Questions for the Men

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Okay men... riddle me this... I wanna know truth only, dont just say what the princess wants to hearrr

If a girl asked for your friends number but he wasn't interested and she turned to you after and asked for yours, (she's deffo your type), would you turn her down for the principal or appreciate her boldness and give it a go?

I'd give her my number, specifically to trip up my friend into talking to me about her later to figure out what he knows that I don't.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I'd give her my number, specifically to trip up my friend into talking to me about her later to figure out what he knows that I don't.

You are confessing men gossip about us to... lol I knew it!!

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

You are confessing men gossip about us to... lol I knew it!!

Not necessarily. If I think he's full of bull, then I'll just ignore it. Also it kind of depends on my friend. Some guys have higher thresholds than other guys. For example, I'm an absolute horror buff, but I know a guy who legit can't handle scary movies even though he's got two sleeves of tattoos and you'd think he'd be able to handle it. Can't judge a book by its cover. I do however, like to gather information before making decisions or pursuing endeavors of any kind of investments or experiments. Again, I'm all research and development. It isn't that I *can't* get legitimately lovestruck, it's just that it rarely happens to me. In the brunt of my life, dating and women are kind of besides the point of my life. Whereas with a large majority of men, dating and women is the entire point of life.

 

[sparkyn98]

Okay, guys... I'm too lazy to read through this WHOLE darn thread...

I'm just going to throw mine out here.

You've been married 12 years, your wife says she's unhappy, you start doing the work (counseling, self improvement, talking stupid Love Languages)... a year later, she says she wants a divorce.
Do you A) Make a grand gesture
B) Grant her the divorce
C) Tell her you can work things out since you've been doing the work
D) Tell her new boyfriend Good Luck (just kidding)

Seriously... any guys gone through divorce that now think they have avoidant-dismissive attachment styles?

How hard do you try when you're the only one trying?

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Okay, guys... I'm too lazy to read through this WHOLE darn thread...

I'm just going to throw mine out here.

You've been married 12 years, your wife says she's unhappy, you start doing the work (counseling, self improvement, talking stupid Love Languages)... a year later, she says she wants a divorce.
Do you A) Make a grand gesture
B) Grant her the divorce
C) Tell her you can work things out since you've been doing the work
D) Tell her new boyfriend Good Luck (just kidding)

Seriously... any guys gone through divorce that now think they have avoidant-dismissive attachment styles?

How hard do you try when you're the only one trying?

Divorce is why I won't get married in the first place. This is a little bit difficult for me to conceptualize, in part because my longest relationship was 8 years from 16 - 24, although I was actually planning to propose at the 10-year mark.

Funny thing about Option D: I did, actually kind of handle the fallout of my 8-year relationship that way. She ran off with him and left me for him. And he now doesn't want her anymore for the most part and feels like I shanghaied him with her. Serves him right for going after a taken woman? They're a match made in Hell for each other, but I digress...

I'd probably grant her the divorce, but I'd request that we do it intelligently and respectfully. Mostly to give myself time to figure out how to restart my life again (which is why I don't like the idea of divorce in the first place).

If C was going to work, it would have already by the time you've gone through the counselling and the work etc. So, C just logically isn't going to work.

And I really don't think A will work either, because like with C if it was going to work, it would have already by that point.

Ideally as a man, you would have a separate bank account entirely for the purpose of your love life. But unless you're a proper entrepreneur with a Masters or a PhD in Business, that's purely idealistically thinking, typically that's not really possible. The catch-22 of course being that, if you ARE a proper entrepreneur with a Masters or phD in Business, well then it's quite likely that you don't actually have the time for a traditional love life or marriage.

 

[Finished]

Okay men... riddle me this... I wanna know truth only, dont just say what the princess wants to hearrr

If a girl asked for your friends number but he wasn't interested and she turned to you after and asked for yours, (she's deffo your type), would you turn her down for the principal or appreciate her boldness and give it a go?

I would absolutely give her my number. Then I would never ever let her come within 10 miles of my friend. Actually I would probably ghost my friend until she broke up with me realizing she's never going to get my friend. But, the entire time I would promise her that we'd meet up with my friend for coffee, meals, ice cream, all kinds of things. I would even say he's looking forward to meeting up with her. But, unfortunately at the last minute he would always seem to cancel.

 

[Finished]

Sparky: It depends how she looks, if she has already checked out of the marriage, and if she actually does have a boyfriend. But, for the most part I would keep trying as long as she hasn't given up. I broke up and got back together with a long term girlfriend 3 times.

 

[english steve]

Women cheat too

 

[english steve]

I don't have any relationship widowed recently, sleep too much eat poorly, feel v sad

 

[user 139760]

Okay, guys... I'm too lazy to read through this WHOLE darn thread...

I'm just going to throw mine out here.

You've been married 12 years, your wife says she's unhappy, you start doing the work (counseling, self improvement, talking stupid Love Languages)... a year later, she says she wants a divorce.
Do you A) Make a grand gesture
B) Grant her the divorce
C) Tell her you can work things out since you've been doing the work
D) Tell her new boyfriend Good Luck (just kidding)

Seriously... any guys gone through divorce that now think they have avoidant-dismissive attachment styles?

How hard do you try when you're the only one trying?

Whoa. That's a really condensed twelve years in there.
I don't really like questions like these because, judging from the way it was written, it totally assumes that only one person is responsible when there's two people in the marriage. Wife being unhappy is extremely large. Sure, men can be *****, but so can women. Whenever I hear people talk, in my case girls, about their previous relationships, 9 times out if ten it came down to "Oh, he was an ***". Right, because you're entitely a saint...
Anyway, D. I've actually done that.

You'll also have to be a bit more specific on what you mean by avoidant-dismissive.
You either care about soneone and want to spend time with them.
If your own insecurities are somehow blocking you from that, maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship in the first place. You're projecting previously acquired attirudes to someone who isn't responsible.

 

[user 139760]

I got a question for the men; do you have a lot of guy friends? I find that I have very few. I have plenty of acquaintances or coworkers and get along pretty well at work, but outside of that, in my personal life? Most of my long time friends are women, because we usually share more interests (everything except cars, sports and girls, which I find to be inane subjects). Except my best friend, which I see maybe once every couple of years, yet it's like only a few minutes have passed.
Is this the same with you?

 

[Unsigned]

do you have a lot of guy friends?

Yeah.
I only have guy friends.
Females I either pay&bang or have no involvement with them at all.
I don't even stay in touch with female relatives.
Not saying that is good. I think it is not.
But it's just how I am.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

I got a question for the men; do you have a lot of guy friends? I find that I have very few. I have plenty of acquaintances or coworkers and get along pretty well at work, but outside of that, in my personal life? Most of my long time friends are women, because we usually share more interests (everything except cars, sports and girls, which I find to be inane subjects). Except my best friend, which I see maybe once every couple of years, yet it's like only a few minutes have passed.
Is this the same with you?

I manage a staff of 10 women.
But that's at work. I don't really socialize out of work that often.
The two friends that I do have away from work are both men, both of which I've known for 10+ years.
I suppose I COULD put myself out there a little more socially, but I mean, I'm not that social of a person.
I guess in my particular instance that I'm just more comfortable socializing behind a screen, namely a laptop or a computer.
I think I am that way because I live a very busy life and I'm always doing stuff responsibility-wise, so whenever I do end up with the free time to go out and if I do have the money to do so, well okay then what I end up not having is the energy.

Don't get me wrong, I love my bros, but they're a lot more...emotional than I am, I guess is probably the way to put it. One of them is on disability, drunkenly blows my phone up sometimes even though we schedule a day a week to hang out. The other is very impromptu and overly-communicative (his words, not mine), and he doesn't quite understand why I need to have a more structured lifestyle.

Second guy I'd actually expect him to kind of understand that, as in I'm surprised he doesn't. He's kind of a huge success career-wise, but he has low self-control, which confused me a bit and took me a while to figure out. Because he's actually really intelligent and articulated, just had I not known him for as long as I have I wouldn't be able to think it through.

Friendship-wise I guess I'm just adjusting and adapting to be this way.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I have a question, my bestie is in an amazing relationship I always post about it. She was on the phone with me while I was getting ready to open some gifts Rob got me and she burst out crying because her fella never gets her gifts…

Is it wrong if she asks for some gifts sometimes to make her feel special, how would you as a man take that? Would you feel insulted ? Would you understand?

 

[MrLonely86]

You need to deserve gifts. xD

 

[CenotaphGirl]

You need to deserve gifts. xD

Omg she is a perfect partner, but I think he doesnt know gift giving is important to her, I think gifts are deffo my love language but I did remind her men aren’t perfect, they aren’t mind readers, maybe throw it out there

 

[user 135671]

I got a question for the men; do you have a lot of guy friends? I find that I have very few. I have plenty of acquaintances or coworkers and get along pretty well at work, but outside of that, in my personal life? Most of my long time friends are women, because we usually share more interests (everything except cars, sports and girls, which I find to be inane subjects). Except my best friend, which I see maybe once every couple of years, yet it's like only a few minutes have passed.
Is this the same with you?

Yeah, totally the same with me. I have a couple of male friends of my missus that I could happily go for a drink with. But my friends? Not a ***** among them.

 

[MrLonely86]

Omg she is a perfect partner, but I think he doesnt know gift giving is important to her, I think gifts are deffo my love language but I did remind her men aren’t perfect, they aren’t mind readers, maybe throw it out there

Gifts take 5% of my love language. Quality time on the other hand 35%. XD

 

[Cherubino]

how often do you get gifts and what kind

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Gifts take 5% of my love language. Quality time on the other hand 35%. XD

Hmm but would you care if your gf asked you for more gifting?

how often do you get gifts and what kind

Truthfully its random and I get him random but thoughtful things, like my fave gift from him was a box of retro sweets we shared them whilst he told me childhood stories. Its just little things like that.