Rant

[Ak5]

I feel old, yet I'm only 15. I feel like it's just too late to make friends and too late to "have fun". I want to have fun, I don't want to sit inside my house 24/7. I try to go out, but only my shadow accompanies me, no friends, yeah. For years I have had no-one else to talk to but myself, it ******* hurts. I tell my parents, they don't understand, they have their own friends. Sure they love me, they're my parents, but they don't understand.

I'm ******* tired, tired of this **** I go through every day. Yeah, I'm going to start a real school in January, but I have to survive on my own until then. I've been to Jr. High where I had zero friends for three years straight, never talked to anyone there. And since the start of High School, I decided to be homeschooled, it's worse now, I see no-one. For some odd reason I feel like I'm too old, like it's just too late to make friends and enjoy having friends. I don't know why I feel like that; after this year I have two more years of High School and all my years of college, I try to rationalize that I still got many years of life ahead where I can enjoy friends, but I don't feel that.

At least having one ******* friend would make it better, someone to talk to face-to-face. I have a lot of things to say, but I have no-one to say them to, except here.

I would like to see girls too! But I don't, I just see four walls 24/7. I'm a human being! I'm not meant to see walls 24/7, and not have people of my sex to hang out with and people of the opposite sex to date with!

I just want to have friends and have fun, that's it. Is that too hard to ask for? Just having one ******* person, is that so ******* difficult? People my age are supposed to have friends, I don't; **** you! "Not having friends is hazardous to your health". **** you too!'

I've never been part of a group, I want to part of one! I would love to be part of a group, I want to know how it feels like. It's feels like a void in me, something I need filled. I know, I'm part of ALL, but it's not "real" it's all online. I want to see other people's faces, I want to feel accepted and part of a group. I would give anything to be part of a group, I want to know how it feels like to have other people to talk to. I have no ******* idea how it feels like and as of now, I feel empty.

I know I have the skill to make friends, I know I can make friends, I know I will be part of a group when I go to school in January. I am confident I will! But I have to survive on my own until then, less than three months! But the feeling of loneliness is just overwhelming me.


Thanks for reading, I feel a little better now. XD

 

[Fvantom]

Read the whole thing and I completely understand, but you have to shake the thought that its too late, youre only 15, you really do have plenty of time, but I still know how it is, Im 21, and I feel like its too late as well, I still have a chance though, Im starting school in january as well, the problem with me is that college is my last chance, you still have 2 and a half years of high school, and thats before you even start college, you may be starting a little late but youre far from being out of time. Stay strong for these next few months, and it will all pay off when you start school

 

[SofiasMami]

For some odd reason I feel like I'm too old, like it's just too late to make friends and enjoy having friends. I don't know why I feel like that;

Ah, I don't know why you feel that either
I'm pushing 40 and still making new friends. 15 is not an easy age - when you get older and have more life experience under your belt, you'll find that life gets easier. Change isn't always easy but I think you'll be fine in your new school.

Teresa

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I actaully spend more time outside in open space.
It's a far cry from where I was at 3 years ago.

I actaully havnt been able to sit long enough to enjoy a movie.

I think...it's keeping me sane inspite of everything I'm going through at the moment.

I do attend support groups at the moment...but I dont say much.
It's better than staying at home staring at the 4 walls or isolating.
I dont believe if if I tell anyone about my problem will make a different in my life
oneway or the other.

I do have some family members that'll keep in touch with me. It helps.

Anyway...3 years ago..I remember forcing myself to go outside.
A little bit at a time. I took baby steps.

My life isnt perfect nor it's what i want it to be at the moment.
The past 2 years had been a journey. Lot of changes. Lots of good and bad moment.
I've done a lot of off the wall stuff and lots of healthy things too.
I also know I lived those moments for what they were....I can't compair it to anyone's else.
It depends who I talk too. I did many things that lots of people can only dream of doing, while others will totally
disapproved of some of my chioces or life style.
Never the less....It's definitely different than stairing at the 4 walls and a different life style of that.

I dont feel that cob web or fog in my mind from isolating anymore.

 

[Arcane]

Teenage years are always rough for everyone I think...hang in there

 

[Sbellonely]

I know how you feel my dear!

I've been there. In fact every now and then I'm there. I lost my connection with my family 6 years ago. Every where I go Im alone eat lunch, dinner, snacks, coffee! Alone! And when I go home I see no one but my own self in the mirror. I had fiancé but his was always traveling. It was my mistake too though. I isolate my self from people because I was waiting for him. I want to start it with him. But fool me now he ran after 19 yo. And I'm 29!

Try to go to some event, like church perhaps? Normally they have youth group. I know it won't solve all your problem but sometimes it helps a bit to be in the crowds. Who knows you'll find a goof friend.

 

[IgnoredOne]

You're not too late. I think you very much overestimate the importance of just having other people, though - as valuable as it is, I greatly appreciate the serenity of solitude very often. It depends on the person, of course.

 

[Vagrant Legacy]

Age of 15 sucks. I think that's something most people here would agree on..
Other than that, your rationalizations are right - you DO have more than enough time to make friends up ahead in life. Just try and survive being 15 for a while.. that's tough enough as it is

 

[Ak5]

Thanks for the replies guys, I'm trying my best just to get by the day; although, having at least one friend and person to talk to would make it a whole lot easier.

 

[Ak5]

Age of 15 sucks. I think that's something most people here would agree on..
Other than that, your rationalizations are right - you DO have more than enough time to make friends up ahead in life. Just try and survive being 15 for a while.. that's tough enough as it is

Trying.

Thanks.

 

[LoneKiller]

I feel old, yet I'm only 15. I feel like it's just too late to make friends and too late to "have fun". I want to have fun, I don't want to sit inside my house 24/7. I try to go out, but only my shadow accompanies me, no friends, yeah. For years I have had no-one else to talk to but myself, it ******* hurts. I tell my parents, they don't understand, they have their own friends. Sure they love me, they're my parents, but they don't understand.

I'm ******* tired, tired of this **** I go through every day. Yeah, I'm going to start a real school in January, but I have to survive on my own until then. I've been to Jr. High where I had zero friends for three years straight, never talked to anyone there. And since the start of High School, I decided to be homeschooled, it's worse now, I see no-one. For some odd reason I feel like I'm too old, like it's just too late to make friends and enjoy having friends. I don't know why I feel like that; after this year I have two more years of High School and all my years of college, I try to rationalize that I still got many years of life ahead where I can enjoy friends, but I don't feel that.

At least having one ******* friend would make it better, someone to talk to face-to-face. I have a lot of things to say, but I have no-one to say them to, except here.

I would like to see girls too! But I don't, I just see four walls 24/7. I'm a human being! I'm not meant to see walls 24/7, and not have people of my sex to hang out with and people of the opposite sex to date with!

I just want to have friends and have fun, that's it. Is that too hard to ask for? Just having one ******* person, is that so ******* difficult? People my age are supposed to have friends, I don't; **** you! "Not having friends is hazardous to your health". **** you too!'

I've never been part of a group, I want to part of one! I would love to be part of a group, I want to know how it feels like. It's feels like a void in me, something I need filled. I know, I'm part of ALL, but it's not "real" it's all online. I want to see other people's faces, I want to feel accepted and part of a group. I would give anything to be part of a group, I want to know how it feels like to have other people to talk to. I have no ******* idea how it feels like and as of now, I feel empty.

I know I have the skill to make friends, I know I can make friends, I know I will be part of a group when I go to school in January. I am confident I will! But I have to survive on my own until then, less than three months! But the feeling of loneliness is just overwhelming me.


Thanks for reading, I feel a little better now. XD

It's not too late. If you were 75yo then maybe. My brother is 39 going on 80. Lots of people feel like you.

"...Age is a matter of the mind. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.."

--Samuel Clemens

 

[Ak5]

Lol, that helps Jason, thanks.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Heck you have lots of time ahead of you, so don't feel you don't. At 15 you still have so much to look forward to, like getting your license (clearing the sidewalks of those pesky pedestrians), having a girlfriend (keeping your hands above the waste), whatever the legal age for drinking is in your area (not that you have to drink but at least you have more places to go hang out), being able to get into R rated movies without a parent, even better getting into adult movies (if that ends up being your kind of thing), having sex (once you are older and in a serious relationship and married). (lol)

High school might seem like it's far off but before you know it, it will be January (going to punch myself in the head for saying that) and you'll be in school and making new friends. Just be yourself, don't fall into something you aren't just to have friends. The real friends you'll make will be the ones who like you for you.

Oh and be prepared for all the drama that comes with high school. That is a fun ride...

 

[Calm]

When I was 15, I went to school but only person I talked to was myself. I somehow alienated myself.

Then I went to highs school with big hopes of starting new. But I ****** up really bad. I created this false ideal image of myself, to be cool, to make friends, etc. And I basically lied to myself and others and ****** up real time, ended up having no friends.

About second year of college I started to have some friends. College changed me. It made me a real person.

So, my advice to is: Be yourself and be strong. Don't let others fool you and be honest. The less things you have to lie about, the easier it is to actually live, you don't have to actually remember anything. Meantime, take up some sports activity, like long distance biking. I did and it really helped me calm my nerve, life was frustrating. Plus I get to be outside.

 

[Ak5]

I just want to part of something, I want to take part of the complex social relationships that friendship. I want to feel as a part of something, I feel empty right now.

 

[Felix]

hmmm... well all I can think of telling you right now is to be prepared for when you go back to HS. Bear in mind, it will take an effort to make friends, specially since you are probably not interacting much with kids of your age.

 

[silver birch leaves]

Age of 15 sucks. I think that's something most people here would agree on..
Other than that, your rationalizations are right - you DO have more than enough time to make friends up ahead in life. Just try and survive being 15 for a while.. that's tough enough as it is

I agree with VL. Being 14-16 was pretty bad for me too, then things started to settle slowly.

If you think that it's too late to make friends, think how miserable I can feel myself, living 20 years longer than you

 

[cumulus.james]

I feel old, yet I'm only 15. I feel like it's just too late to make friends and too late to "have fun". I want to have fun, I don't want to sit inside my house 24/7. I try to go out, but only my shadow accompanies me, no friends, yeah. For years I have had no-one else to talk to but myself, it ******* hurts. I tell my parents, they don't understand, they have their own friends. Sure they love me, they're my parents, but they don't understand.

I'm ******* tired, tired of this **** I go through every day. Yeah, I'm going to start a real school in January, but I have to survive on my own until then. I've been to Jr. High where I had zero friends for three years straight, never talked to anyone there. And since the start of High School, I decided to be homeschooled, it's worse now, I see no-one. For some odd reason I feel like I'm too old, like it's just too late to make friends and enjoy having friends. I don't know why I feel like that; after this year I have two more years of High School and all my years of college, I try to rationalize that I still got many years of life ahead where I can enjoy friends, but I don't feel that.

At least having one ******* friend would make it better, someone to talk to face-to-face. I have a lot of things to say, but I have no-one to say them to, except here.

I would like to see girls too! But I don't, I just see four walls 24/7. I'm a human being! I'm not meant to see walls 24/7, and not have people of my sex to hang out with and people of the opposite sex to date with!

I just want to have friends and have fun, that's it. Is that too hard to ask for? Just having one ******* person, is that so ******* difficult? People my age are supposed to have friends, I don't; **** you! "Not having friends is hazardous to your health". **** you too!'

I've never been part of a group, I want to part of one! I would love to be part of a group, I want to know how it feels like. It's feels like a void in me, something I need filled. I know, I'm part of ALL, but it's not "real" it's all online. I want to see other people's faces, I want to feel accepted and part of a group. I would give anything to be part of a group, I want to know how it feels like to have other people to talk to. I have no ******* idea how it feels like and as of now, I feel empty.

I know I have the skill to make friends, I know I can make friends, I know I will be part of a group when I go to school in January. I am confident I will! But I have to survive on my own until then, less than three months! But the feeling of loneliness is just overwhelming me.


Thanks for reading, I feel a little better now. XD

You have a picture of Monk as your avatar. This should give you cause for concern.

 

[Ak5]

^ Irrelevant in my opinion.

I like Monk and it's a forum for lonely people, I thought it would be a perfect match.

As for everyone else: Thanks. I'll keep your advice in mind.

 

[cumulus.james]

^ Irrelevant in my opinion.

I like Monk and it's a forum for lonely people, I thought it would be a perfect match.

As for everyone else: Thanks. I'll keep your advice in mind.

I was only messing, its British Sarcasm. I like House better though.