Relationship? Never been in one.

[booknmoviegal]

I am 40, female and have never been in a relationship. I have never been kissed or had sex. I have been on only 1 date. That was to my high school prom and it was with a gay guy. It never really bothered me until about a year ago. Up until then I was perfectly content with my single life. I work 2 full time jobs and take care of my mother. People often mistake me for being 25 years old and I have friends, just not any close enough to really talk to.
About a year ago I bought a house. It should have been the happiest time of my life. Around the same time, I started to take notice of one of my co-workers. I guess here is where I tell you my co-worker is also female. I already had been working with her for about a year and we never gave each other the time of day. Then it got around work that she was in the process of getting a divorce....from her wife. She was dating another co-worker of ours (a male) and since no one male or female has ever given any hint of interest in me, I just went about my oblivious way.
I have told people before that there is only one person in this world who could get me to bat for the other team: Natalie Portman. Well, one day at work she gave me "a look". No one has ever given me a look like that before. I just brushed it off as a moment we had and nothing more. Then she would show up at work on her day off. It was usually to see her boyfriend but she would always make sure to say hi to me. Her boyfriend by the way is an ***** and never treated her right. Over this time, we became friends. Then they broke up. She called me up upset about it. Here I am telling her that he didn't deserve her, she could do better, that she needs to find someone who will treat her the way she should and deserves to be treated. She in the meantime not realizing I am poring my heart out to her and having no idea what I'm talking about because I have never been in a relationship.
As the New Year began, I finally got the courage to tell her I liked her. She said that she did not want a serious relationship right now. I told her that she was in the drivers seat and it was up to her. We left it at that as our friendship grew stronger. She still giving me "the look." Then she stopped calling or texting me. Two weeks later, she came into my work with her ex-boyfriend (neither of them work there anymore.) She looked embarressed that they were together again and him showing her off like he could have her anytime he wanted.
They are currently broken up again. I told her that their relationship is off and on more than a **** stars clothes. We haven't really talked lately except to say Hi. She seems to "show up" to see me say hi and leave.
My one good friend who knows the situation and how I feel is trying to help out. She says she will find someone for me and has been taking me out, but when we go out, it just makes me feel sad. I look around, see couples and wish she were here to give me "the look" again. Mabye I have been tanted by watching to many movies or reading too many books, but I believe with all my heart, I was ment to be with her. I know that there is something special between us. And if she doesn't realize or think I am the one for her, than I am ment to be single and alone forever.

 

[aspeckofdust]

Well, I've never been in one either, so I'm not exactly a know-it-all it when it comes to relationships. My common sense however says that she doesn't want you, especially since she stopped calling or texting you. I would think most of that has to do with the fact that she knows you want to be with her and she either doesn't want things to be like that with you or she's starting feel the same and is just scared. Sorry to say though, I'm leaning towards the former, because she's been with a woman before, so unless she's had a string of bad relationships and is turned off by them now or something, I don't think it's that she's scared.

As far as her giving you "the look", maybe she's just a flirty person in general. Some people are like that and it never means anything to them, but it can give other people the wrong idea. I say this because I don't see why if she was giving you "the look", she would distance herself from you like she has. Personally though, if you ask me, I don't think people should flirt unless they actually intend it to mean something. -_-

Anyway, I don't believe you're meant to be single and alone forever. I know how you feel. You're crazy about her and she's not returning your interest. And when that happens and they start the distancing thing, you feel heartbroken and you feel like your destined to die alone. That's not necessarily true though (and this is kind of hypocritical of me to even say since I've felt like and still do feel like that frequently). You could meet someone at any place, at any time. It might start out as a friendship and involve into a relationship or it might be a "love at first sight" type of deal. Who really knows? It could happen tomorrow even though. And while I wish you best of luck with the woman you want, if it doesn't work out the way you hope, don't just give up and assume you're going to die alone, because being lonely is a harsh way to live.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Maybe I am only good at being the devil's advocate.

I hate to be mean or negative. However, do you think you could continue your current lifestyle if you had someone? Two full-time jobs is a lot. Maybe now that you are feeling like this. It is a wake up call. Take a bit and focus on yourself. Get yourself out there and around others. Enjoy yourself not just life.

It sounds to me like you are not living for you. You are living for others. While others may be your work or your mother. Trust me I know how you feel. I had a crush on a girl at work who was a tremendous flirt. Now she is married and still flirts with me.. She knows I am attracted to her. People are just like that. They love the feeling of being desirable.

Then again you said she just left her wife... Maybe she doesn't want a relationship with another girl.

 

[hamm]

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[Adrolak]

Is this guy ( the above poster ) serious? Either way, neither have I, been in a relationship that is.

 

[frey12]

I am going to be honest I read no one else reply. However I want to congradulate you on putting yourself out there for what seems by your explaination the first time! However women like her like to be mistreated from what you are saying. If you are interested in other women maybe try going somewhere social that is populated by other women. I know this is extremely hard to do however you seem well off. Just a bit of a lack of experience. Which you can gain if you know what you want. However I would not suggest waiting around for this person you mentioned. She seems like she would want you controlling her not the other way around. And she cheated on her wife I think. So you don't want her doing that to you. So if you were just sharing how you felt in an open place feel free to ignore what I said. If you were looking for advice go somewhere public where you can have fun or includes a personal interest of yours. Then just try to seem open to someone who gives you a smile and a look as you put it.