Second stage of male loneliness

[vng2015]

I can not speak for women -- I can only speak for men. The first stage of male loneliness is when a man is unable to find a partner. Most young men are in this position and InCels are angry about it. I do not agree with InCels blaming women for having dating preferences. Most men also prefer women under 50 and should not be blamed for it either.


The second stage of male loneliness is when a man is unable to find even platonic (mostly male) friends to commiserate with. Paradoxically, in Modern Age many such men exist. I never though finding Zoom friends would be that difficult.


I am a 53 yo male, weigh 157 kg, unemployed, suffer Asperger's Syndrome and some Depression. Of course I am not looking for a romantic relationship. But I am looking for platonic friends -- preferably people similar to myself. Strangely, even that seems very difficult.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I hope you find some friends! I’m just a woman so I know nothing about the male plight but I do know its harder to make friends than ever before as everything is so impersonal and virtual…

 

[user 164061]

Someone is out there for everyone, even in this judgemental society in my opinion. I am 30 but i suffer with anxiety/depression (mainly depression) and i've met many bad people who i thought i could call "friends" so it's hard for me to accept people as i'm always thinking "when will they **** me over". Which obviously isn't a good mentality to have, because not everyone is like that in this world. But for people with disabilities/mental illness etc it is a lot harder to find people because as i said lots of folk judge way too much due to misconceptions about disability/mental illness. I hope you find what you are looking for as everyone deserves a friend/companion

 

[user 188685]

I hope you find some friends! I’m just a woman so I know nothing about the male plight but I do know its harder to make friends than ever before as everything is so impersonal and virtual…

I agree with you there cenotaph girl,very true sadly.

 

[user 188685]

Someone is out there for everyone, even in this judgemental society in my opinion. I am 30 but i suffer with anxiety/depression (mainly depression) and i've met many bad people who i thought i could call "friends" so it's hard for me to accept people as i'm always thinking "when will they **** me over". Which obviously isn't a good mentality to have, because not everyone is like that in this world. But for people with disabilities/mental illness etc it is a lot harder to find people because as i said lots of folk judge way too much due to misconceptions about disability/mental illness. I hope you find what you are looking for as everyone deserves a friend/companion

That's very true,I hope you can find a friend too and yes everyone deserves to be happy.

 

[vng2015]

I hope you find some friends! I’m just a woman so I know nothing about the male plight but I do know its harder to make friends than ever before as everything is so impersonal and virtual…

Thank you. Finding friends online is very difficult.

 

[vng2015]

Someone is out there for everyone, even in this judgemental society in my opinion. I am 30 but i suffer with anxiety/depression (mainly depression) and i've met many bad people who i thought i could call "friends" so it's hard for me to accept people as i'm always thinking "when will they **** me over". Which obviously isn't a good mentality to have, because not everyone is like that in this world. But for people with disabilities/mental illness etc it is a lot harder to find people because as i said lots of folk judge way too much due to misconceptions about disability/mental illness. I hope you find what you are looking for as everyone deserves a friend/companion

Thank you.

I am looking for similar lonely people about my age.

 

[howdidifindmyselfhere?]

So I have always struggled with friends. As I think I have said before, I think it's a skill you learn as a kid and if you can't find acceptance as a kid, and form friendships when you are young, it really knocks your confidence going forward.

While finding a partner has never really bothered me that much, sure it has often played on my mind from time to time, the older I get, the more and more I find it does. Maybe it's the realization of just how alone I stand to be when I am older. That said, I have no-one else to blame for the way I am, a part from me and my own stupid insecurities and monsters hiding under my bed.

Like you, I do not agree with InCels and to be honest really don't understand them. We all have preferences, likes and dislikes in life, so why shouldn't they exist in the dating world?

For me, I think one of the other problems with finding friends online is trust, in that you have to put a lot more trust in the person hiding behind the screen that you are speaking to, and that they are actually who they say they are. Whilst I can say that I have no reason to doubt anyone that I have spoken to on here, I am sure on other sites this may not be the case.

Good luck with your search, I hope that one day you find what you are looking for.

 

[user 188685]

So I have always struggled with friends. As I think I have said before, I think it's a skill you learn as a kid and if you can't find acceptance as a kid, and form friendships when you are young, it really knocks your confidence going forward.

While finding a partner has never really bothered me that much, sure it has often played on my mind from time to time, the older I get, the more and more I find it does. Maybe it's the realization of just how alone I stand to be when I am older. That said, I have no-one else to blame for the way I am, a part from me and my own stupid insecurities and monsters hiding under my bed.

Like you, I do not agree with InCels and to be honest really don't understand them. We all have preferences, likes and dislikes in life, so why shouldn't they exist in the dating world?

For me, I think one of the other problems with finding friends online is trust, in that you have to put a lot more trust in the person hiding behind the screen that you are speaking to, and that they are actually who they say they are. Whilst I can say that I have no reason to doubt anyone that I have spoken to on here, I am sure on other sites this may not be the case.

Good luck with your search, I hope that one day you find what you are looking for.

This is very true

 

[TheRealCallie]

Thank you.

I am looking for similar lonely people about my age.

Why would you limit your options if you want friends so much? You should open up the playing field and just take whatever comes, regardless of age or circumstance. I have friends a lot younger than me and friends a lot older than me. Age and circumstance doesn't really matter, connection is what matters.
It's your life and your choice, obviously, I just hate seeing people limiting their options when you could find your best friends in a group you might not want to look at.

 

[9006]

I must be in stage 999 by now lol. In fact I'm so used to being on my own that I find it hard to maintain things like friendships or anything else for that matter, they only time I really speak to people is in work!

 

[howdidifindmyselfhere?]

Why would you limit your options if you want friends so much? You should open up the playing field and just take whatever comes, regardless of age or circumstance. I have friends a lot younger than me and friends a lot older than me. Age and circumstance doesn't really matter, connection is what matters.
It's your life and your choice, obviously, I just hate seeing people limiting their options when you could find your best friends in a group you might not want to look at.

I kind of agree with this. Age is just a number. Physically, I am in my late 40's but mentally I am younger than that. Why rule out possible friends on accounts of age? As long as you are open and honest about the age you are so whoever you are talking to is aware, they can make that decision if its right for them or not. If it's not that's their problem, you can't do anything to change the age you are.

 

[vng2015]

Why would you limit your options if you want friends so much? You should open up the playing field and just take whatever comes, regardless of age or circumstance. I have friends a lot younger than me and friends a lot older than me. Age and circumstance doesn't really matter, connection is what matters.
It's your life and your choice, obviously, I just hate seeing people limiting their options when you could find your best friends in a group you might not want to look at.

I guess, my age group is 25 to 75.

 

[Lonelyroad]

Someone is out there for everyone, even in this judgemental society in my opinion. I am 30 but i suffer with anxiety/depression (mainly depression) and i've met many bad people who i thought i could call "friends" so it's hard for me to accept people as i'm always thinking "when will they **** me over". Which obviously isn't a good mentality to have, because not everyone is like that in this world. But for people with disabilities/mental illness etc it is a lot harder to find people because as i said lots of folk judge way too much due to misconceptions about disability/mental illness. I hope you find what you are looking for as everyone deserves a friend/companion

I'm a bit older at 48 but pretty much have the same issues as yourself. Once one or two or three "friends" screw u over then yeah it's very difficult to then trust the next "friend" that comes along and I suppose that's not a healthy way to live. However though putting yourself out there again to only end up the same thing happen again really does make it almost impossible to trust anyone. I suppose it comes down to the individual but for me, I probably won't trust another friend 100% the rest of my life and thats sad and just hope you find at least one true friend!