where you continue breastfeeding after one year). I breastfeed my son until he was about 2 1/2 years of age and my ****s still look good. Maybe they're a little droopier than they might have been years ago, but that's more due to age than breastfeeding.

Also, there's still a lot of things I'd like to do. I feel like in a lot of ways I'm still a kid at heart myself. I still want to buy things for myself, learn new things, get into interests. And I still feel like I don't have my own life sorted out, who I am, what I want out of life, all that kind of stuff. I don't know, as much as I've felt the pull towards wanting a mate, I've just never felt the pull towards being a parent. It kind of doesn't make sense.

I think many people—once they have kids—tend to devote their whole lives to them and I've always thought that was a bad approach to being a parent. I know so many who spend their free time shuttling their kids to hockey games, extra-curricular activities, friends, etc, etc and they never have a spare moment to themselves. I value my spare time and as my son has grown up, I've made sure that I still enjoy my own hobbies and interests. Just because you have a kid doesn't mean you have to give up your identity. Plus, the cool thing about having a kid and being a kid at heart is that it's really easy to get down to a child's level and just have fun and let loose.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Just because you have kids, doesn't mean they will take care of you when you're older. They could be ********.

Yeah that's true, it's a real risk. I was just going on what I saw in my own experience, but it was easy to forget that it's not always that way.

Who knows, maybe in the future I can have a robot dog take care of me - best of both worlds!

 

[user 115627]

I think up until my teen years I had not even spent any thought on the possibility of having kids. I was already a late bloomer with regards to the whole "relationship" thing. The idea of not wanting to be a father properly cemented when I was 18 largely due to the total lack of connection I had always felt towards any non-adults and my emotional disconnect towards people at large. I certainly couldn't get myself to gamble with a child's future on the notion that maybe sorta I will suddenly develop a connection later because it's my own offspring. Taking care of pets (which I couldn't imagine in the past either) has reinforced the idea that I would probably take on that duty and go through the motions but I know my heart wouldn't really be in it. And no child deserves that fate.

 

[user 135671]

I knew that I didn't want to have any kids in elementary school.

Yep me too, Elementary schools tough enough already thanks

Like @ringwood I didn't think I wanted kids until my then partner fell pregnant, I was 22 and my daughter, this gorgeous, hilarious, magical, mystical little treasure changed my life. I didn't care about my importance, my relevance, my title, my pedigree, all I cared about was providing for my sweet girl and making her happy.

I'm going to have to disagree with Callie on the ****s too I'm afraid, my old lady's were bloody magnificent after her pregnancy.
,

 

[TheRealCallie]

I'm going to have to disagree with Callie on the ****s too I'm afraid, my old lady's were bloody magnificent after her pregnancy.

Well, a woman's perspective and a man's perspective are two ENTIRELY different things in this department. The father of my kids really enjoyed mine after pregnancy too.

 

[Nicolelt]

I haven't gotten pregnant in the 6 years not doing anything to prevent it. Then this year I got pregnant and had a miscarriage. Then I told the doctor what should I do to not let this happen again. They put me on medication, after a month of it I became suicidal. I was driving with my husband in the car and thought I could just crash it and kill us both. Why not? Everything I loved was in the car, including my dog.

I would make an awesome parent, I already parent plenty of kids now. I just can't do this **** to my body anymore. Why am I putting all of this chemicals and hormones in my body, and making myself miserable for this? For an ungrateful little brat? I will resent my husband for this too, because this is all on ME. I am the one having to do this and go through hell.

We have decided if it happens, it happens. And if it doesn't, oh well. We are both pretty content with how our lives are going, and he much rather have me around and happy/sane than suicidal. I am done with doctors when it comes to this topic.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Well, it's worse if you breast feed because that just extends the time you're....engorged. But even if you don't breastfeed, the milk still forms, so it changes your ****s pretty significantly.

I'm not opposed to more kids, I'm just opposed to them coming out of ME.

Honestly my ****s are too expensive for all that lol just gonna have to get them properly done over seas

would you ever donate eggs ?

 

[CenotaphGirl]

It's cool that you know what you want, and it sounds like you've known for a long time.

For me, I don't know...for one, having kids is expensive. Which means I'd have to have a really good job, or else everyone is just going to have a miserable time. I've seen it...and it's not something I'd want for myself. So that means I'd basically have to forget about anything I wanted for myself, or wanted to do in life. I'd be living to be a provider and that's it.

Also, there's still a lot of things I'd like to do. I feel like in a lot of ways I'm still a kid at heart myself. I still want to buy things for myself, learn new things, get into interests. And I still feel like I don't have my own life sorted out, who I am, what I want out of life, all that kind of stuff. I don't know, as much as I've felt the pull towards wanting a mate, I've just never felt the pull towards being a parent. It kind of doesn't make sense.

However, I am worried about not having anyone to take care of me when I'm older. Perhaps one day I'll change my mind and feel like I was wrong and missed out.

I guess I've never really felt a strong pull to have kids. I have felt a pull towards getting a puppy, though.

I agree with this, I think its important to be financially stable to have children people think of me as a gold digger but I genuinely think you have to know what you want and go for it in a sensible way. No point pairing with someone who cant afford to have kids and no point having kids if you cant or wont provide. I think we will always regret things we didnt do more than things we have done in the end as it will be another thing on the list of experiences that we didnt get to experience but by no means do I think that it would be the wrong choice if you know you arent ready and know its not what you want

 

[TheRealCallie]

would you ever donate eggs ?

As in donate eggs for someone else to have and raise what would biologically be my child? I don't think I could do that. I couldn't handle knowing I could have a child out there and not know them or raise them.

I think its important to be financially stable to have children

Just keep in mind that if you wait until you can afford to have children, you will never have children. I don't care how much money you have, whether you are rich or poor, you will want to buy your kid ****...A LOT of ****. lol