mmm...too much starbuck perhaps.hahahaa
I know it passes but I don't like it...it's very dangeruous for me...because I don't
make the best of decisions when I feel this way. I just want to do something to make it stop.
It general starts me on a drink, partying binge or my other addictions such as sex.
I describe it as bordom...when anything and everything I do is boring to me.
I want some excitement in my life...that's why I pick psycho ******* as my gf....hahahaaaa
I feel like I need to live life on the edge.
That's why I used to ride my motor cycle balls to the wall...but my ex-gf didn't like it.
It's like i need to spend a couple of weeks at six flags to release all the energy.
or go crazy on my guitar and just let it rip.
or I feel like just breaking stuff.
or i feel like self sabating.
mmmm..I've been feeling like this for the past month or so...
it comes out in many forms...such as " I don't give a ****"
I know what trigggered it. I still feel I'm not in total control of my life and a lot of things arn't going my way.
I'm trying not to react as much....
I'll tell on myself though. I've been going on a shoping spreed for the past couple of weeks. It just my addiction morphing
or I'm substituting. I don't even wear 90% of the clothe I've purchased. I'm not a fucken none though. hahahaaaa