Please take me out of my misery

[Guest]

The only thing I have to look forward to is writing my suicide poems.

 

[mink]

I think if you want out of your misery, you gotta start writing poems about other things. Writing more suicide poems will just make you feel more miserable. What's bothering you really?

 

[Guest]

A lot of stuff...no friends, job (or lack of), family hates me, I have no motivation, I'm ugly, I've never had a g/f, quarterlife crisis, no interest in anything, the fact that no one really cares that I'm suicidal.

 

[mink]

Hey, i care that you're suicidal. And i think it's not an option you should come to choose. I think some of the people on this forum can relate to you in one way or another. You're here, that means you want help and it means you can give it a shot at improving your life slowly. So take things easy for now, then think of what you want. Just one thing at a time

 

[Guest]

Thanks mink. I think the worst part of it all is feeling invisible to the world. It's like, if I were to die tomorrow...no one would notice, so why not? I wish I just had one thing to live for but I don't. Every day I live is just a waste of resources that could be used toward feeding children in Darfur. Those children WANT to live unlike me.

I wish that I could at least be successful in my professional life but I know I'll never have that. Some people say "you can be whatever you want to be", but it's so not true. I've worked with some highly qualified, highly superior males who are executives in their field and only in their 30's. I can't turn myself into a highly driven, attractive alpha male. It's just not possible. I'm always going to be stuck at the bottom of the food chain. I'm always going to be looked down upon, stepped on, and have feelings of insecurity. You can't really change your fate. The only thing that keeps me optimistic is the hope that some day this will all end.

 

[mink]

Yeah well..i'm not gonna be what i wanted to be, in fact i'm gonna end up being or doing something that i never considered doing. It made me doubt so many things before, but i decided and i chose to accept it. That things will never happen the way i want them to. And if that happens, what i can do, at most, is to learn how to adapt and learn to love what i am fated to do. Which i think is still slowly working its way through now.

I think that you may try turn yourself into a highly driven, attractive alpha male, it's how you carry yourself out there in front of others. But if really there's nothing you can do about it, if you've got no other choice but stay stuck at the bottom of the food chain, then i think it's possible that you be the best among the others at the bottom. Keep trying.
This will all end, hopefully in a good way and not how you were initially thinking of ending it. Hope's there so that means giving up is not an option.

 

[NewBirth]

nothing changes w/o change